And Then There's The Problem Of My Mute Best Friend
by weheartscorose
Summary: 'I want to turn around and yell, scream, kick him and say no! I was not flustered, HE was! But let's face it; Scorpius Malfoy was never flustered. His face would never turn as red as mine does, it would remain as pasty and cold as his demeanor and this gives me some satisfaction - he was a Dementor.' A story in which Rose and Scorpius decide to talk again.
1. Prologue

**Hello All!**

Hey guys,

So, some may remember me as pen name: conscience-artist where I have done stories such as _The Hard Times of One Genevra Jean Weasley_ and _The Rough Times of One Rose Genevra Jean Weasley._ I have since made a new fanfic due to not having that pen name or login anymore (please see my profile). I am starting a new fanfic account as part of me wants to disassociate from my old fics and re-write them. So, if you're a old follower, I am re-writing my fics and hopefully making them better.

I am doing a disclaimer for the entire story right now, right here: I am NOT JK Rowling, I do not have anything legally to do with her characters except for the fact that I love them. I do not earn money to write, I am not famous for writing Harry Potter, I am just a mum who likes to write when her kids are asleep.

Now, continue.

* * *

 **Prologue**

Have you ever found yourself lying?

For example: Your mum tells you to clean your room; you don't clean your room. Your mum comes home and asks if you have cleaned your room. She's looking at you straight in the eye and you're looking back at her.

" _Of course I've cleaned my room!"_ you reply. But you haven't cleaned your room.

But have you ever lied to yourself? You're arguing with yourself in your mind. Of course I will study tonight. But you don't study that night, or the night after that. And you find yourself binge-studying three hours before your Charms exam and your eyes are falling out of their sockets and you haven't eaten in ten hours and shit, was the smell coming from _your_ body?

What about something a little deeper than that?

What if you had promised yourself you would never, ever, _ever_ fall for his smile again, or the way he says ' _howsit?'_ as if it was an official greeting or the way he bites his lip when he concentrates.

Or the way he smirks when he watches you study because Merlin, I hate being distracted if I am supposed to be studying.

His fists had hit the wall and his hair was wet, his knuckles had been dripping with I don't even knows whose blood when he said something that hit me.

" _When you have nothing to care about, it becomes all about yourself."_

Well this year I had tried not to care and I needed to spend more time on myself but as normal, there were too many things I tried to keep my concentration on and everyone accused me of always thinking about myself but isnt that the life of a fifteen year old?

When you have nothing to care about, it becomes all about yourself.

We lay at the top of the Astronomy Tower with the smoke of our cigarettes moving with the breeze, staying half a metre above us as he inhaled and exhaled.

I slipped one in between my own lips and looked across, his long legs crossed and he puffed his smoke in the air, a plume floating above him.

His school shirt was open and I could see the white of his flesh, a red, web like mark spreading across his chest and the dips showing where his muscles separated.

My own smoke tasted horrible on my tongue but I inhaled too. Night thirty-six here in the astronomy tower I had counted.

Thirty-six nights of lying here next to him…

I hold back the need to cough and I know he can see me holding it in, smirking at me as if I was an idiot.

His blonde hair spread against the concrete and his chest rising and falling, a desperate, sharp breath through his teeth.

I couldn't help but watch him; it was part of my daily routine, a part I looked forward too, and a part that made me feel at ease.

His stomach sank and he breathed out, a satisfied sigh escaping his lips.

"You ever wish we could stay up here?" I asked him.

I saw him smile to himself, a laugh escape his lips. "Forever."

His Irish drawl. Something that used to irritate me to no end but now had the comfort of lying in your own linen or showering in our own shower.

I tried to hold back my own smile, not wanting to show him just how much his simple words made me feel. "Would it be selfish of us?"

Scorpius rolled over to look at me in the eye. "When you have nothing to care about it ends up being all about yourself."

I had something to care about now. This wasn't about _myself_ any more It was about him. And now I feel more selfish than I had ever before.


	2. 1: You win some, you lose some

**Chapter One**

 _You win some, you lose some. And then some just never come back._

 _In which nothing has changed but everything has changed. But no one had the guts to tell me._

The room looked exactly the same as it had when we left. I don't know what I was expecting, maybe some major change now that we are Fifth years or even some sort of banner above my bed to say congratulations for being the new Gryffindor Prefect but alas, nothing. I would have to get at Molly for that one as she did not mention that there would be absolutely no perks to being the Gryffindor Prefect!

I look around the room and realise that Belle had been and gone. Belle McKinnon was supposed to be my best friend yet, she could not contain her stomach and had already ditched me for the Kitchens with Lorcan Scamander-Longbottom. I would have to get back at her for this as well. A few exchanged words after months of nothing was not enough for me, I needed my best friend.

I dump my own trunk at the foot of my bed and notice Nina Jordan's trunk and Daisy Scott-Wilson's trunk too and internally thank Merlin that neither of them are here to jump on my back and cripple me like they do every year.

Huh, this really was just another year, wasn't it? No special changes around the school, it really was just another day in the Gryffindor Common Room.

I hear a high pitched scream and the sound of feet coming up the stairs. There was only one more trunk left to occupy the last bed and I could tell that scream even if I was in London.

It was like she was talking in slow motion. Each word out of that pretty white toothed mouth of hers pronounced perfectly. Zoe had always been so perfect. Her blonde hair was magical like it never had any type of straightening enchantment placed on it because it _was_ enchanted.

She threw a long arm in the air as she described what I think was to be a romantic day out on the lake but I knew Malfoy better, he didn't have a single romantic bone in his body.

Her browny, greeny, yellowy – whatever colour they are – demon eyes were framed perfectly with those long, dark lashes _and did she just mention love?_

I smile at her and try and bat my own long lashes but for some reason it just made me feel stupid. Was I really trying to compete our lashes against each other?

She's telling me some ratchet story about how it turned from a Summer crush to some sort of sex-fest.

Ok, I am exaggerating, but she did mention the word... dare I think it... _Love_.

Zoe loosened her tie as if just the mere thought of her Summer was going to make her sweat. Her cheeks turned pink – she was seriously blushing in my presence as she told me about how _sweet_ he was. Gag.

I wasn't listening though and I try my hardest to continue not to listen but at least to appear like I was. I tried to think of a memory that would at least make me smile but not laugh and definitely not make me want to vomit because I need to appear like I care about what she is saying without having to listen about Zoe Fortescue and Scorpius Malfoy having some sort of illicit affair.

Is it an illicit affair if neither of you have partners?

Just the mention of his name makes me purse my lips and I feel a whole lot like my mother with my serious face on. The one I have seen so many times when Hugo and I fight, the same one she uses when Dad comes home a little too drunk after work Social Team Quidditch. Yes this was a fitting facial expression, I had chosen the right choice

I carry on with the serious face and at some point I would say Zoe would have collected enough of the drab Hogwarts environment surrounding us to realise we are no longer in the Summer Lust phase and we have moved on to First Term.

So she had better cut it with the sappy love story.

I hear his name mentioned a few more times and I try my very hardest to ignore it. That was all I could do, wasn't it? Pretend like he doesn't exist.

He had pretended I didn't exist for a long time now. It had been months since he had even looked at me. Well, he didn't realise that Rose Granger-Weasley can do the silent treatment much better than anyone else he knows. Hell!, my father practically invented it.

Fourth year had been a weird year but nothing was as weird as what Scorpius had done and there was no way I was going to forgive him.

"So," Zoe starts and I snap my head back her direction and give her my best convincing smile to tell her that yes, your friend has definitely been listening to you the entire time. "the moral of the story is that Scorpius and I are dating."

I inhale sharply and a bit of my own saliva hits the back of my throat. I start coughing. _Dating_? No, there must be a mistake. _He_ does not _date_.

Zoe looks at me like I am crazy but her tiny, little hands start hitting my back. "Shit, Rose, are you ok?"

I nod and I grab my wand out of my pocket and tap a glass on my night stand to have a drink. "Sorry," I say after. "Choked on my own spit."

Had I choked because Scorpius was in a relationship? Surely not. I mean, the git can barely keep a friendship together let alone a relationship. What was this? Serious-Scorpius time? Fifth year is the year people get married? I couldn't understand.

Zoe shakes her head. "You have always had a way with words, Weasley."

" _Granger_ -Weasley," I correct. I always have to correct the idiots around here and especially the ones I have shared a room with for the last five years. "By the way, I don't think that the moral of your story is that you're dating... _him_." Did no one learn anything at school?

The moral of the story was that friends go off and replace friends with girlfriends instead.

Zoe sighs and lies her long body on my bed. "Won't you even say his name?"

Hah! This girl was hilarious. There was no way in hell I was going to even say _his_ name. "He will be like Voldemort by the time we leave this place. _You-Know-Who_."

Zoe rolls her eyes at me. "Well I think it was real brave what he did," she says matter-of-factly. "It takes a lot to stick up to people!"

"People?" I say, not believing what I am hearing. "That _person_ is my boyfriend!"

"Yeah well your boyfriend can be a real prick when it comes to Quidditch.."

Zoe knew she was treading on thin ice because she looks away from me.

If I had a galleon for every person who have told me that my boyfriend was an idiot, I would be so rich I would buy Malfoy's family home ten times over. "He is just real passionate about Quidditch..." I say weakly.

"Or maybe just real passionate about calling people Death Eaters?" she says with a shrug.

I scowl. "Look, he didn't mean it..."

"I'm sure he didn't but it really made Scorp mad."

Scorp? Since when did Zoe call him Scorp? Were roles reversed here? Was she his new best friend?

Oh no, she was probably just shagging him.

"He must be ok, I mean, he was the one, after all, that punched Dion in the nose so badly that there were no spells that could heal it..." I say with a raise of my own eyebrow. "No spell could heal it, Zo. What does that say?"

"It says that you're starting to get all bitchy so I will stop," she says raising her hands in a truce.

I just nod in reply and carry on listening to her, or at least pretend I am listening to her but I am really thinking about how many people still hate my boyfriend.

She starts rambling on about how happy she was and all the fun and exciting things they had done together, and look, he even bought her a bracelet and his parents are so lovely and did I know that his sister has grey eyes exactly like his?

"I'm so happy you're happy, Zo," I say with my largest, craziest grin that even make her step back.

"Look, Rose, he talked about you all summer. I think he misses you."

I laugh to myself. He didn't miss me. Because if he did, I wouldn't have been counting down the months that he hadn't spoken to me.

* * *

They say that Fifth Year is the year Champions are born. Well, _they_ might not say but Freddie definitely did.

Fifth year was the year that James Potter was reborn into a person made to annoy me. Fifth year was the year that Mol had decided to shave her head and the year that Lesath Malfoy had decided it would be the appropriate time to become the sort of person that drove James Potter crazy. Really, these were supposed to be our role models?

Fifth year is the year Champions are born.

Yet here I was in a small shower cubicle in the bathrooms staring at myself. My long, reddish brown hair needed a trim, my blue eyes had bags underneath them and to be honest, I needed a tan. I didn't look like a Champion. I looked like an angrier, underfed, _pale,_ Hermione-looking non-Champion. My Prefects P badge felt so heavy on my chest and it was almost like James was drawn to it. He practically begged to touch it just so he could make fun of me.

Since speaking to Zoe a few hours ago I felt like an obsessed ex-girlfriend thinking about Malfoy all afternoon. I could hear the crunch of Dion's nose against Malfoy's fist and the smug expression when he released the grip on Dion's face. He always had it out for him since third year. I bet he planned the whole thing all along.

But I wasn't an obsessed ex-girlfriend. I was merely an obsessed ex-best-friend who couldn't get over the fact that the Summer didn't hold what I thought it was going to.

It reminded me of the time in third year where Al and Scorp followed me around all day trying to get me in trouble. Shit, those were good times.

Six months of nothing. Six months of no owls, no visits and especially no phone calls which was good because every time he rung my home phone he would yell at me for a good solid thirty minutes and turn me deaf.

I laugh to myself and I feel even crazier than before. I need to cut out these weird crazy-lady laughing fits because I do not need to seem weirder than usual.

Six months of no owls. I try to put it down to his owl being dead.

Or his phone being disconnected.

Or he broke his fingers so he couldn't write. But that can't be it because according to Zoe, he had amazing fingers, he just hadn't had a chance to use them.

* * *

"It disgusts me how many Prefects there are in this house. I mean look, P, P, P's everywhere. And where am I? Sitting up in the Quidditch stands being the commentator. That is literally my claim to fame!" Belle moans at the table.

James shakes his head, "Look here McKinnon, that big P sitting over there!" he points his fork across the table at his younger brother, "He doesn't belong to this house and his P actually stands for Priss!"

Al just scowls and flicks his toast crust at James. "Bud, tell this dick-head to piss off!"

I shrug, not wanting to get involved with these twos argument because every time I do I end up being the one who gets in trouble. "Not getting involved."

"Oh sorry, McKinnon. It doesn't stand for Priss. It stands for Pussy!"

Al goes to stand up to attack his brother but Hugo stops him. "Don't you think that if it annoyed you that much you would go and sit at your own table?"

I smile at Hugo and he just rolls his eyes at me as if to say he does not know how we are even related to these people.

Belle also looks at me and says; "How do you deal with this every single day of your life?"

I don't even know how to answer that question but before I can reply Dion comes over and sits down next to me.

Dion wasn't as bad as people thought he was. He had a good sense of humour and loved Quidditch which was good enough for me. Actually the fact that he really, really loved Quidditch was his biggest problem.

He grinned at me and pulled the hood off his short brown hair. I hear several _"ugghs"_ and Albus stood; "I'm going to find Scorp," he says as he lifts his foot over the form.

Belle frowns and looks up and down the table and then behind her to the Slytherin table. "Where is he?" she asks.

Al shrugs. "I don't know. He hasn't been coming down for lunches."

"What about breakfasts?" she asks.

No response from anyone.

Everyone looks down the table to Zoe and she just shrugs. "What?"

"Well, where's your boyfriend?" James asks.

"I don't know!" she says. "I mean, I don't have a roster on when he eats!"

Al gives her a look as if to say she should. "Well make one, Fortescue!"

I hold Dion's hand but I wonder where Malfoy is. It has now been day three of him not being down here with us when we eat and I am starting to worry that he had taken up some weird diet of not eating now. I know it is stupid because Malfoy likes nothing more than a nice thick slice of jam toast.

"Where is he off to?" Molly asks throwing her thumb over her shoulder. "Off to find his husband?"

James laughs. "Yeah. What class do we have next, Mol?"

Molly pulls out a small piece of paper with a few words scribbled roughly on it. Oh boy, her dad was going to kill her. Uncle Percy did not like a disorganised mind.

"Charms. Why isn't Malfoy here?" she asks the group.

Dion sighs behind me and I turn my attention back to him. "I will never like that git," he mutters under his breath but James heard him.

"Wouldn't say that too loud around here, mate. These Potters and Weasleys can't help but love him."

I give James a nudge in the ribs. "Speak for yourself."

Dion shakes his head at me. "I don't know how you two were even mates."

"I know, traitorous bastards, the lot of them!" James says egging him on.

Sometimes I wonder how we were friends for so long. It was always Malfoy, Al and I and now all it is is Al trying to spread himself around like some sort of giant squid with a million tentacles. It can be easy. Or fun.

"He didn't make Prefect," Mol says. "He told me this morning."

This time the juice I am drinking sprays all over the place and over Dion which earns me a disgusted look as he grabs his wand out to clean up. "Shit, Rose. What was that about?"

I try to at least look like that information didn't surprise me but I couldn't hold it back. "What? But he is top of all classes."

"Second only to you. So I am told. By you all the damn time," says Belle.

I shoot her a glare, "You always have the jokes don't you Belle?"

"I try," she says with an air of nonchalance, "At least my shoot downs will turn Al off me."

James sniggers, "I think they actually turn him on in a weird way."

Dion smirks too and it must be true: every guy wants a woman they can't have because Belle says her interests are in girls. But we are not so sure.

The bell rings and everyone gets off the table except for Dion and I, I turn to kiss him lightly on the lips. "I feel like I haven't seen you in ages," he says.

It was true, after spending every day together during the holidays it had been weird to only see each other during tea breaks and after classes before curfew.

"Well I have a free period this afternoon, if you want to meet in the Library?"

He tries to smile at me like sure, he may be interested in the library but the light turned off in his eyes so something is telling me no...

"How about the Quidditch pitch?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No way, I need to study. It's OWLs this year so I can't skip any chance of studying."

"Wow," he says. "You really are your mother's daughter aren't you?"

As much as people like to joke that I am my mother's daughter, I did not see anything remotely funny about studying or lack thereof.

Shit, I _was_ my mother's daughter.

"I don't really have time for Quidditch today..." I say almost in a whisper as if not to hurt his feelings.

But the look on his face was like I had just Avada'd him.

"My brother won't let us rest until we get some practice in!" he said loudly. "Simon really wants to win this year because this will be the difference between him being signed or not."

Touching story, really, but I truly did not care to do something because someone's brother will benefit from it. "I'm sure Simon will understand."

Simon Wood would definitely not understand.

Dion knows he is defeated so he just leans back on the table. "What classes do you have?"

I look at my timetable. Double Potions this morning. Shit. "Potions?" I say.

Double Potions means Potions with Scorpius. And now that Al only takes single potions that means I will be stuck with Malfoy for a whole two hours.

"With Malfoy?" he asks.

"Maybe."

"But you won't have to work with him, will you?"

I shrug. "Maybe, since we're both the top of Potions we might have to."

Dion doesn't seem impressed by this, but leans in for another kiss anyway and one on my cheek. "I'll see you for our free period," he says.

That's if I make it out of Potions alive.

* * *

I could barely see through the smoking cauldrons when I walked into class. But I could see _him_ as clear as day.

I had even made a half-arsed attempt to find somewhere, _anywhere_ to sit away from him but it failed because every seat was taken. Lorcan and Lysander Scamander-Longbottom both waved at me from behind their cauldrons which earned them both a glare from Professor Ludwig so they both dropped their hands quickly. Note to self: Catch up with Scamander-Longbottoms.

I see the back table empty but there he is, in his Malfoy glory, shining in front of the smoky backdrop.

Part of me wants to go over to him and hug him, the other half wants me to hit him. Either way I had to sit next to him.

I would be lying if I said he hadn't changed over the summer. His usual short hair has grown out and he has some sort of long hairstyle going so he has his blonde hair tied up at the very top of his head. His jaw was sharper and he seemed even broodier. Was that even a thing? Were all fifteen year olds so unhappy?

I take a deep breath to try and prep myself for the long walk over to the other side of the room to where I will have to sit, the deep breath was a mistake because I took a huge whiff of whatever was brewing in the cauldron at Ludwig's desk making me choke. Great, I have almost died of choking twice today.

I get over to the table and stand there. I feel like maybe I expect something to happen. For the stars to align, for Scorpius to look at me and say sorry, for him to pull out my chair as some sort of truce. But nothing.

My hair falls in my eyes and my bag drops next to him but still nothing.

I stare at him.

I feel like shouting, _'Hello after six months! How has it been living under a rock for so long? How did you cope with your owl dying and your fingers breaking?'_

But instead I stand there and before I get accused of having an eye problem I pull the chair out and sit down.

My quill and ink well are the next best things to make me look less crazy so I grab them out.

I feel my face turning red, my hands starting shaking a bit because even though I am standing here I realise something.

I am the one angry at him, it should not be the other way around, but if Fifth year is going to be the one where Champions are made, I need to try.

So I take another breath and turn to face him though his nose is buried so far into his book it isn't funny.

"Hey," I say simply.

"Weasley."

Shit.

It carries on like this for a further hour-thirty and it is like I am sitting on the very edge of my seat, it is like I can't even breathe just in case he glares at me. I could hear the scratching of his quill, as if he is actually writing something. I know better, Scorpius Malfoy doesn't take notes.

It's like he is doing everything in his power to avoid me. He leans on his fist with his elbow on the table and looks in the opposite direction. Like I had some sort of bad smell. I check quickly that it is not due to a bad smell.

I sigh, this was ridiculous. Was he going to look at that wall forever? I wish he would, I could test him and see if he will. Then he would look like an idiot who has wasted his life away staring at the wall.

I smile to myself which makes Belle look at me from the desk over and frown. I just shake my head at her.

I hate being caught out like this. I try not to stare at Malfoy too much but it feels so weird to be right here next to him but not talking.

We used to sit in here every day and laugh, Ludwig would hate us for it but Malfoy would always just shrug it off, " _live a little_." he would say.

Live a little? How about sit in awkward silence for ages and then make me feel like I am sitting next to a brick?

I start scowling to myself because this was not how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to say sorry to me and then we would go back to sitting together in classes, Al would be happy to have us all back together again and then Dion would forgive Malfoy because he actually preferred the new shape of his nose. It wasn't supposed to be like this!

And now I feel stupid for even thinking things would be like that because I have never come across even one person grateful for someone giving them a new nose.

I shake my head and look over at Malfoy and I cannot believe my eyes. Looking over his shoulder I can see at least a foot of notes. Like _actual_ notes. Stuff that might actually be relevant towards his OWLs this year. Where was the Malfoy we all knew and loved who used to write lyrics to crappy songs he listened to and tried to pass them off as creative writing?

Part of my heart swells that he has finally taken my advice, after four long years of laughing in my face when I used to write a foot more than anyone else, he has finally turned a new leaf (out of my book may I add) and started taking notes.

The other part of my heart drops when I look up at Ludwig standing at our table with a huge, toothless grin. "Well done, Scorpius. With those notes you might be heading up to first place in this class!"

I see Malfoy's face. A small but still lop sided smile appeared while he actually looked at me for the first time. Obviously wanting to make sure that I had heard all of that.

Well I had and he didn't need to give me that smug look of his when he couldn't even form a proper sentence to me anymore.

The more we sit in silence the more irritated I get. Malfoy and I will be spending a further four subjects together and in every one of those god forsaken classes, we sit together. I don't know how much more I can take of this but it would definitely be worth the money if I invested some in to swapping seats with someone.

We find out that tomorrow we will be doing practical work which I am glad for because at least I can use my hands instead of dreaming they're wrapped around Malfoy's neck. I hurry to grab my things and shove them all in my bag, almost dying when I grab a big chunk of my school skirt in the process and lifting it with my bag, hence lifting my skirt high. Malfoy smiles to himself again and still doesn't meet my gaze, putting his quill behind his ear and rolling up his papers to put in his bag.

I am embarrassed that he saw me lift my skirt and he definitely notices that my hair is a mess and he hasn't apologised for being a git.

I slam my hand on the table. "By the way, it's _Granger_ -Weasley, Malfoy!" I correct him for his curt greeting at the start of class.

He just nods at me with that stupid look on his face. "I know."

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hey guys, please read and review. I will try and stick to a schedule of a chapter a week, most likely Wednesday nights (Australian time). Please remember to review! And thus encouraging me to keep going. Reviews are the money that I am not receiving to write. Love you all for reviewing!

A shout out to my Beta, Bekah: StupendousMysticWerewolf, please read her story too! And also Angie.


	3. 2: Welcome, my friends, to the new world

**Chapter Two**

 _Welcome, my friends, to the new world._

 _The world in which my ex-best-friend is a mute_

* * *

For a big guy, he had soft hands.

They ran over my arms, down my back and around the small of my back to touch the skin between my shirt and the start of my skirt. He had soft lips which smiled against mine as he kissed me.

Fifth year was turning out to be the year of new things. All type of new things.

Did you know that down past the Hufflepuff dungeons there was a broom cupboard? Well I didn't until Dion showed me.

He kissed me on the neck. I had never had someone kiss me there and now I know why Belle goes on and on about neck kisses. Al had told her once she had the best neck he had ever seen and he wanted to kiss her there. He got hit hard that day with at least three different hexes. One after the other.

Dion's hands crept to my thighs, wow, was this normal?

I grabbed his hand before it went even further than it was and pulled away. Fifth year was moving too fast for me.

He sighed against my neck and moved away. His dark brown eyes boring into mine and his forehead against my chin. "Shit Rose," was all he managed as he pulled away from me.

I shrugged not really knowing what else to do. Do I apologise? I decide against apologising, it wasn't really the situation you apologise for was it.

I straighten my school shirt and the P on my chest and I can see the disappointment in Dion's eyes. "Shall we go?" I ask him.

He nods and grabs my hand before we walk out of the cupboard.

Not really the romantic setting I had dreamed of.

"We have Ravenclaw up first, and then it goes from there. Simon seems to think that James is the secret weapon this year," Dion starts and I hold back a snort.

"James has always been more than the secret weapon," I say quickly. "Your brother knows that."

"Sure, a few people may have told him he is the best seeker since his father but that doesn't warrant people saying he is the best in the team."

But he _was_ the best in the team.

I don't comment on this since the Woods' were not going to budge when it came to Quidditch. Rumour has it that Simon Wood was once caught snogging a Quaffle in said broom cupboard last year.

I try and shake the image of Dion's brother with his tongue in the dents of a Quaffle when I hear someone calling out to me.

"Bud, please save me from these two idiots!," Belle shouts from the main entrance. Behind her was Lysander and Lorcan Scamander-Longbottom.

I smile at her and let go of Dion's hand to meet her half way and save her from said idiots though I will always have a soft spot for the twins. I had known those two since they were kids and the fact that Uncle Neville had adopted them after their dad went missing on some hunting trip when they were one made them practically family.

Belle looks relieved when she got to me and threw her arms around me. Merlin, was I the only person who didn't grow over the summer? Because Belle was a whole head taller than me now. I would be the size of Flitwick against Hagrid if all these people kept growing.

I look around to see Dion coming up behind me and Belle scowls. "Who invited the snitch head?" she whispers.

I hit her lightly on the arm. She never did like him. To the point where she said that she would rather stuff her mouth with soap than have to engage in a proper conversation with him. To say that Belle McKinnon was drama queen would be an understatement.

"Belle, come on. Don't be so mean to us!" Lorcan moans.

Lorcan and Lysander were those two people that everyone seems to be friends with but no one truly understands them. I remember back when we were kids my parents would drag Hugo and I to go and visit them and dad always appeared to have so much fun in the presence of his mother that he would fall asleep. Dad did however like their dad Neville and I guess he had as much fun talking to Neville about plants as he did in the presence of Luna... They had both inherited her _weirdness_ but if there was one lesser weirdo, it would have to be Lorcan.

Both Lorcan and Lysander looked so much like their mother it wasn't funny. They even had long, blonde hair like her. Those blue eyes that make you feel like maybe they're not actually focusing on you, yet they were both extremely tall.

In fact, I am not so convinced that they _aren't_ their mother dressed as a dude.

"For the last time Lysander! I am not going with you into that freaky-arse forest so you can go and find shit that could potentially kill us! Honestly, did you not learn anything from your biological father? Or even your dad? I mean he deals with plants that literally have a thirst for his blood. _Plants_ , Scamander-Longbottom!"

The twins just look at each other and shrug. "I'm Lorcan."

That earns a scene from my best friend and she throws her hands up in defeat. "The two hottest boys in school and yet not a brain in between them."

"Am I hearing this? Could I possibly be the one to convert Belle McKinnon?" Lysander says raising an eyebrow.

I just shake my head at all of them. All of this shouting and for what? For Lysander to have some sort of fantasy of Belle falling for him. We all have our suspicions that Belle may be more easily persuaded if the right guy came around.

Dion starts laughing. "You guys training? We have Ravenclaw up first so I really hope that Gibbs has been training you lot."

Lorcan laughs at Dion, like this is the funniest thing that he has ever heard. "Not so much training as in mentally preparing ourselves. We have group sessions where we discuss the game play."

"Discuss? What about physical training?"

"How about where we just don't talk about Quidditch all. The. Time!" Belle says.

Dion just glares at her. "Have you always been so nasty? Or is that something that you acquired when you became a year older?"

Belle glares back. "Well I see that sixth year hasn't really made you acquire anything."

Dion turns to me and kisses me lightly on the lips before walking away and shouts over his shoulder; "See you in the common room!"

"I bet we'll get back to the common room and he has his tongue wrapped around a snitch," says Belle.

Lorcan looks back at Belle. "You sure know how to slaughter a man, don't you?"

Belle gives Lorcan a smirk. "If I didn't knock him down a few notches then our friend here," she holds out her hand to me, "Would be stuck here with Quidditch on the mind."

I sure did get annoyed at all the Quidditch talk but Belle knew that and she liked using it against me. "You're over exaggerating," I mutter.

Belle gives me a look of mock shock. "Exaggerating? Me? Never!" she says sarcastically.

She leans against the wall and her long black hair was nearly down to her waist. I see that I am not the only one in awe of her hair because Lysander actually takes a step forward to reach out and...

She whacks his hand away.

Belle was beautiful with her long black hair and sun kissed skin and those eyes that always made me feel I was staring a little too long because God, that _green_. Despite the very nice outer layer, Belle was the most sarcastic and straight forward girl you could find here in the castle of Hogwarts. I would put money on Belle if there was a fight between her and Scorpius because I do not doubt for one minute that she would win. She always shrugs it off and says that's what happens when you grow up with three older brothers. I agree because Aunt Ginny is proof.

"Seriously? I don't even know how you two are alive with all the weird shit you two do," I say to Lysander.

Lysander turns red and steps back. "You have beautiful eyes too, Bella."

"My name is not _Bella_ , my name is not McKinnon. It is Belle," she says through her teeth.

Even when trying to get the twins to back off she flicks her hair and her skin glows. How was it that she got so tanned over the summer and I am paler now than I was in the winter?

"My chances of getting with a Gryffindor this year are quite slim. I have done the calculations," Lorcan says with a frown, looking seriously beaten. "Belle is out of bounds, you are too Bud," he says pointing at me. "Nina and Daisy don't even know I exist and well, Zoe seemed quite busy in the Ravenclaw broom cupboard."

I feel my mouth drop and it takes me a long time to pick it up. I see Belle is having the same issue with her mouth too. "Broom cupboard? With who?"

With _who_?

 _With who?_

Could I look more like an idiot? Belle looks at me sideways as if she knows I am trying to play it off cool and Lorcan just hold his hand up like surely I should now Zoe has a new boyfriend.

I feel myself turning red because I know exactly who they were referring to.

"Scorpius? You know him? The dude that used to follow you everywhere?" I try to pinpoint the sarcasm in Lysander's voice but I don't detect it. The guy was seriously trying to tell me who Scorpius Malfoy was. I guess I don't know who he was any more.

"Don't know who you're talking about," I say childishly.

Belle continues to roll her eyes at me and punches me on the arm. "Yeah, and I am gifted in crystal ball readings."

"Well that is great! We need more crystal ball readers around!" I reply.

Lysander smiles at us both. "Better go and check on dad to make sure that the blood thirsty plants of his haven't eaten him," he says with a wink.

Both him and Lorcan wave at us and walk out the door towards the greenhouses.

"If I had to choose a dude," Belle says watching the twins walk away. "I would choose him; at least he has a sense of humour."

"I wonder if that was humour or he was serious..."

Belle knits her eyebrows. "I wonder too."

We head off towards the Gryffindor Tower in relative silence but I have known Belle for five years, there is no silence that doesn't lead up to a full on ear full from her. And she just admitted that she has considered choosing a guy. I am going to store that one in the memory bank.

* * *

Sometimes I wish I could just float away and have no worries in the world.

Either that or I wish I was deaf.

I laid on my bed with my pillow over my face. Everything still buzzed around me, life did not stop and sure as hell Zoe and Belle didn't stop yelling at Albus who was standing at the bottom of the stairs yelling up because he couldn't get up here without the stairs collapsing underneath him and he might crack his head again. To think that James actually tried it a further three times before he would even believe what we had said and needed the confirmation of three teachers. And they say he's Harry Potter's son.

Life had not slowed down, in fact, it was faster than ever. Double Potions, Charms, Care of Magical Creatures – and Astronomy absolutely killed me. And Molly had lied to me and told me being a Prefect would be fun. Stupid liar.

The afternoon sun stung my eyes as Belle stood above me holding the pillow that was supposed to be sheltering me from the world. "Get up, Rosebud. The idiot wants you. Your cousin."

My cousin? There could be a million of them lined up down there waiting for me but after hearing Albus yelling upstairs I decide to help Belle out a bit.

"Be more specific," I say trying to reach up and grab the pillow off her. "I have a few," I say sarcastically.

Belle shakes her head. "Oh hah-hah. Very funny," she holds out her hand for me to grab. "Just go and tend to him please."

There was not even an ounce of me that could summon up the energy to lift myself off this bed. Maybe if I just stayed here McGonagall wouldn't notice that I was missing and I could stay here forever. What if I put a wig on Hugo and he could pass as me. Or even Lily, she would just have to gain a dress size.

Belle saunters off to start her homework and I finally get up and try to find my school tie. Zoe is sitting at her desk facing away from me and even my rushing around doesn't make her turn around to look at me. Usually she would be hanging off my legs trying to get information out of me about anything but she was actually working. She held her quill as if she was actually writing with it.

She _actually_ had her quill _touching_ the paper.

I shout out bye to her and she drops her quill and says; "Wait!"

I turn to look at Zoe and she seemed a bit off... like she had been hiding something but if there was one thing I had learned about sharing a room with girls for five years was that there were no secrets among girls.

"You ok, Zo?" has snogging Malfoy given you any diseases yet?

Zoe gives me a small smile and reaches out to grab my hand. "I know Al is pissed at me."

I widen my eyes. Albus was pissed at Zoe? No way. Al was never pissed at anyone. Maybe that explained the shouting up the stairs. He wanted to kill her.

Ok, too far?

"Why would Al be mad at you?"

Zoe looks down at her shoes, Merlin, she really didn't want to talk about it. "Because," she says quietly as she looks out of the dorm room door as if Al would all of a sudden spring out and catch her talking to me. "He thinks it's my fault that Scorp hasn't been spending time with him."

My eyes remain wide as I look back at Zoe. The expression on her face tells me I am supposed to say something that makes her feel better but what do I say to this?

It confirmed something though. At least I wasn't the only one he wasn't speaking to. Maybe he's turned full-Malfoy and isn't speaking to any of my family?

That does sound like something he would do. Typical Malfoy, being some sort of broody self-centred git.

Zoe can tell I have drifted off in my head as usual and snaps her fingers. "It's not my fault, honestly. I only see him in the evenings anyways…" she turns red.

I can practically smell the shame coming off her very red cheeks, "Don't worry about it! I'll sort Al out." I say with a smile.

I run down the steps and almost trip on my feet when I see Al standing there with his arms crossed and tapping his foot. "God, could you have taken any longer? We have rounds together and I am not going to let you be the reason why I have to clean blackboards with Flint."

I grin at Al knowing that he would love nothing more than to be stuck in a room with that troll for two hours.

Belle sits on the common room couch and I can see she is talking to Frank Longbottom about something, her long black hair swaying as she uses her arms to emphasise the story she is telling at the moment.

Al watches her as we walk out of the Common Room. "She has to be the best looking evil person there has been. Ever."

We keep walking down the corridor and the last of the people that were in the Great Hall for dinner start leaving. I had asked for Belle to get me something to snack on later as I left dinner earlier than usual knowing that I would have to head off for Rounds with Al.

Al shoves his hand in his pockets and looks over at me. "Last night when i did rounds with Maree we caught three Ravenclaws trying to set off dungbombs in their own tower toilets. And they say they're the clever ones?"

I laugh and turn to keep up with Al. "Do you have Herbology tomorrow?"

Al nods. "Yeah and the worst part is, I have it with Lorc and Lysander too. Oh and Scorp too... I guess."

"What do you mean by ' _I guess_ '? Trouble in paradise?" I tease.

Al scoffs. "The idiot doesn't even come to classes with me anymore. And he sits by himself all day. Last night at training he didn't even yell at Aleksander like he usually would. He _listened_ to him. He used his ears and _listened_ to him, Rose. He must be sick."

Aleksander Parkinson-Krum was the bane of Malfoy's existence when it comes to Quidditch. And he wasn't even the Slytherin Captain.

"So not coping with the break up well, are we?" I say with smirk which earned me a nudge in the ribs.

"He's changed, Rose. Can't even joke with him anymore without him getting pissy. Remember when he used to always take the piss out of people? Well now he just lies on his bed all the time."

"I don't blame him, his bed is comfy," I say with a shrug. Al just stares at me. "What?" I say, "When I used to come and visit _you_ and sit on his bed."

He just nods to himself as if it makes sense. "Hmm."

We get up to the Ravenclaw Tower and as usual the corridors were dead.

Al obviously cannot believe what he is seeing because he starts looking around; "What the hell? Last night it was not like this!"

"Sure. _Whatever_ you say, Al," I say and pat him on the back.

"I never really thought of Scorp as a Zoe Fortescue type of guy, I thought he would be more of a Belle McKinnon type..."

"You wonder what type he goes for?"

He just grins. "No, not really. It's just that everyone is a Belle McKinnon type."

"You know she's my best friend, right?"

"And that is why you should help me win her!"

I roll my eyes."Don't even go there."

"Scorp spends all his time with Zoe so she must be his type."

"She did say that you don't like her any more because of that."

Al sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Never thought I would see the day where he would pick Zoe Fortescue over irritating the Scamander-Longbottoms... mind you, he doesn't really spend that much time with her. She only comes into our dorm at like ten at night."

"Where is he before that then?" I ask.

Al shrugs. "Don't know. Studying?"

We keep walking up and down the corridors doing nothing. Like I have said a million times, Molly was the biggest liar in the family. Prefect's are fun my arse.

Al flings his arm over my shoulder and leans his head on me. "I missed you, Rosebud," he says.

"Well I didn't miss you, not with your brother living with us during the holidays now. He is just like you but more annoying."

"And uglier. I wish your mum and dad would adopt me too... James is just being dramatic."

He was of course referring to the fact that James had turned up at our house the summer holidays after third year and never left since. Mum and dad sat Hugh and I down to explain that James would be staying with us from now on due to "differences" as if James or Al wouldn't tell me that it was because James was a loose cannon most of the time.

"You don't want them to adopt you or you would be subject to my mum's evening meetings or having to watch my dad play Social Quidditch every Saturday."

Al just shrugs as if it didn't sound too bad to him. "Either way it has been so boring without you Bud. And Scorp isn't budging about the fight between him and Danny.'

"-Dion," I correct.

"Yeah I know."

"Look, I know what Dion did was shitty -"

"More than shitty," Al says. "He called Scorp and his dad Death Eaters _and,_ "he adds seeing that I was about to say something. "He said that Scorp was a slut for getting with heaps of girls and said he has diseases. Does Dion actually have any come backs that are worthwhile? Because I must say that is a shit comeback. And I thought it was _Simon_ Wood that was the idiot, I am wrong."

I just look at Al defeated. I didn't even know what to say. "Scorp _is_ a slut because he _does_ get with a lot of girls..."

"Seriously? That is what you got? You and Dion obviously learned your comebacks at the same place. "

What could I say? Nothing was going to change what happened at that Quidditch match. Scorpius punched Dion until he was unrecognisable. "Scorp beat him within an inch of his life."

"And he deserved it!"

"Yeah but - "

"But you had to choose between them. I get it. You have a loyalty to your boyfriend, just as I have a loyalty to my best friend."

"He was mine too," I say sadly with a frown. Al can tell I feel defeated about this and pulls me closer.

"No more late night visits to the lake I guess. No more trying to sneak to the floo network to floo Teddy," Al can see he's not improving my mood. "I'm sorry for being a sad-sap. We're not even two weeks into the year, he'll come around. We're only fifteen! Don't worry about it."

I could always count on Al to make me feel better. "Thanks," I mumble.

"That means I still have another two years to convince Belle to be my girlfriend, what do you think my chances are? Another two years to get Scorp to talk to you."

"Well, fifth year is the year Champions are made..."

If there is even a remote chance of getting my old mate back, I would think myself a Champion.

* * *

Al walks me back to the Gryffindor Tower before heading back off to the dungeons. As we get to the Fat Lady she swings forward and Malfoy steps out with his hands deep in his pockets and his hair a mess.

He just looks up and gives a small smile. "Off mate?" Al asks. "I'll come with you."

Scorpius nods and puts a cigarette in his mouth that he got out of his pockets. "Off for a fag first," he says with a shrug. "You coming?"

I stare at both of them, my head darting Al to Scorp and shaking my head. Al was not going to partake in this rubbish! "No!" I snap. "You're not giving Al one of those _things_!" I say.

Oh how very prefect of me.

Al snorts and shakes his head. "I'm just going to go for a walk!" he moans. "Don't turn all mum on me."

I realise why Malfoy was leaving the Gryffindor Tower and I feel stupid. Some stupid part of my brain didn't register that he had dropped off Zoe.

They both turn to leave and I speak up, "Wait!" I say.

Both of them turn around and it's those stupid grey eyes that get me.

"What?" Al says.

I stand in silence. Maybe the Fat Lady will shut on me and I could disappear.

I hear that voice, that accent that annoys me so much. "G'night, _Granger_ -Weasley," _he_ says. _His_ grey eyes boring into me.

I couldn't even get the balls to say goodnight back. So instead I stand outside of the portrait with my mouth open watching him walk away.

I would rather that than see the smile on Zoe's face when I got in.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** _Hey guys! Please, if you're reading this, REVIEW! It would be so very much appreciated and will keep me motivated to carry on. A shout out to StupendousMysticWerewolf, follow and read her stories too. Otherwise follow me on tumblr under Weheartscorose and read my drabbles. Don't forget to review! - Cara_

 ** _Preview:_**

Al laughs and slaps me on the leg. "See!" he says loudly. "We know all about it. People should pay us to give relationship advice!"

"Yeah, two fifteen year olds, one with some girl he spent time with over the holidays and the other a Prefect with no girlfriend, I think we may be _over_ qualified in fact," I say rolling my eyes to myself.


	4. 3: Someone turned the lights back on

**Chapter Three**

 _Scorpius_

 _Someone turned the light back on_

 _But didn't tell me nothing would have changed in the meantime._

* * *

Sometimes it the really early morning – and I mean _really_ early morning – I hear that satisfying burn when I light my smoke. It's like the crinkling of plastic or the burning of leaves. When I hear that sound, that's what I live for. There is nothing more satisfying than my morning ciggie.

Or my morning piss.

I left the dorm and no one noticed. No one has noticed for the last three weeks, not even Al had noticed but nothing can disturb that guy at four in the morning, not even McKinnon if she came up to our dorm in nothing but Slytherin colours strategically placed on her body. Al was a heavy sleeper and there was nothing more to it than that.

It turns out that not even teachers are around at this time of the morning. The saying is early bird gets the worm though dad always said I was up earlier than that – I was up with the first light of the Phoenix. Some things never changed.

Some things never _ever_ change. Some things you want to change so badly but they never will. Like you want a certain red head to stop being so stubborn but some things never change.

The lake was frosted over yet they say we're just out of summer. Summer felt like it came and went and there was no in between. No autumn, no spring. Summer lingers as much as it can, the sun comes out for a while but we will get winter back sooner than we thought because Merlin doesn't pay refuge to the needy.

The satisfying sound of my wand burning the tip of the ciggies I had stolen from my sister makes me smile to myself and I must remember that no matter how much my sister fucks me off this term, I must pay her back.

Or someone's rather large mouth might go narking to dad.

Huh, even though I am alone out here I still snigger to myself out loud and shake my head. _Dad_.

 _Dad?_

The idiot who was found dick-deep in Vera Wilkes a fellow Healer.

I run a hand through my hair and I feel like pulling. Lesath can try her damn hardest to ignore what was going on at home but I couldn't forget our mum crying at the kitchen table or the way dad moves so quietly around the house it's like he's not even there. But I've seen the way he looks at Lee and I and he _isn't_ there.

The great Draco Malfoy, the anti-hero, great Healer of St. Mungos, Head of Severely Altered Minds Unit. Father of two. Cheater of one.

It almost makes me feel like a dunce that I had always looked up to my dad. Maybe people have been right all along; maybe he has always been a spineless prick.

I watch the smoke form patterns in the air. I spent one half of my summer watching the smoke escape my mouth. I spent the other half having Zoe Fortescue occupy that very same mouth, so all in all, a successful summer.

Hah, Rose had always told me that Gryffindor's had to watch what came out of their mouths. Zoe didn't have anything remotely worth discussing over tea when she opened hers but she sure knew how to use it.

Shit.

Rose.

I physically shake my head. How many times did my thoughts have to betray me or relate everything back to her?

Everyone in my life is a traitorous bastard right from my best friend to my father. I couldn't trust anyone. Merlin, before I know it Al will have turned on me. No one would be here for old Scorpius Malfoy.

It had been a long seven months of not talking to her but what was there to talk about anymore? _Hey Rose, my father cheated on my mother, by the way, how are Ron and Hermione? Still living in domestic bliss no doubt?_

Maybe she would talk back; she would tell me all about her Minister of Magic mother and her father who has the coolest job in the world at a joke shop. Maybe she would find the effort to remove her hip from Dion Wood's side and forgive me for fashioning him a new nose.

Better yet, she will dump the idiot and find someone new.

Hell, it was just easier not to talk these days. No one wants to hear the story about how Dion Wood deserved a thrashing and I was neck deep in family worries, after all, no one cares about the Malfoys.

Or how if I don't actually do anything worthwhile this year in OWLs I won't be that Healer I want to be following after my perfect father's footsteps.

"Not exactly sure what you're doing, Malfoy but I don't think you should be doing it..."

I pull myself up off the tree and look over to the voice. That blonde hair I would recognise anywhere and the vacant expression on his face. Fuck, the last thing I needed this early in the morning was to deal with a Scamander-Longbottom.

"You want one?" I ask Lorcan as he approaches me, offering him a smoke. The look on his face tells me that he is considering it.

So very Slytherin of me to be the one to corrupt a Scamander-Longbottom.

Lorcan reaches out for one and eyes it carefully, slowly putting into his mouth and I can practically hear his gagging and coughing now. I hold back a smirk. This will be great.

Lorcan eyes me suspiciously and places the stick between his lips; "Let me light it," I say to him and I place my wand against the smoke.

That satisfying crackling sounds again and just as I suspected, he chokes. "Shit!" he says.

"You'll get used to it."

I watch him puff away and eye his ciggie like it is some sort of amazing contraption. "What you doing out here, Malfoy?" he asks. "You enjoy watching the sunrise too?"

I raise my eyebrows and have to keep myself from saying anything that might offend the guy. "The sunrise was like an hour ago."

Lorcan shrugs. "Mum says that's not the true sunrise..."

Mum seems a bit crazy.

"And what were you doing out here at this time?"

Lorcan steps on the smoke he threw on the ground and stares at it a bit like maybe it would come back to burn him. "Dad," he says simply.

"Don't tell me he has some weird flower or root that's going to take a limb off us this afternoon because if he does and you're encouraging it, I will never forgive you."

Lorcan starts laughing and shakes his head as if to say that I was being dramatic but he does know that it is fairly common for Neville Longbottom to do something like this, right?

"So, Zoe yeah?" Lorcan says offhandedly.

I nod and look at him sideways; "Yeah..."

He nods in reply. "Only saying because, Lysander really wanted to get with a Gryffindor this year."

"And this involves me how?" I ask.

Could this kid get any weirder? I knew there was a reason why I avoided him.

"Just saying," he says with a shrug.

We stand in silence again and Lorcan decides to speak much to displeasure. "You still hang out with Rose?" he asks.

"Do you see me with her anymore?"

He laughs quietly. "No, I guess not."

I shove my smokes back in my pocket and turn to Lorcan. "I'll see you in class," I say simply.

I couldn't stay around him any longer, especially when everywhere I turn just directs itself back to Rose when I had tried so damn hard to forget over the summer.

* * *

Zoe had been waiting by the main entrance for me for fifteen minutes and the look on her face told me she wasn't used to waiting. Her face didn't look like the type of face people made wait but I was too busy in Charms to rush out.

The way she frowned was sort of cute, her arms folded and her ponytail bobbed up and down as she sighed, shit, it was like she was preparing for a lecture.

Zoe was fun and Zoe also had a way of distracting me over the summer. Her hazel eyes were framed thickly with her dark eye lashes. And well, she had a body that kept me busy all through the summer... she didn't help with the heat.

"Where have you been?" she asks wrapping her arms around my waist.

I lean down to give her a kiss on the lips and she frowns at me. "What? I was catching up with Al down on the pitch and then I had a few things to finish in Charms."

Zoe sighs; "Is that really guys do? Waste time down at the Quidditch pitch? Between you two and Dion..."

I almost choke when she asks me because does she really think I am as dim witted as Dion Wood? "No unlike Dion I actually have more important things to do to occupy my time."

Zoe takes this as a hint towards something else and she smiles at me, all bright eyes and coy. I did like Zoe, she was always excited to try new things and she wasn't shy which made things easier for me. "So these more important things..." she says trailing off.

"I guess anything is more important than anything Wood might have in store."

"Between you and Rose it feels like I'm the one that has to deal with Dion!" she says with a groan.

I shrug and pull her closer to me; the sooner we stopped talking about the idiot, the better. "Who cares anyways," I say with a shrug. "It's not like Rose is going to stop being stubborn any time soon."

"You sound just like her," she replies. "God forbid either of you admit you're wrong."

Well, God wasn't the idiot that deserved a punch to the face now was he?

* * *

"Now I understand why you would prefer to lie in here all day, my bed is terrible," Zoe says quietly.

I traced patterns on her skin slowly. I always envied the way girls would fall over themselves at Aleksander's feet or how sometimes you'd walk down to the common room late at night to head to the toilets and he was in there on the couch with a hot girl, one in particular was Dominique Weasley and Merlin, she knew how to work that Veela blood. Dominique Weasley had a way with words and a particularly morbid outlook on life – quite like Rose really – but she was beautiful and made most guys go a little crazy...

Here I was lying in my bed with the curtains drawn and it was almost like something had instantly changed when we became Fifth years. Fred Weasley always forewarned that Fifth year was the year Champions were born and Rose used to always remind me that when we entered our Fifth year, we would be the Champions.

I know what it feels like to be a Champion now. I had one of the hottest girls in the year right here crowning me a champion.

I looked at my watch and shrugged Zoe off my shoulder who sat up to straighten her bra. "Woah, what's happening?" she asks.

I needed to sleep, I needed a smoke, no matter how many things I tried to occupy my mind with I couldn't. Maybe I could go and see my sister but I doubt she would be as happy to see me as I would be to see her. I missed my mum. I missed Rose.

"Time to go," I say instead. "It's almost midnight."

Before Zoe has a chance to reply my curtains fling back and Al is standing there in nothing but his boxer shorts. "You will never believe what just happened!" he almost yells.

"Albus!" Zoe says as though shocked to see him here. In our Slytherin boys dorm. In his pyjamas. As if this was not a normal occurrence.

Al looks just as shocked as Zoe to be seeing her in the room. "Were you two, you know..."

I roll my eyes. Typical of Al to be like this. "I know...?"

Al moves his head as if to prompt me to keep going. "Having _sex_?"

Zoe opens her mouth as if she had never had been so insulted in her life. "What?" she practically spits. "Of course not!"

She snatches her jersey off the bed and spins on her heels to stare at Al. "One step at a time," she says. "But I guess you wouldn't know since you already want to marry Belle."

With that she slinks out of the dorm.

I lie back on my bed and put my hands behind my back to stare at the ceiling but Al jumps onto the end of my bed and watches me. "Well, that didn't go too well did it?"

"Speak for yourself" I say.

"Scorp, can I ask you something?" he says spreading his legs out on the bed.

I move over to accommodate my mate and laugh at the fact we have always sat like this and now, five years on these beds don't seem so big anymore.

"Yeah."

"What if there was a person you liked who you thought would never like you back but then she catches you chatting up some other girl and well, her face tells me she is fucked off."

I snort, knowing exactly who he was talking about. "Al, leave her alone."

"What?" he nervously laughs, "No, I'm not talking about anyone in particular," he says looking at me seriously and then bursting out laughing.

"Yeah. Sure, whatever you say mate."

Al shrugs and kicks my leg. "Come on, you'll know what I mean when you fall in love."

"And what makes you think that I'm _not_ in love?" I say.

Al sniggers. "The great Scorpius Malfoy in love with Zoe Fortescue? I think not."

I keep staring at the ceiling. Was it really that hard to believe that one day I would perhaps find that one person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and maybe even buy a pet or two with them – maybe a dog or a few cats and settle down? My own best friend couldn't believe it and he knows me the best.

"Who were you chatting up?" I ask trying to divert the conversation.

"Anastasia Parkinson-Krum."

"Good choice," I admit.

"So you love her, do you?" Al asks about Zoe.

I shrug to myself. "I don't know."

"Well you should know. You get the butterflies and the heart racing and the smiles. You know what I mean?"

I did know what he meant. I knew exactly what he meant. "Yeah, and the buzzing in the pit of your stomach..."

Al laughs and slaps me on the leg. "See!" he says loudly. "We know all about it. People should pay us to give relationship advice!"

"Yeah, two fifteen year olds, one with some girl he spent time with over the holidays and the other a Prefect with no girlfriend, I think we may be _over_ qualified in fact," I say rolling my eyes to myself.

Al sighs and goes to jump off the bed. "I think we lost our balls a long time ago, Scorp."

"Mate, doesn't Belle fly for the other team?"

Al's eyes widen. "No one has ever seen her with a girl, either way, I can win her over."

"Good luck."

Al turns to leave again but stops. "You'll tell me if you have sex, right?"

I shake my head. "No why the fuck would I do that?"

Al shrugs. "We're mates, we need to know these things. Also it's like a coming of age, you don't need to be embarrassed... I'd be like a proud father."

"Good night Al!"

He says goodnight and I shut my curtain trying to block out any sign of life around me. Because if I wasn't careful, it would be all to obvious that the butterflies, the heart racing and the buzzing in my stomach that I had tried so hard to get rid of over the summer, would be back when I headed to Potions in the morning.

* * *

The rest of the week went by uneventfully. I couldn't get my mum and dad off my mind and the harder I worked in class the more stares I earned. It seems that Rose still wasn't over anything and tried her very best to sit away from me in classes. Sometimes it worked and other times she was forced to sit by me in which she would use this time to gawk at my school work.

"You don't belong in here," I hear my sister snap in the common room.

"Make me leave then?" James says with an amused look on his face.

The common room was empty bar the bickering weirdos sitting on the couch and the sun had actually managed to come out on a Saturday so everyone in the whole of Hogwarts was out in what people were calling the _sun_. I walk in and shake my head to myself because in true Scorpius fashion, I have walked into a war zone if these two were involved.

James and Lesath didn't have a normal relationship. Was it a Malfoy thing? The more I think about it the more it looks like maybe Malfoy's are as crazy as people tell me we are. Lesath and James loved to hate each other, they loved to throw insults at each other and I bet that if you locked the two of them in a room with one wand they would snap it in half trying to kill each other with it first.

I walk through the common room and James pipes up; "What you doing Scorp?"

"I could say the same about a Gryffindor in the Slytherin dungeons," I say stiffly.

Lee just smirks. "James knows this House better than his own," she says raising an eyebrow.

James laughs back at her. "Not nearly as well as you know the Gryffindor boys dorm."

James gets up to leave but Lee and him just stare at each other for a while. The look on Lee's face is that she expects him to do a little more than just stare at her but he ends up smiling. "See you later blondey, if you don't get lost of course."

Lee sighs and waves out. "Have a good _date_ today, James."

James had been dating Leah Thomas for almost two years now and yet he always seems to find his way back to my sister, grovelling at her feet.

Lee stood up and stretched out to give me a hug. I had missed my sister so much, sometimes I wish I was as tough as her and that I didn't care about the small stuff. But that's why people didn't like her. Lesath Malfoy was the biggest bitch if ever there was one.

Lee's hair was long and platinum blonde hair and she and I had the same grey eyes. She was tall but not quite as tall as me and slim just like mum. She knew that every guy fell over their feet for her and she worked it that way. Yet there was always that one guy...

"Shouldn't you be outside, you know, flying your little brooms and playing with your little friends?" she asks when she lets go of me.

"Yeah, hello to you too."

She waves a hand at me and sits down on the couch. "People see a slither of sun and decide to get out there and sunbathe. And yet here we are, sitting in here by ourselves."

I sit down next to her and grab a biscuit from the plate she has by her parchment. "Lee, are you studying?" I ask. My sister never studies.

She shrugs and grabs a biscuit too and puts in in her mouth. "NEWTs, Scor. As in the year that will decide if I am going to be able to live off my own money or dad's."

I shudder at the mention of our dad. "Don't mention that guy ever again."

Lee sighs and folds her arms. "Ok, so we just don't have a dad anymore?"

"You know what I mean," I say a little too snappily for my sister. She gives me the look like she is about to let loose on me.

"People make mistakes, Scor. He is our dad and he and mum are working on it."

"It's ok for you to say." I snap. "You weren't there at the end of the holidays you were too busy fuck-"

"You don't know where I was," she says quickly.

I sit back and fold my arms too, knowing if I say one more thing she would probably try and poke me in the eye with her wand like she always does. "I just..." I don't even continue.

"Don't worry about it Scor, they will sort it out!" she grabs a hold of my shoulder and shakes. "They're adults and we're the kids. Don't let this ruin your days at school these are supposed to be the best years of your life! And James always says that Fifth year is the -" I cut her off.

"The year Champions are made?"

She nods. "Yeah. So chill out and stop thinking about those two and Jesus Christ, drink a little, find a girl, fall in love!"

"Just like you?" I challenge.

She scoffs. "Love? Yeah right, we Malfoy's don't bother with such feelings," she says with a wink.

"Yeah." I say in a not-so-convincing voice.

"Don't worry Scor, what did I tell you? Uggh."

"What are you moaning about now?"

"I am not cut out for this sort of heart-to-heart stuff, why don't you go and bitch to your friends?"

Friends? Al has better things to worry about me being a priss and Rose? Well...

"I don't know," I mumble.

Lee glares at me. "You don't have any friends because you always punch their boyfriends in the nose."

"What about Al?" I argue back.

"He's too busy chasing every girl around the school."

"Lorcan and Lysander?"

She nods. "Yeah, I guess they're ok if they keep their mouths shut and have those abs out on display."

"I feel we are talking about different things now..."

She laughs and puts her arm around me. "Maybe you wouldn't be such a sad-sap if you spent more time with your girlfriend, or you know, made up with your best friend?"

But Rose wouldn't bother with me anymore because it had dragged on so long now; I almost forgot what it was like to even talk to her.

"Feelings," I mumble. "Who needs them?"

Lee nods in agreement. "Don't let those feelings get you down, baby bro."

I had been working on smothering those feelings all summer.

I left my sister lying in the common room and making the most of her study time which I find highly amusing. I go and lie in the dorm while no one is here and thank Merlin for the relative peace I have at the moment.

"Al! Please, swap rounds so I don't have to go with Maree, I am begging you!" she says as she slams the dorm door against the wall.

Just as always, she spun around to face me and the look on her face tells that she didn't expect me to be down here. In the Slytherin Dungeons. Where I live for a majority of the year, yes, leave it to Rose Granger-Weasley to glare at me like she thought I wouldn't be down here.

"Wha-What?" she says turning red as she sees me sitting on the desk next to my bed. I decide talking to her, why would I? She hasn't spoken to me in months, she's still with that idiot that I managed to not hurt enough. "Do you have an eye problem?" she spits.

She frowns at me and puts her hands on her hips, my fucking God. "What?" I spit back, "You know I used to have a actual eye problem so great come back, Rosie!"

"I was going to ask what you were doing here..." she says quietly.

I refrain from rolling my eyes. "You know, just hanging out. In my bedroom. Where I sleep and you don't."

She purses her lips, not impressed by my reply. "You're always so damn sour!"

"Yeah, hello to you too," I manage.

She scoffs. "Hello? A hello would have been nice over the holidays, sorry to hear your owl died. Tell Al I stopped by."

My owl? "What do you mean about my owl!" I shout after she steps out of the room.

I watch her walk away from me, just like she always does, leaving me missing her even more.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hello all! I hope you enjoyed Scorpius' rather drab outlook on life! If you're reading this, please review! I would really love the motivation to continue to write.

 _Preview:_ " _Because_ ," he says as if I am too stupid to comprehend what he is saying. "it was your boyfriend who provoked me and you know it. You just have some weird protective-ness over him. Wait," he says grabbing my arm. "Are you under the Imperius? Because that would explain why you think _I_ am the one who needs to apologise to _you_."


	5. 4: All it takes is a look

**Chapter Four**

 _All it takes is a look_

 _To make me want to stab someone_

* * *

I can hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice and at the same time I think that sickeningly enough he might find this strangely satisfying when Ludwig paired us together. "There is nothing more that pleases me Professor, than working with Weasley," he said.

I hold my tongue in the hope that Ludwig won't catch on to how much I want to Hex him right now and I sit back down on my stool.

 _He_ wanted to play mind games and Ludwig was making it pretty hard to play my games back. But Ludwig walks away and I snap; " _Granger!_ Granger! _Granger_ \- Weasley! You know this; you have known this for five-fucking-years!"

Malfoy was not Malfoy at all. He was the anti-Malfoy. The old Malfoy that I knew and loved and was friends with did not scribble down notes let alone set them out tidily nor did he know how to set up a table for a Potion. Yet, all these things are done and now I feel a bit better knowing that the idiot that hasn't spoken to me in seven months is not my old friend that I miss but truly is an imposter that I would have to kill.

He looks at me like I am the crazy one who hasn't done any work, well, if you wanted to work with someone to actually make a name for yourself during OWLs you would maybe start with talking to them, wouldn't you?

He hadn't spoken a word to me and I was not making the first move. Well, that was until he turned to me and said; "You going to help? Or am I doing this all myself?"

I look at him and I mean truly look at him. I look into those grey eyes and try to find a hint of someone else who took over him in Polyjuice Potion, I look at that crooked smile he still manages to wear even though he has become a mute who can't talk properly, I look in his blonde hair trying to find even the smallest trace of a different colour, his long, tall body was still the same. Nothing remotely told me he was actually someone else.

Just the fact that he is a fucking idiot who seems to think he is the most intelligent person at Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry," he says and then quickly throws up his right hand to stop me from saying anything. "I mean for starting off like that. I should have known that you are going to help because you can't let anyone take the credit for anything around here."

I don't even say anything. This was stupid. How could we once have been best friends? Was I really that stupid? Should I even be at the top of my classes when quite clearly, my brain doesn't work?

Five years we had been sitting at this same table. Sometimes Belle would be plastered to the end or Al would sit in between us or if it was really bad, Lysander or Lorcan would be dumped here too and we would have to act as babysitters.

I decide to be the bigger man, the better witch, the more mature one and I grab the ingredients for the mix we were making and start writing down the names before I speak. "So how have you been?"

Scorpius eyes me suspiciously and slowly starts tipping vials into the cauldron. "Been well," he says simply.

He holds out his hand so that I can place the quill in it and he starts writing down more relevant notes, I see he has definitely acquired some skill at this note taking.

I struggle to find anything to say to him so I pick the first thing that comes into mind. "You grew your hair out."

Fuck.

Malfoy laughs to himself. "Funny, how it does that."

"I see you still only speak in sarcasms."

"I see you manage to talk without vomiting out Dion Wood's tongue every second word."

I shake my head not believing the spine of this guy. "So we can only talk if it has something to do with my boyfriend? What about Zoe?"

"Do you have something against Zoe?" he asks trying to act surprised.

I didn't have anything against Zoe. She was my friend; we had been forced to share a room for five years. "This has nothing to do with Zoe?" I like Zoe.

The more I think this the more I sound like I trying to convince myself.

"Doesn't it? Well this has nothing to do with Wood either," he says snappily.

"You're just pissed because -"

"Because he stole my friend!"

He spoke the last sentence so loud that everyone turns to look at him while stirring their mixes. Everyone looks away when Malfoy and I both look back and I say; "What? Do you all have eye problems?"

Malfoy sighs and leans back in his chair throwing his quill on the table.

We stay in silence for a little longer; I can see he is tense. A vein pulsing in his jaw and did his jaw always look this sharp?

"No one stole me!" I hiss. "I don't know why you're acting so, so..."

"Childish? That is one of your favourite words, isn't it?"

I actually see a glimmer of a smile and I take that and run with it. Finally something, _anything_ to see that maybe he would start talking to me again.

"Yes, I suppose so," I say quietly. "Look, this would all be over with if you just apologised to me."

Malfoy almost chokes and I am this close to hitting him on the back as I understand what it is like to almost choke and die. "Apologise?"

"Yes," I say, "you know, for disappearing off the face of the earth and not talking to me?"

"Disappearing off the face of the earth?"

"I thought your owl had died.." Or your phone was disconnected or your fingers were otherwise occupied and unable to write.

"My owl?"

"You know, big winged creature that delivers mail?"

"Hmmm."

Something in his voice tells me that he is retreating again and I don't want to push him.

"I-I..." I say stupidly and I appear to have lost my tongue in the meantime, or is it that Dion's tongue was stopping me from talking just like Malfoy had suggested?

"You know what, Weasley, let's just leave this."

"Why?" now I'm the one that sounds childish.

" _Because_ ," he says as if I am too stupid to comprehend what he is saying. "It was your boyfriend who provoked me and you know it. You just have some weird protective-ness over him. Wait," he says grabbing my arm. "Are you under the Imperius? Because that would explain why you think _I_ am the one who needs to apologise to _you_."

I chuck a twig into the cauldron and stir it a bit more vigorously than I should have but. Was I really being stupid? Was it me? Even if it was it doesn't make up for the seven months of nothing.

"We were best mates," I say.

Malfoy just nods. "I know."

"And that's it?" I reply loudly. "Nothing else? A Malfoy always has the last say!" I say nudging him.

He keeps on stirring until the bell rings.

* * *

People think that the lake is a relaxing place to study but all it was to me was a place where my parchments could fly around and cause me to lose my wand amongst the long grass.

Dion had gone back up to the Common Room and I thanked Merlin internally that I didn't need to try and explain the difference between Gillyweed and just a normal weed to him because something tells me that this sort of difference should be obvious. Belle is quite obviously glad by this and once he walks away she smiles and lies in the grass next to me.

Zoe was here too and I was happy because we hadn't spent much time together since the start of term yet she insists that she has been otherwise occupied and it disturbs me that she has, on more than one occasion, told me about Malfoy's fingers when I really just wanted to know if they were broken or not.

"I don't know why you don't just say sorry to him. Get it over and done with. And then tell me what Scorpius says about the Slytherin teams plan is for their match coming up," says Belle.

"Oh?" I say acting surprised. "The girl who says she hates Quidditch wants me to find out special information?" I tease.

She shrugs and says; "Yeah? James said he would pay me money to find out. He wants to me get it out of Al but if I can avoid having him drool down my shirt, I will."

Zoe frowns. "I could ask Scorp?"

"And what makes you think you could get it out of him? Wouldn't you be otherwise occupied?" she says using Zoe's own words against her. "I see you bought a shirt two sizes too small, interesting choice of wardrobe," she says squishing her own boobs against each other.

"Belle!" I hiss, "Shut up!"

Zoe flushes pink and I can't help but be a little pissed that she knows more about Malfoy than I do these days. "Not all the time... and my shirt, it shrunk," she says adjusting her shirt as though it might stretch all of a sudden.

Belle doesn't even bother holding back a snigger and I shake my head.

Relationships, love issues, people following Belle around just to get a look at her and all I have is a Quidditch-head boyfriend and a mate who can't do anything with me but argue.

Oh my life is perfect.

I hear Belle groan and she starts pointing her wand at me from lying down on the ground. "Look, it's my pet puppy," she says referring to Al who was walking towards us.

He smiles as he pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. His arms were swinging as he walked towards us.

"He's on a mission," I say. "Be prepared Belle."

Al's messy hair was blowing in the breeze as he sat down, smack bang in the middle of us three girls. I shove him away with my foot but he ignores me. "Lovely day isn't it?" he says.

Belle rolls her eyes and just stares at him. "It's not exactly brimming with excitement."

Al grins anyways and turns to Zoe. "What about you Fortescue?"

Zoe doesn't even bother replying and it seems to me she is put out by Belle's abruptness. Zoe knows better than to let anything Belle says get to her though; we had been together for so long I'm surprised she took anything Belle said seriously.

Al raises his eyebrows and looks at me. "Ok..." he says slowly.

Zoe stands and grabs her bag off the grass. "I better go," she says quietly. "Scorp says he wants to do some studying in the Library so I better go."

This time it's me who seems too caught up to say anything. Malfoy studying? Now the world has definitely gone crazy. The only time I ever saw him in the library was if I dragged him by his school tie. Even then he would lay his head on the desk and just watch me write out his notes.

Zoe waves goodbye and I use this time to whack Belle. "How could you say those things to her?" I snap.

Al raises his hand. "Now Rose, I'm sure Belle here has a perfectly good explanation."

"Cut the crap, Potter." I say. "You weren't even here so stop trying to stick up for her."

Belle smiles. "No, no. He has a point here, continue Potter."

I can't believe these two. "Don't encourage him!"

"What did you say anyway?" Al asks genuinely interested.

She could say that she just snogged a Hippogriff and he would be interested.

"Nothing she didn't already know. But here's some info for you; your brother wanted me to try my luck and get Slytherin's game play out of you."

Al loosens his tie, "And how were you planning on doing this?" he asks. A million thoughts must be running through his head right now, ideas, fantasies...

Belle laughs and puts he hand on his arm. "I have no idea. But I know that our friend and cousin here," she says pointing at me. "Has a better chance of getting it out of Malfoy than Zoe does."

It would be as simple as drawing blood from a stone.

Al just shrugs his shoulders and leans back on the grass. "Zoe would have a better chance getting trigonometry out of him these days since all he does is study."

Belle looks at Al as though impressed. "Ah, my kind of man can wave a wand and study Muggle subjects."

Al chokes on nothing, taking what Belle had just said literally. "So you do have a type of man?"

"No, it's just my entire family are Muggle so a bit of Muggle appreciation doesn't go astray."

Al nods. "Muggle's," he says obviously wondering what the hell he can do to learn as much about Muggle's as possible overnight.

* * *

I left Belle trying to explain to Al what a phone was and he did an excellent job at pretending that he had never seen one and that his mum doesn't call my mum on one every single night at seven o'clock. Belle was no dummy she knew that even the Malfoy's had a phone so how could the Potters not? I feel that Belle is enjoying explaining what a phone was just as much as Al enjoyed listening to her.

I went up to the Common Room and Nina and Daisy were just leaving and waved at me as they left the room. All that was left was blonde head poking out of Zoe's bed, she couldn't be asleep though, and it was way too early.

I go over and sit on Belle's bed which was closest to Zoe's and do a little; "Ahem."

Zoe moves her blanket down past her face and just looks at me. "What?"

Ok, so I was right in thinking she was not ok.

"What you doing?" I ask cautiously.

Zoe looks like she wants to turn the other way but replies anyway. "Lying in bed."

No fucking shit.

"Why?"

Zoe sighs; "If you really must know it is because I am not happy."

Seems reasonable. "That's what I do when I'm not happy."

"I know," she says stiffly. "I have been in here for five years with you. This is your signature move."

"What's wrong?" I say and part of me regrets even asking. Nothing good comes from asking a person like Zoe what was wrong.

"Everyone follows you around Rose. Everyone talks about you, wants to be you, wants to be the cool Prefect and wants to be around you."

I shake my head not knowing what she was trying to tell me. I didn't know one person who wanted to be me. Al follows me around because if he didn't, he might miss out on a moment spent with Belle and I wasn't the cool Prefect, Molly had lied!

"What are you talking about Zo?"

"Belle said that you would have a better chance of getting information out of Scorpius about Quidditch -"

I cut her off with a laugh. "It was a joke, Zo. Why the hell would I want to talk about Quidditch with Scorpius?" Oh God, I just used his real name. As in the one that defines him from the rest of Malfoys.

This time she sits up. "You're right, why would you? It would be better time spent if you or him apologised to each other so people around could move on and stop begging you to forgive him. That's all people talk about!"

"Hang on; you were one of the people to tell me to forgive him! Remember?"

She nods so hard that her blonde hair starts flying all over the place and the glare of her yellow-tinged eyes is so piercing I want to look away. "Of course I do!" she hisses. "I want you to forgive him so he can move on!"

"Move on? From what?"

She smiles but it is not in a comforting way. It is in that way where you know someone is crazy. "The more this drags on he will never be able to concentrate on me!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I mumble and I get off Belle's bed to leave. I turn towards the door.

"Yes you do," Zoe says.

I slam the door behind me and make my way to the other end of the tower.

I couldn't believe what had just happened. Belle and I bicker all the time but never Zoe. I didn't even think she knew how to be unhappy. Zoe was always the one you turn to be cheered up. Zoe was the nice one.

Then I realise: Zoe has been corrupted by Malfoy. Yes, that was it. First the Malfoy gene overtakes him and then I lose him, now he is corrupting my friends and I will lose them. Well, he might have Zoe but I would win her back and he will not be able to take any more of my friends. The more I think about it the angrier I get.

Zoe had accused me of dragging on this debacle; did she think I enjoyed it? Did she really think I liked not talking to my ex-best-friend? She had to be crazy. He would have to apologise to me and she would just have to deal with it until it was over.

I open a door and walk in to sit on the dirty floor of the Sixth Year Gryffindor boy's dorm in disgust. There were socks, shoes, ties, singlets everywhere and also what appears to be used Quidditch gear that, because of the use of common sense, would not have been used since last year. That would probably explain the smell.

Back when I was first year this room was so comforting to me. Knowing that James was right here made me realise I was at least not alone in this castle even if he used to drive me crazy.

Well, he still does actually.

Molly was lying on Dion's bed which was next to James' as though it as her own. Her short bright red hair that she usually has and has had since last year was starting to grow out. Molly is best friends with James and always has been. She is the black sheep of her family and one time she cracked a joke herself saying that she thinks her real dad is Uncle George. No one laughed at that joke except for dad. Molly and James had never been one to follow rules, or if they did, they were the rules they had made. I always had a lot of fun hanging out with these two. That is until James usually says something either insulting or inappropriate.

I explained what had happened between Zoe and I to Molly. "Zoe Fortescue is precious, Rosebud. Don't let it get to you. Merlin, if I had counted how many times Georgia and I feel out over the years I would have run out of fingers and toes," says Molly.

"Yes, that may be true, Mol. But it wasn't any old fight. It was a _Malfoy_ fight," he says with a grin.

"It was not!" I try and argue back.

"Wasn't the main concern that you and Malfoy won't say sorry to each other and hence the reason why he can't ' _move on'_ " Molly says doing the bunny ears in the air.

"Yeah," I say feebly, "But..."

"But? People will always be jealous when your best friend is a guy, it's a girl thing," Molly says pointing at James.

He looks at her like he doesn't know what she's referring to. "What?" he says.

"Remember Lena Avery? She tried to Hex me in the bathroom because she said I was in her way of getting you?"

"Maybe you were in her way?"

"Not in that way you git!" Molly says throwing a pillow at James. "I am your cousin; I'm not in the way of your love life. That's Leah!"

"Leah is not in the way of anything. You are however in the way of me getting some study in."

Molly huffs and then gets off Dion's bed. "Don't tell him I touched his bed. Or looked through his drawers, ok?"

I nod in reply and watch Molly walk out of the dorm before diverting my gaze back to the messy room.

"Bud," he says seriously. "If all you're gonna do in here is stare at my washing then I think it's best that you leave because I don't need that sort of negativity in my life," he says with a serious expression.

First off, he was looking at me over his copy of _Hogwarts: A History_ which I know is complete bullshit because behind said book was none other than a copy of the latest _Witch Weekly_ where he enjoys catching up with the latest gossip columns.

The other thing is I think James had actually washed today. A lot of people say that Al looks the most like Uncle Harry. But in fact Al and James could pass for twins and really, Al was bigger than James. James did have Uncle Harry's eyes which meant that when he stares at me, like the way he is staring at me now, I always feel like I have done something wrong.

And also the pile he just called _washing_ was in fact a heap of worn clothing. That stunk.

"I see you have styled your hair," I say sarcastically referring to his messy black hair.

James raises both his eyebrows over his magazine. "I have heard you have a new obsession with people's hair."

I frown. "And where did you hear that from?"

"Malfoy? Or the girl Malfoy? Not sure which one now..."

"Before or after you shagged her?" I ask.

James just glares at me. "Don't talk too loud. I know where to bury bodies around here, Bud. I have connections."

More like connections to Lesath Malfoy.

"Sorry," I mutter feeling pretty lousy about the low blow but sometimes I can't control what comes out of my mouth.

Just like he can't control running around after Lesath the most evil girl in Hogwarts. But I always felt bad for Leah Thomas, his girlfriend.

"It's ok," he says looking down at his magazine – slash – book like it is the most interesting this he has ever read.

"I know you have your magazine behind there," I tell him.

James scoffs. "What magazine?"

"Witch Weekly?"

James just nods. "Don't tell any of the boys I read this shit, ok?"

"Sure."

"What are you doing in here anyway?"

I look over at the empty bed next James where Dion sleeps. "Waiting for Dion," I say.

"You'll be waiting all day if he is out there on the pitch. I love my fair share of Quidditch but at some point you have to let your body rest!"

Well I would consider that to be the law as James is the Captain of the team. James will get up to First Division next year I bet.

The door of the dorm flings open and as sure as the sun rises, there is Dion.

"Sorry," he says as she throws his bag on the table. "I got caught up with McGonagall asking me about NEWTs and that so she wouldn't stop talking!" he blurts.

I stand up and try to carefully avoid the dirty washing on the ground to give Dion a hug.

We kiss and he pulls out his wand to flick open his trunk, stuff spilling everywhere and then a Snitch fly's out. "I promise I'll be back," he says. "Just gotta give this to Simon."

He rushes out just as quickly as he rushed in and I turn to look at James who puts down his book and gestures for me to go over to him.

I sigh, Dion was obsessed with his Quidditch and I had just sat here for a whole thirty minutes doing nothing but waiting for him. And Zoe was pissed off at me. This had turned out to be a shit day.

James moves his legs so that I can sit down next to him and he leans into me; "I am no expert on this but the look on your face tells me that you are getting a little sick of that guy, am I right?"

James had read too many Witch Weekly articles.

"You're right," I say and James grins at me. "You're not an expert on this."

James frowns and gets back to his magazine.

But James was right and it was driving me crazy. The Dion that used to spend so much time on me was gone as quickly as he left the room. Now it felt like we were doing this because everyone needed a boyfriend in the Fifth Year if they were going to be Champions.

On the upside if Quidditch didn't work out for James then I am sure there is a relationship column out there just begging for him to write it.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** one thing: REVIEW! I haven't had a lot of interest in this story :(

 _Preview:_

As much as the sarcasm is oh so comforting coming from his mouth, it annoys the shit out of me. "You made a funny, how's that working out for you?" I snap back.

"So all those joke classes I took are paying for themselves, huh?" I laugh. I laugh like it is literally the funniest thing he has ever said. I laugh because eight months' worth of nothing has come down to this moment where he is actually conversing with me. "Don't laugh too hard, you'll crack your face."


	6. 5: There are jokes and tricks

**Chapter Five**

 _There are jokes and then there are tricks_

 _And then there are moments where you trick me into thinking things are ok_

* * *

Things had not changed around here at all in the last few weeks. Zoe was still not talking to me and Al was his usual puppy-dog self. James still read the latest editions of _Witch Weekly_ and Molly still had no hair. Belle always said that Fourth Year was our weird year and we had made a promise to make this year better, but it wasn't turning out that way. Maybe Sixth Year would be our year. Maybe by then Al would have stopped chasing Belle around and Zoe will speak to me. Maybe her boyfriend would too.

That weird break through moment we had in Potions died as quickly as it had come on and I swear to Merlin Malfoy smirks to himself every time I am planted next to him. This is between him taking notes of course.

Fifth Year was quickly becoming just another year. Another year of trying to figure shit out and making sure we don't break our wands. They tell you when you start school that a wand becomes part of your arm, part of your body but they break much easier than a bone. The sooner it was Christmas, the sooner I could talk to Teddy about all this crap and see which year he became a Champion. But knowing Teddy Lupin, he was born one.

Rounds were a time where if it was Al and I, we would get a break from all the drama that was going around the school at the moment. James lost a toe last week because he pissed off Aleksander Parkinson-Krum, Aleksander apparently Imperiused a fellow Fifth Year Slytherin who shared a dorm with Al and Malfoy, Dorian Nott, his sister and that's why she slept with him, or so that is the story she is telling anyway. Maree Skeeter was going to step down as Prefect because she was at the bottom of every class. Out of all these rumours, only James' missing toe was true. Or so Al and I think anyway.

Rounds tonight were not so quiet. The itty bitty cute little babies that were Hugo, Lily and Louis were following us around the Hufflepuff Dungeons and were quite frankly, annoying the shit out of us.

"Hagrid tried to feed us," says Lily.

"But Dom told us not to trust his food," said Louis.

"So I ate it instead," says Hugo with a shrug.

Nothing would kill Hugo Fred Weasley and especially not food.

Lily pipes up and every single part of her reminds me of her mum. It is freaky actually, Aunt Ginny has always been the loud scary one and maybe that would be the way Lily would turn out too. "Bud, we can't wait to see you play this year!" she says.

I slow down my pace to look at these three kids; well they weren't kids were they? They were only two years younger than me but Fifth Year is so much more important than third year. "Sorry guys, I'm not playing this year."

All three of them say; "What?" I am afraid they have spent way too much time together.

I sigh; "Too much going on this year." It was true. Between being a Prefect and OWLs and Dion being a right git, I didn't think I would have the energy.

"Why?" Hugo asks. "Have you told mum and dad?"

"I'm hardly playing first division, Hugh."

Al pipes in this time; "You could have been if you kept going, you're a great Keeper, Bud."

"Well that's bullocks if you ask me. Dad's going to be pissed," Hugo says.

"I'm sure there are worse things out there," I reply.

"Dad's gonna be broken. Bud, you're going to be the one to kill dad. I feel it," Hugo says with a smirk.

"Gee, way to go, Hugh. I'm sure it won't kill him."

He nods in agreement, "You're right. Mum will."

Hugo always had a morbid outlook on life.

Lily and Louis chat away about their next classes and Al walks ahead, I don't quite understand why these three would willingly want to walk around the corridors with us but maybe this is the new trend?

"Teddy told me in a letter that he's moving in with Vic," Hugo says offhandedly.

Teddy was the last person I would ever think would actually make the move to make things seriously but alas, here we are. "Yes, I do find it unusual that he would move in with Vic. His _wife,_ " I say sarcastically with a laugh.

Teddy Lupin was like the cool cousin we had always wanted. Teddy Lupin was also the cooler older brother that James, Al and Lily got to have over the holidays. He also sucked at his relationship with our actual cousin Victoire and he had a lot of piercings. He could fly like a pro, swore like a sailor and also spent a lot of his free time drunk on my parent's floor if Aunt Ginny got sick of his shit and kicked him out. He and Vic got married at the end of her Seventh Year which almost killed Aunt Fleur. She deserved a little bit of killing every now and then anyway so I don't think it bothered anyone. In fact, Dad thinks that Teddy did them a favour.

"Remember that time mum had that intervention with Aunty Ginny and Nanna about how much Teddy drinks and he vomited all over mum's rug?" Hugo says with a laugh.

Sometimes there was nothing more satisfying than watching my mum try and rally up people just for them to not give a damn. Hermione Granger always tried her hardest with people.

"That's why you have to do well this year, Hugh. Or mum will bust down your Dorm door."

"You're joking," he says.

But am I? I had seen it so many times before with dad and Uncle Harry. "Don't you remember the time mum dragged Uncle Harry by the ear because he forgot to hand in a paper at work? Seriously Hugo, Hermione is not a joke!"

Hugo agrees; "Yes, Hermione is not a joke," he shudders. "She sent me a Howler because I forgot my school tie."

Al walked back and throws up his hands in defeat. "Typical Hufflepuff's, not a single one in sight. To think Teddy told me Hufflepuff's throw the best parties. And here we are we're the only trouble in these corridors!"

Lily rolls her eyes at her older brother. "Which one of us do you suppose is trouble? It is most definitely not you..."

Al scoffs. "I've seen more trouble than you have, _Lily-Billy_ ," he says her nickname which earns him a punch in the arm.

"You're right, Lils. It's you that's the trouble," I say and she smiles at me, obviously proud of my comment.

"Let's go," says Louis. "I'm pretty hungry." Louis has always been the quiet one in the family. He takes after Uncle Bill more so than his siblings and I guess growing up in a crowd like ours, you either have to be so loud that you almost yell to be heard or keep quiet and stick to yourself. Out of all of us, he is the only one who sticks to the latter.

Our allocated Rounds time comes to an end and as always, Al walks me to the Gryffindor Tower. I am grateful for this because I cannot ever remember a time where I actually enjoyed walking around this place by myself in the dark and to think my parents used to do it all the time freaks me out.

"Do you think Belle would be awake?" Al asks.

I shake my head. "Goodnight Al!"

He wanders back off to his dungeon and I get upstairs to my dorm. I kick off my shoes and get into my pyjamas and notice everyone is asleep.

Except one bed being empty: Zoe's.

I lie in bed and think about that empty bed. Zoe would be with Malfoy, there wasn't a doubt about that.

And for some reason, I go to sleep, my last thoughts being angry.

* * *

 _Good morning, the sun is shining here in London today and it is easy to say that today is going to be a great day! A shout out to everyone flooing to work, apparating to loved ones, staying at home with their kids or at school! The weather forecast here says that it is going to be a great day! And a shout out to my daughter Nina Jordan who has her first practice today at Hogwarts, Go-Go-Gryffindor!_

Nina shuts off the radio and looks outside to the rain. Here in Scotland the day didn't sound as great as the day Lee Jordan was obviously having in London. "It's raining, dad," she says out loud.

Belle and I both laugh. "Well I on the other hand cannot wait for season to start so I can get back into my claim to fame. ' _Gryffindor wins and Parkinson-Krum gets a tooth punched out by Potter, not to be confused with Scorpius Malfoy who generally throws the first punch!'_ " Belle says as she uses her commentating voice.

My friend was always so crazy but this time around I feel sad that I won't be on the pitch for the season. I know James would let me on the team but really, I didn't have the time. Between Simon Wood allocating training time and James on top of him, it would be hard to find the space. And also the fact no one really has the guts to tell Simon that James is actually the Captain...

"I'm just pleased that there will be an official training today and none of those crazy midnight sessions Simon Wood tries to organise behind McGonagall's back," says Nina swinging her bag over her shoulder.

She leaves the room and it's just Belle and I in here. "I see Zoe still thinks we're Voldemort reborn," I say to Belle.

Belle shrugs it off. "Why does it matter anyway? We have better noses than him and that is good enough for me."

When you live with the same set of girls every year, you start to know things about them. One of the things about Nina Jordan is that, as displayed this morning, her parents were the most involved and supportive parents I have even seen. Not that mine weren't but Ron Weasley always had a weird way of giving advice like: _"If you fail in all your subjects and you only have_ _Divination_ _left, tell them you can see a dog at the bottom of your cup and they'll pass you."_ or _"If Hagrid tells you to follow the spiders, kill yourself."_ And mum? Well, mum was here at least once a term so she would usually tell me an entire term worth of stuff in that one visit and usually it was about how much people annoy her.

Daisy Scott-Wilson on the other hand, well, she was the sort of girl who wouldn't talk all term and then you lose that one item you've been looking for before the holidays and all of a sudden she knows where it is...

Zoe, Belle and I were the closest. Zoe never held grudges. Zoe never yelled with anger but she would always squeal if excited. Zoe would especially not avoid me for two weeks.

"It's been two weeks, Belle!" I moan to her.

She comes over and pats me on the back. "She's got the pip, she'll get over it and then she'll be begging us to tell her what colour suits her better, it'll all be right!"

I don't feel as positively about the silence from Zoe as Belle does. "You don't feel bad about it?"

"Bad? Why? 'Cause I said she's otherwise occupied? God, some girls would be giddy at the thought of being otherwise occupied with Scorpius Malfoy, isn't that, like every girls fantasy? The innocent guy with the dark past?" she sniggers. "More like the git that plays to his hair colour."

I feel disgusted at the thought of every girl dreaming about being with Malfoy, they would all feel differently when they realise he is a mute and doesn't have the capacity to communicate.

"Hmm," I say.

Belle nods and throws her own bag over her shoulder. "Yeah, I don't expect you to know what that's like. You're so blinded that you don't realise _he's_ the one thinking of _you_ that way."

"What?" I say quickly. No way, Malfoy would never think of me that way. He would rather shove his hand in a Hippogriffs mouth before he ever thought of me that way and he hates the creatures. Malfoy and I had always been friends. But the way my face flushes when she says that is starting to give me away. He was a good looking mute. The best looking mute! And I did struggle a few times trying to keep my feelings friendly only.

Belle just winks. "Maybe you just need glasses because you're so blind. Ask Al if you can borrow his maybe? There is something about those horn-rimmed glasses."

Belle seemed to know a lot about Al's glasses...

* * *

Quidditch training had been cut short for two reasons: James and Simon were about to kill each other and then James and Simon were going to kill Aleksander Parkinson-Krum.

It turns out that in McGonagall's old age she has forgotten how to plan out allocation times for training. I only know this because Molly and Belle dragged me along to the pitch to keep them company. Dion looked at me when he saw me out on the pitch with a mixture of both pride and annoyance. Proud that I had made the effort to come and watch him and annoyance because even though he bugs me to the high heavens to come out here with him, I never do.

The Slytherins had come out halfway through the Gryffindor training and James almost fell off his broom when Aleksander started yelling at them to get off the pitch.

Needless to say James pulled out his wand and Aleksander pulled out his yet the two Woods just picked up their brooms and started attacking him and Scorp, Al, Flint and a few other players with them. James was impressed by his team, even if it was just the two Woods.

I could see Nina just standing there leaning on her own broom and not moving; I think she is sick of the guys in the team.

Malfoy though, who was usually down for a fight obviously, stood back when Dion went to go at him with the broom. A few words had been said by Malfoy and then before we knew it, both teams were flying on the pitch. And then the sky fell.

Ok, not really. But it might as well have, I don't think anyone had ever seen Gryffindor and Slytherin cooperating in this fashion.

Molly nudges me in the ribs. "What the hell did Malfoy say to Dion to make this happen? Do you think he might kill him? Like he coaxed Malfoy up there in the sky to kill him?"

I roll my eyes. "Don't be so dramatic," I say. "People can get along can't they?"

"Yeah... Just as well as a dick to a rash," says Belle.

Both Molly and I sit there, we couldn't argue. There was no way this was going to end well and I didn't really want to be around if any of these people flying died.

"For a girl who doesn't like them, she seems to know a lot about dicks," Molly said in my ear.

Training ends pretty well though and even the teams shake hands and I just wait to see which one of those people's hands drop off...

Dion waves at me from the pitch and I head down to see him.

He was panting when I got to him and his broom was still plastered to his hand. He grins at me and gives me a kiss. "I'll head off for a shower and then meet you inside for tea, yeah?"

"Ok, I'll see you soon," I tell him.

He walks off and I turn to head back up to the stand to get Molly and Belle when I realise they're gone. Gee, great cousin and friend they are.

I decide to walk back to the castle when I hear someone call out; "Oi!'

I don't even have to turn to see who just called out to me. I would know that voice anywhere. The same one that laughs at me when I get questions wrong in class or I trip over something. That same irritating voice.

Had the universe stopped? Was I the only girl left in the world so now he was stuck with me? Was he no longer mute?

I turn to look at him; he has to be about six-foot-one now. He was so tall and I never really noticed in classes when we were sitting. But he still had that lopsided grin and right now, he was smiling at me.

He has his broom over his shoulder and he looks at me and says; "Howsit, _Rosie_?"

Really? He is asking me how I am. After eight months. _'I'm great, just wondering if maybe I should pay to get your phone reconnected but I see you can talk to me face-to-face now so all is well.'_

I try to keep a straight face. "I am fine, thank you."

His face tells me he is taken aback by my formality. "Well, that _is_ excellent," he says properly.

He turns to head in the opposite direction again and starts walking away from me. Ok, this is not how conversation works. Most normal people can string together more than three words. It's called a sentence and that forms a conversation.

"Typical!" I say out loud so he can hear me.

He spins on his heels again. "What is typical? Aren't you coming?"

"Oh, so I am invited am I?" I say looking at him sideways.

"Usually when someone asks if you're coming; that is classed as an invite."

"Well -" I am cut off.

"Well stop arguing and come!" he says widening his eyes to tell me he is getting frustrated. "Godric, I am going to regret this."

And I follow him like the obsessed ex-best-friend that I am because for some reason I would rather follow a mute than go back up to the castle.

There were so many memories around these grounds. The lake that Malfoy had pushed me in back in first year and the Whomping Willow where Malfoy had broken his arm and this very pitch where Al fell off his broom and landed on Dorian Nott breaking _his_ arm in the meantime.

"You haven't spoken to me in ages," I say quietly.

He hears me but he doesn't turn to look at me. "We speak in Potions every day."

Yes, of course we do. We are practically speaking from the moment we walk in until we go to bed at night. "A few words don't count as conversation."

"Very observant aren't you? Nothing gets past you, Weasley."

As much as the sarcasm is oh so comforting coming from his mouth, it annoys the shit out of me. "You made a funny, how's that working out for you?" I snap back.

"So all those joke classes I took are paying for themselves, huh?" I laugh. I laugh like it is literally the funniest thing he has ever said. I laugh because eight months' worth of nothing has come down to this moment where he is actually conversing with me. "Don't laugh too hard, you'll crack your face."

I never had much control over what comes out of my mouth and before I can internally kick myself I blurt out; "I missed you. A shit tonne." I cover my mouth as though I had vomited all over the place.

He stops walking and turns to look at me again. This time he's looking at me intently. As if to see something in me or maybe it is more like he is looking at an animal at a zoo, which would be fitting as that is how I feel right now. He grabs out something from his pocket and places it between his lips, lighting the tip and then grabbing it back out to point at me with it. "I missed you too."

He missed me too. He missed the late nights studying and the arguing in the Great Hall too – _and did he smoke?_

Of course he did. It was one of the things he must have taken up over the summer holidays. I had noticed his cigarettes when I say him leaving the Gryffindor Tower one night but I didn't really notice because all I could think about was how he had dropped Zoe off. It was one of those weird things I didn't know about him. I didn't know the Summer Scorpius at all.

He exhales loudly as if it was the best thing that had ever happened to him and he offers the packet to me but I wasn't going to be so easily corrupted by Scorpius Malfoy.

"So," I say. "You missed me too?"

He runs his free hand through his hair and frowns. "I don't find it so easy to just drop friends like you do."

Ok, so he was being a Debby Downer. How very Malfoy of him. "I didn't drop you."

"Drop, abandon, whatever..."

"Abandon? How the hell did I abandon you? You're not an orphan!"

This time I can see his face turn, from a smile to straight poison. "No that would be your Uncle – Sorry, low blow – You want me to be honest with you?"

Did I? Not really. I didn't want to hear why he was angry at me or how Zoe was more important. I didn't need to hear how I had fucked up and I was a really shitty friend. I get enough of that from Belle.

"No?" he says through his teeth. "You don't want to hear what it was like to hear someone call out and call you a Death Eater? Or how about the way I had been prodded so many times with Dion's wand? Or the scar he left me? You don't want to hear about that? Or what about the way I felt when the only person I used to turn to turned on me?"

I must look like a fish out of water right now. I think of a million things to say but none them were worth mentioning. I felt bad.

I was the fuck up.

"Scar?" I manage to blurt out. At least I can still manage to say words.

Malfoy shrugs at me, as if now it's nothing, "He got me good, I'll give him that."

How the hell did Dion scar him? I feel the tell-tale signs of weakness – tears prickling my eyes. I can't cry in front of Malfoy, I just can't. But Dion hurt him and now his new nose doesn't seem bad at all. I watch him as though I am waiting for him to combust in front of me. A ticking time bomb.

A real angry Wizard who's going to Avada me.

Nothing happens though and I pray to Merlin that Malfoy is not the one to kill me. I never thought I would die that way. I was hoping it would be old age.

"I'm sorry," I mumble.

Malfoy almost chokes on a drag. "Rose Granger-Weasley? Sorry? Call the tabloids!"

I move over closer to him, the haze of the smoke reminds me of Malfoy Manor and the few times I had been there as his father smokes too.

"I wish you wouldn't smoke," I say.

"I like it."

"I like you," I say stupidly, why Rose? Why must you say the weirdest things? I try and cover up. "I like that we talk again."

Malfoy smiles to himself and drops the butt of his smoke on the ground. "Remember third year? Our weird year?"

"I thought Fourth Year was our weird year?"

"We kissed in our Third Year that was our weird year."

"Oh right," I say as if I should have known better. We kissed on the front porch of the Manor. It was supposed to be just as friends to see what all the fuss was about. It ended that I had a major crush on him for a long time. I guess it was our weird year; nothing is weirder than kissing your best friend.

"Now we're Fifth Years and we're still not Champions, Rosie."

My heart skips a beat when he calls me Rosie again. There was no one else in the world that called me Rosie because everyone knows I would have to go Muggle on them and stab them yet here he is...

"It's only First Term," I say with a grin, his old nickname turns me into crazy-smile Rose. "We have time."

Scorp sighs and actually puts an arm around my shoulders. "So you and Wood still, you know, loving each other?"

The smell of Malfoy drives me crazy. It's like coming home after a long term or smelling your favourite food. I don't know how I feel about Dion and I hadn't for a while. "I don't know," I say honestly.

"There is something out there that you don't know? Shit, are you sick?"

"Don't push me Malfoy. I just, I don't know. I haven't... Not for a while."

"It's good to know that even though you're with Wood, you haven't had a brain bleed and your head is still screwed on."

That brain bleed didn't seem so bad now that he was talking to me.

"I see you still have a lot of charm."

He grins to himself; "You know, I like this talking business."

I wanted to tell him I did too, and I didn't particularly like the mute him. How could I know someone so well yet not know them at all? "You learn something new every day."

"You sure do," he adds. "You were one of the only people I talked to back in First Year, who would have thought we would be over here enjoying a ciggarette together," he says with a wink.

I hit him lightly on the arm. "I am not enjoying one!" I argue.

"Ah, but you're enjoying the company aren't you?"

As much as I wanted to argue that, I didn't have anything to say but; "I am."

He pulls me closer to him, the smell of smoke and his smell comforting me in the meantime. "Even though you were such an unlikable creature back then."

That earns another hit but I could see his eyes squinting and all of his teeth as he smiled. That was a true Scorpius Malfoy smile if ever I had seen one. "I don't think that was as nice a comment as you thought it was going to be, Malfoy."

"You know me Rosie, nothing comes out right, does it?"

He was right, I did know him, but it was hard to get to know the new him, the Summer him. "Makes me wonder how I ever went this long without your compliments."

He shifts his weight as he puts his wand back in his pocket. "It makes me wonder how we even went this long without talking."

I wanted to tell him it was painful and that I didn't appreciate his Owl losing a wing but instead I say; "As long as you can cooperate in Potions this year, we won't have to do it again!"

"I better go, Zoe will be waiting for me," he says quickly. "Might see you around."

I sigh and get out from under his arms. Feeling that maybe things will never be the same. Things will never be the same if he is walking back to the castle to a girl who loves him and I think he might love back.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I just really want everyone to know I appreciate their reviews, advice, and people telling me to hurry up, I know I am shit but now we're getting more Scorose action so I hope you are all looking forward to it! I promise more Rose and Scorpius action in the coming chapters!

 _Preview:_ She seems relieved by this. "Thanks," she says. "For coming back."

I didn't know what she meant by this. "Huh?"

She tilts her head. "You know," she looks a little embarrassed. "To me."

"I never left you, Granger-Weasley."


	7. 6: The dungeon of my thoughts

**Chapter Six**

 _Scorpius_

 _The dungeon of my thoughts_

 _In other words, the Astronomy Tower_

* * *

"I know better than everyone. If more people listened to me then there wouldn't be so much trouble in the world."

I know my sister definitely meant this is a way where she would be the one to cure world hunger or there would never be any orphans around (though she is not great with kids, think scary, evil, creepy...) or maybe she would find the cure to Dragon Pox but it was hard to take her seriously when she was applying lipstick to her lips in Gryffindor red. Very interesting choice in colour.

Both Al and James watched her as she twirled that stick around her lips and I swear even at one point, Al licked his lips. I elbowed him in the ribs and he looked at me like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing and turned as red as my sister's lips.

James on the other hand rolled his eyes and threw a Slytherin cushion at her and she shot him a glare. "If everyone listened to you, blondey, then we would all be kissing your arse."

I hold back a snigger and put my feet up on the coffee table, waiting for whatever war that was going to ensue. "You're an idiot," Lee says. "You do realise that don't you? Or is your head so big it had to sacrifice the space where your brain would be."

"Well," he says tilting his head. "I mean it is a mighty fine arse."

Lee just stares at him with a blank face and Al looks from my sister to his brother and back then leans into my ear to say; "Am I the only one that wonders why he knows Lesath's arse is fine?"

I shrug not wanting to get into it. "Dunno."

"He's right," Al says flatly. "But something tells me he's seen it in the flesh."

"Mate. My sister, remember?"

It goes on like this for hours, or so it seems, James throws another cushion, Lee glares at him, he says something about how she plays to the colour of her hair, and she glares at him. He mentions his girlfriend, she yells at him.

"Heading off to see Rose," Al shouts over his shoulder as he gets up to leave.

"Heading off to see McKinnon, you mean?" I say with a grin. I would give Al that, when he set his mind to something, he will do it.

Al stops in his tracks and says; "Haha, no, no I'm not," in a not so convincing tone.

"You not following?" Lesath asks me. "Or are you still on a vendetta against Rose?"

This time I am the awkward idiot. "Haha, no, no I'm not."

Both of them just stare at me. Both of them watching to see what I say or they think I will stand up and run after Al, following him the Gryffindor Tower.

I would be lying if I said I didn't want to. All I dream about these days is her. I kissed her once on the porch of the Manor. I dream about that a lot. You know, because Third Year was our weird year. Everyone has a weird year. There's nothing more awkward than kissing your best friend. Or being a thirteen year old. I know the way her hair curls and the blue of her eyes. I know more than I should but my dreams... they betray me. They always have and they always will.

You learn a lot about somebody when you sit next to them in class. Out of six subjects, we share four. But for the past four years we had shared every subject. I know that when she got an answer wrong she makes this weird noise, like if you stand on the tail of a mouse. I know that when she is concentrating she chews the end of her quill and when she is nervous she bites her nails. I know that when she is angry she chews her bottom lip. Rose had a lot of cousins – but everyone knew that. She had one cousin, Roxanne, who played professional Quidditch and Molly's friend Leanne, well she had a foot fetish, according to Parkinson-Krum anyway. And after talking to Rose after Quidditch a few days ago, she didn't like Dion after all. But who would like him? I'm pretty sure his mum died during child birth because she hated him too. Or at least that's how it played out in my mind.

Hah! It is ironic that I should be the one to tell her relationship woes when he was the reason why we weren't mates anymore. I get so much satisfaction out of this that I can feel myself grinning which earns another look from my sister. I try to tame it, but the thought that Dion Wood was irritating to Rose was just too good for me. I hold on to the image in my mind when I tell him one day when he lost a Quidditch match, I start grinning to myself. It keeps me going for a while.

I look down at my Charms homework and it reminds me of Rose, her hand writing scribbled at the bottom of the parchment with notes.

She was such a know it all. But the thing was; she actually _knew it all_. I didn't know anyone that knew what she knew. She was the sort of person you would want in your group discussion in Transfiguration or on your Quidditch team as a Keeper, she was always a good Keeper. She was the sort of person you'd want to go to Muggle London with because she'd help you buy tickets for those buses or the sort who knew how to cook a meal Muggle style. She knew _stuff_. Zoe didn't exactly excel in classes and at one point she asked Lorcan for study advice.

 _Lorcan._

Being a know-it-all wasn't the only issue with Rose. She was loud; she could be annoying, she was always so damn angry! Her angry face was the funniest, the way she screwed up her nose and that piercing glare, sometimes I piss her off just to see that crease in between her eyes brows...

"Earth to Scor? Hello? Anyone behind those eyes?" says Lee.

I shove her hand away that's waving in my face. "What?" I snap. "Can't you see I'm studying?" Or day dreaming about Weasley's angry face.

"Huh. You _are_ alive. Your girlfriend is outside the Common Room, waiting for you."

"That's Zoe by the way, if you had forgotten," James says through a laugh. It wasn't funny; I knew exactly who my girlfriend was contrary to popular belief.

"Oh, that one," I say smacking my head as if I had forgotten. "Thanks for clearing that up, I thought you meant Courtney," I say sarcastically.

James snorts. "Or _Rose_ ," he says under his breath.

I see that my sister finds this comment amusing too because she laughs. I feel like saying for her to kiss James' arse but she's probably waiting for me to leave so she can.

I get out of their weird triangle of love and head out of the Common Room and sure enough, there is Zoe grinning back at me. She was wearing ' _weekend clothes_ ' as my dad would call them, never wanting to use the word ' _Muggle_ ', jeans, a singlet and a green cardigan. There was always something about a girl in Slytherin green.

I try my best to smile back at her, this morning had been a drag and as much as Weasley used to tell me that study was the best form of distraction, I would really have to enquire to see where she gets such information from. "Hey," I say to her.

Her eyes tell me she is excited to see me. It had been, after all, two days since we had really seen each other and as much as I try not to take my sister's words of wisdom seriously, 'All girls like a boy that needs fixing'.

I scoff to myself while standing in front of Zoe. I didn't need fixing, that would mean all I needed was a quick _Repairo_ and it would be over with. I needed Muggle style, the sort where they use the glue and tape and nails...

Zoe looks at me like I am going mad. "You ok?" she asks.

I nod and raise my eyebrows. "Oh yeah!" I say a little too enthusiastically.

"You made a weird noise." The word is scoff.

"Dust up my nose," I reply stupidly.

This seems to sway her and she wraps her arms around my waist and puts her head on my chest. She smells sweet. Vanilla. She always smells like vanilla.

I noticed that she always wanted to put her head on my chest. One might say it was because she wanted to hear my beating heart. I also find this ironic because for the last eight months or so I had tried to turn said heart into iron.

Through the summer, Zoe's family had moved nearby. I saw her on the street one day in one of mum's attempts at getting me out of the house so I wouldn't have to watch her cry. Even though the last few days before hand she hadn't bothered. That was an exceptional example of mum's parenting style: Say something or lay down rules but never follow through.

Zoe was everywhere I turned. She was in the streets, at the local markets, flying at the same local pitch. And then one day at the pitch she was close I could smell the vanilla and her lips were so inviting and she was so happy and she...

She wasn't a red head with a foul mouth.

"Are you even here today?" she asks me looking me dead in the eye.

It is obvious that I am here; she is literally holding me right now. Why do people keep asking me this? "Yes, sorry, so much to do for Charms..."

She doesn't seem so convinced by this answer. "We do the same Charms, what are you struggling with?" he eyes falter though. "Oh, I guess you're at the top of the class though."

I assume this is about the place where I should say something to encourage her to work harder in class, or you know, work at all. "Second from the top," I correct.

She purses her lips and takes a step back from me. "Yes, to Weasley. As always."

" _Granger_ -Weasley."

Zoe bats her lashes quickly. "Err," she says. "Right."

Her last sentence confirms that A) she is not happy with me and B) she is wondering why the hell I have corrected her for not saying _Granger_ -Weasley. "You don't understand, Rose corrects me every time."

"She corrects me too," she says a bit too quickly, gees, and she says that Rose doesn't bother her. She exhales to calm herself. "She corrects me too, I have lived with her for years, you know."

But Rose was my best friend and had been since First Year. Rose had been to my home and met my parents and stayed over with me at the Potters and was there when I first rode James' Nimbus and... Well, my first awkward, tongue tying kiss. So in theory, it should be more irritating for _her_ to have to correct me! "You're right," I say instead.

Zoe's yellow based eyes flicker, I could almost see them shaking. She was mad at me. It was somewhere between the frown on her face and her snapping at me that made me notice. I guess because I was just so observant.

Sarcasm.

"I don't know why we're even arguing about Rose," she replies quietly.

I nod. "I know, it's stupid!" I say, finally, something to turn me away from Rose. I throw up my hands in celebration which earns me a new sideways look from Zoe.

I grab onto Zoe's hips and pull her closer, the smell of vanilla was stinging my nose and makes me wonder if maybe the Scamander-Longbottom's had made her necklace of vanilla pods and if not, there goes a sales pitch. Her hips bump against mine, her chest somewhat squashed against mine and I really did appreciate a good set of tits through a singlet...

She was beautiful and she was mine and if I had another questioning look from Al or just straight up, _'why aren't you two sexing yet?'_ from Dorian Nott, I would have to do something about it.

* * *

You know your life has come to the end of all ends when you aren't a Prefect but you may or may not have told your best mate that you will go on Rounds with him.

My life had resorted to such extremes out of boredom and not realising that the thing called studying that will literally be the be all or end all of your life sucks. And it doesn't matter how rich your father is, you really don't want to be living off his money. It would seem that by the time I end things here and move on to the next phase, he would have probably ran away with Vera and they would have a completely different set of children and Lee and I would be there to dry mum's tears. Or at least I will.

"You could come on Rounds with me if you really want to get out of this place?" Al offers.

"Oh sure, because that is completely up my alley. Scorpius Malfoy the Non-Prefect just absolutely loves the Ravenclaw Towers," I say rolling my eyes.

"Your sarcasm really starts to get on my nerves. Dick," Al says.

As much as I struggle to communicate in anything other than sarcasm (it actually comes from both sides of the family), it is sad to say that not all of that was sarcasm. "I will come."

Al halts and spins around quickly. "Wouldn't you rather beat your head against a window?"

Huh, that did sounds tempting but I was lying around for so long that I could feel my eyes drying out from under my eyelids from staring at the ceiling, so maybe, the Ravenclaw Tower might actually do me some good. "Fuck you," I say and he looks at me guiltily. "I'm sure you would love nothing more mate, than to see my head lodged out a window."

He shrugs. "It wouldn't work out; you would be the sort of idiot to follow me around even after the grave."

The walk up to the tower was longer than I had anticipated. First years would stop Al to talk to him and second year girls would stop and stare at him and Third years wanted to be him. It had always been like this but got worse once he became a Prefect. And good old Scorpius Malfoy was there for the First Years to stare at like I was some sort of Judas.

We get to the Ravenclaw Tower and leaning on a door was Rose; "About bloody time I was going to pass out up here from boredom," but then she notices me. "Scorp?"

Al sighs and shoves his hands in his pockets; " _Scorp_ ," he says in a high-pitched voice. "What happened to Malfoy?"

"I do not sound like that Albus!" she snaps and Al turns red from Rose using his full name. And now he sulks.

I feel like my iron heart has faltered because what I was looking at right now was like old times. The three of us roaming around the castle, Rose arguing with Al, Rose arguing with me. Rose arguing...

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

"Surprise! I'm a Prefect!"

Rose's face lights up and then she realises I was joking. "Not funny – you deserved to be a Prefect! You're top of all our classes."

"Second only to you," I reply.

She smiles back but Al waves his arms in the air. "Excuse me! I am the real Slytherin Prefect, if he was then I wouldn't be!"

"Oh shut up," Rose hisses, "As if being Quidditch Captain wouldn't be enough for you next year!"

"Well they might make Scorp the Captain..."

We all start laughing, as if they would choose me over Albus Potter for Slytherin Quidditch Captain. There would be as much a chance of that as Rose failing every subject this year.

There was a loud crash and then a scream. "Shit," says Al, "I'll run and go and see what that is, you two keep watch out here."

"Oh yeah," I say rolling my eyes. "There's heaps to keep an eye on I don't know what to watch first."

Al shoots me a glare and runs off down the corridor leaving Rose and I by ourselves.

It had been a long time since we had been stuck together just us two, and now it had happened twice in two weeks. Merlin was punishing me.

She took long strides down the corridor and I scoff. "Are you avoiding me?" I ask her.

Rose was most definitely avoiding me because she spins quickly on her heels and the way her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were widened and her hair, well, a little less tamed than usual, told me so. "No way," she says instantly. "No-ho-ho."

"Er, right," I say and I sound just like Zoe.

I watch her curly hair bob up and down, the swing in her hips and she takes long strides again – most definitely avoiding me.

Al ways said there was a lot to be said about a silent Weasley. I had seen it in action when we were First Year. I stayed at the Potters house and James had got into Mr Potter's wand and managed to Hex all of Lily's hair off. Mrs Potter was silent for a long time that was until she strung James from the ceiling until he apologised to his sister. Mrs Potter was scary when she was silent. But I think there is more to be said about a silent Granger-Weasley, her mum _is_ skilled in Muggle fighting. Or so I am told by my dad.

I could count on with my hands how many times Rose has been this silent. I could count on _one_ hand. Rose didn't do silence well and that used to annoy the shit out of me.

"Look, Rose," I start but she turns to look at me.

"I don't want you to start talking to me and then it all goes down hill and you stop talking again, ok?" she says throwing her hands in the air. She stops and puts her hands down, taking a deep breath. "Sorry, I just had to get that out."

Typical Rose, blurting stuff out. I knew there was something more to her silence. I could read her better than she could read a book. "I won't," I tell her honestly. "I don't want to go through that again, ok?"

I lean against the wall in front of her and I can see her ears turning red, a tell-tale sign that she was not impressed. "Good," she says curtly. "So enough with the mind games, agreed?"

Mind games? I was not aware that this was a game to her. Maybe the whole Dion Wood hexing me was in fact all a game, if that was the case then the game was not as fun for me as it must have been for him. "There are no mind games, Rosie."

"Excellent!" she says, her hair flying all over the place. "It's dragged on for so long."

How can I tell her it has dragged on for so long because I needed to forget her? Or that all I think about is her and that prat she's with? Or that I wanted to carry on with my boring life but there were so many obstacles in the way? "Sorry," I say instead.

Her eyes grow larger and I can see her body releasing the tension. Maybe that would be all it takes to get Rose Granger-Weasley to stop being so uptight. If that was true, I should have said it a few years ago...

"You're sorry?" she says quietly.

Was I sorry? Sometimes I forget what I am sorry for. But I am sorry for losing one of my best friends. It was something I had been sorry for, for months.

She was dressed in her Gryffindor uniform. No jersey today, just her skirt, stockings, blouse and tie. She used to smile at me all the time. When I used to get good grades she'd always pat me on the back and tell me she always knew I would do well. She used to stand at the pitch, even if we had beaten Gryffindor and tell me I flew well. She would wait for me to get back from Christmas and give me something she had made for me as a present, always smiling.

Now she stares at me blankly. She had changed over the summer. Her face was thinner, her cheek bones were high and her hair was darker. Her body curved and her waist dipped in and her hips poked out and well... her chest had certainly grown. I had never noticed until she was standing in front of me now waiting for me to say something.

"You're not sorry," she concludes.

"I'm sorry. And I call truce."

She raises her eyebrows and looks at me. "Of course you'd be the one to call truce."

"I am," I say matter-of-factly, "because it seems I am the one losing."

She grins at me this time. "That's very noble of you."

I shrug, "You know us Malfoy's; as brave as Gryffindor's."

I was glad Al wasn't here for any of this because if he was, he'd either tell us both to shut up or he would tell me to piss off and get back to the Dungeons. I did feel a little awkward at the moment because I didn't fare well with telling people how I feel and sometimes I think that if I think too much about Rose, she will know I am thinking about her which was neither wise or good for me.

Al doesn't seem to be coming back any time soon and Rose seemed to think that maybe he had to take the kids to McGonagall's office for punishment. I wish I was a fly on the wall just to see the look on McGonagall's face.

Since the beginning of the year I had been sneaking to the Astronomy Tower in the night time for my evening smoke. Right now I could do with one and I summon the guts to ask Rose if she wants to come with me. "Wanna go with me somewhere?" I ask her.

She eyes me suspiciously. "Where?" she asks cautiously.

"To a Death Eater gathering."

Rose snorts. "Yeah, sure. You never told me you were a Death Eater these days."

"Just don't have my Dark Mark yet."

She follows me any ways and I head up towards the opposite tower. "I am starting to get rather worried. Especially since you thought it would be a good idea to turn up to Al's thirteenth birthday dressed as one..."

I push her shoulder gently and I feel like we're weird Third Years again. "Lucky you talked me out of it, what the fuck was I thinking?" I say laughing. "Rosie, I really don't want this to be our real weird year."

Rose eyes flicker to mine. "We still have enough time to fix it," she says easily. "I wouldn't worry about it too much."

"My sister keeps telling me not to worry," I tell her honestly. "But surely this year can't be as weird as our weird year."

Rose shakes her head. "Third year was _not_ our weird year!" she says loudly. "But your sister is right... for once... You do worry too much."

Rose was like most people in the school and did not find my sister the loveliest bunch of flowers on the stand. I don't know if it is because she doesn't put up with shit from people or because my sister has a tendency to tell people the worst about themselves...

"You don't think that Third Year was weird?" I ask her.

"Not in comparison to the last three months we've had here. Trust a Weasley and a Malfoy to start the grudge war."

I laugh. "Yeah but what about our kiss?"

Shit, I shouldn't have said that.

Rose spins to look me in the eye just like she has done several other times tonight. Rose always scared me when she did this. Like she would dig through my thoughts. "Did you think it was weird?"

No, I didn't. And I will never forget it. "Yeah," I say instead. "I guess."

We get up to the Astronomy Tower and I open the door.

It was the same as it always was. Breezy, borderline freezing and the stars were out. If people didn't understand why I enjoyed it up here then I don't understand them. I loved it up here and I loved the peace.

Rose looks around and then summons an old blanket that was lying in the corner then sits down on it. "Your new room?" she asks.

I nod. "Yeah, I come up here to smoke, I've got my bed over there in the corner," I say pointing to a three-legged chair in the corner of the room.

"Of course you do..."

I grab my packet of smokes out and put one in my mouth and offer her one. "Come on Weasley, live a little."

Rose eyes me again and shakes her head. "Live a little," she says quietly. "You won't be living long smoking these things."

She does, in fact grab one and I make a shocked face. "The goody-two-shoes Rose Weasley, smoking!" I clap my hand to my mouth. "Ring the Ministry!"

She scowls at me and puts her smoke in between her lips and I sit down next to her, bending forward to light her smoke.

She inhales and exhales cautiously, then takes the smoke out from between her lips to take a look at it. She had done this before. She must be able to tell I am wondering how she knows how to smoke because she says; "Roxie smokes and she coaxed me into doing it once. Or twice. Or maybe more."

This does not surprise me in the least.

We sit here, like old times when we used to lie down by the lake. It feels easy and at the same time, this is the most relaxed I've been in ages.

"You come here often?" she asks me.

"That's the best pick-up you can come up with, Weasley?" I say with a wink. "That's terrible. I expected better from you."

She prods me with her foot. "You know what I meant!"

I nod. "Lately yeah, almost every night. No one comes around here because it smells weird and Dumbledore died up here."

Rose swallows loudly. "You've always been terrible. Uggh, why did you say that?"

"I always lie, but not to you."

She sighs. "So you think I should be gentler on you because you're honest?"

"It always has been one of my greater attributes."

Rose smiles to herself. "I guess it has been."

I blow a cloud up into the air, watching it swirl and disappear. Most nights I could stay out here until after midnight, sometimes I would see Zoe first and then head off after that. I never knew how much I missed the company when I came out here, but I didn't want to tell Zoe in case one day she started following me all the time.

The stuff with my parents meant that I enjoyed a bit of alone time. Without my sister backing up my dad and without Al and all his bouncing positivity. Sometimes I just wanted to be a dick-head-lonely-arsed-Malfoy.

With Rose though, it was different. Her new found silence was fitting up here in the Astronomy Tower.

I laid down on the concrete and sighed, it was so nice being up here and actually having company. She eyes me suspiciously though. "Looks so comfy down there," she says sarcastically.

I pat the floor next to me. "Plenty of room for you to fit in."

She smiles at me and sits down next to me anyway, crossing her legs. She plays with a strand of her hair. "I thought a lot more would happen this year, but it feels nothing has happened at all – apart from you losing your voice and capability to write," she says with a shrug.

She keeps mentioning the fact that she thinks I couldn't talk. "You're so weird," I say. "It's like you have convinced yourself that there was something really wrong with me."

I always tried to hold back laughter when she turned red and I was struggling with it right now. "I did not!"

"I think you did," I say pointing at her ears. "Your ears are telling me!"

"Thanks for not thinking I'm a bitch, Malfoy," she says turning even redder. "You make me feel like shit for holding a grudge but you're not holding it against me, that's really nice."

"Like I've said, Malfoys are as nice as Hufflepuffs!"

"You probably would have been more suited to Gryffindor," she says cheerily. "Imagine that, us in the same house! We would never sleep!"

I choke on my smoke and my eyes widen, "What do you mean?"

Her eyes grew wide too. "Shit, I meant like we would be up chatting all bloody night, what did you _mean_?"

"Sure you did," I say with a wink. I was looking up at her, her blue eyes and her wide grin, her long hair framing her face. No longer two First Years trying to keep each other from getting homesick.

"Malfoy," she says. "Let's just forget about the whole Dion thing, ok?"

Thank Merlin, her head is still screwed on! "Sure," I say coolly.

She seems relieved by this. "Thanks," she says. "For coming back."

I didn't know what she meant by this. "Huh?"

She tilts her head. "You know," she looks a little embarrassed. "To me."

"I never left you, Granger-Weasley."

"Hah, you said my name."

I had never left her, but fuck, I wish she would leave my head. My dreams are going to be messed up and I pray Zoe can't see them in my eyes tomorrow morning.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ Hey guys! I am not getting so much interest in this so I may move onto something else... Not sure yet. I will see. I should really just finish this one until the end before moving on as I am notorious for half finishing things! Please review, I appreciate all reviews! Shout out to my friend Bekah or StupendousMysticWerewolf, go and read her fics too.

 _Preview:_

 _He looks down at his feet. "Because I had a major crush on my best mate."_

 _What was he saying? Did he mean me? Surely not. Well, maybe. Possibly. It was me? "And how did Al feel about that?" I say trying to play it cool._

 _"I'm not sure what he would have thought; I didn't tell him I had a crush on his cousin."_


	8. 7: The more you know, the worse you feel

**Author's Note: Reviews are my payment, so pay me in reviews!**

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

 _The more you know, the worse you feel_

 _Now I feel like kicking myself in the teeth_

* * *

"You came in late last night."

Belle stands at the bottom of my bed with her hands on her hips.

"Well spotted," I say putting down my book.

"You come in late last night and I don't see you all day today, you didn't even go into the Library and you love that dusty old place!" Belle moans while pulling on her night shirt.

"I was busy," I say with a shrug.

"Late-night sex-fest? Am I right? Or just a bit of groping? I won't tell anyone, I swear!" Belle says out loud.

"You literally just told everyone in the room!" I groan from under my pillow.

"Ignore them, they don't need to hear this -" Belle is cut off.

"But we did hear it," Nina calls from her bed.

"We all heard it!" Daisy says from the bathroom.

I half expect to hear Zoe to say something but she hasn't said anything to me in a long time. I am the greatest at getting friends to stop talking to me, I should make a business out of it, and I could make a shit load of money.

"There was no late night sex-fest. Or groping-fest. Or any other type of fest!" I say to them all.

Belle looks disappointed. "You see, this is why I don't like Dion. He is a prat. Actually, this is why I don't like boys!"

"You do like boys, admit it!" Nina says and she genuinely looks annoyed by Belle right now.

"Fine! Some of them I wouldn't mind getting a bit of tongue in but a majority of them are dicks! Literally and figuratively!" Belle says then she holds her face in her hands, obviously a little ashamed of herself.

"You're right. Most of them are dicks," Nina agrees.

Belle waves both her hands in the air and shakes her head. "Now we're getting off topic, so," she says flicking her hair over her shoulder. "A busy night last night with Wood, huh? He finally pulled his head out of his arse?"

How do I say that it was in fact a late night lying in the Astronomy Tower with Malfoy without having to say anything at all? "Yes," I reply.

"Details?" Daisy says from across the room and both Belle and I stare at her. Since when were Daisy and Nina involved in anything to do with us? I'm pretty sure those two wouldn't even notice if I had died unless Nina's dad, Lee, announced it over the radio.

"There are no details," I say picking up my book again. "I told you, there was nothing exciting. It was the opposite of exciting, in fact!"

Everyone seems disappointed in my lack of excitement. It was true though, nothing was exciting about Dion anymore and I wondered what the hell I was doing wasting my time. I barely saw him and even if I did, I didn't genuinely want to spend time with him. I felt guilty about this, but sometimes I think I get more enjoyment staring at the ceiling all day. At least it didn't talk about Quidditch all the time.

Belle comes and sits by me and put her hands back on her hips. "Life is too short to be with a guy whose head is up a Snitch all day, Rose."

I sigh, I knew that. "Thanks for the pep talk, mum."

"Well I know your mum would prefer you were happy!"

"And who says I am not happy?" I say defensively, but Belle wasn't stupid and that sometimes made things very hard when I was trying to pull the wool over my friend's eyes.

"You haven't been happy in let's say... eight months!"

"Shush!" I hiss through my teeth. I shoot a look over at Zoe's bed to make sure she didn't hear but her curtains were drawn.

Belle gives me what I supposed to be an innocent look. "Sorry, but it's true. And you have deal with it!"

"Belle..." I start. "I-I-"

She puts her hand to my mouth. "Shut up, don't talk. We've all been there, done that, wanted someone we can't have; it's all part of the mystery, isn't it?"

"Oh and who was the person you wanted and can't have?" I ask quietly.

Belle laughs. "Not me, silly. I'm the one they can't have!"

Oh, because my friend wasn't big headed at all.

* * *

I was standing in the Sixth Year boy's dorm and I watched Dion put things away in his trunk. Christmas was so close I could practically smell Nana's roast chicken and I could hear the laugh of Teddy and I could see Roxie so clearly, it was in that moment that I realised I was home sick. Mum would be here tomorrow and I was happy about seeing her and a good, old fashioned hug from my mum wouldn't go astray and I hope she brings me some of her homemade pies with her. I kick myself for not being more on the ball and owling her a week ago so she could organise something but then there would also be the issue of hiding them from Hugo.

Dion grabbed his wand off the bedside table and it brings back what Malfoy had said to me about the scar on his chest from where Dion prodded him so many times with small jolts, he scarred him.

It makes me feel a queasy that his very wand was the one that damaged Malfoy and before I have a chance to stop myself I blurt out; "You hurt him."

Dion stops what he is doing and turns around, confused about what I had just said and I know, deep down, that he has no idea what I am referring to. "What did you say?"

I sigh and put down a t-shirt I was holding of his. "Scorpius," I stutter, "I mean Malfoy. You hurt him."

Dion nods as in yeah, sure I did. "Yeah?"

"Well, he has a big scar on his chest where the jolts went through when you two were fighting."

Dion scoffs, "What about this," he says and he looks rather stupid pointing at his nose. "He broke it, there were no -"

I cut him off. "Yes, yes, I know. No spells that could heal it."

Dion doesn't look impressed by my knowledge of his nose. It was only really now that I notice the light colour of his eyes and how defined his shoulders are. And just how crooked his nose was now. Maybe it's because he looks extremely tense.

"How do you know about this scar?" he asks a tone of disgust.

"He told me."

"On his chest?"

"Yes." Merlin, you would think he would know considering he is the one who did it!

"You've seen him with no shirt on then?"

My shake my head and roll my eyes. Of course, it had turned into some sort of territorial thing. "No!"

He huffs, "You seem to know a lot about him."

"Of course I do!" I cry. "He was my best friend for years!"

"Why would you be?!" he snaps back.

"Because!" I say. I don't even know why we were friends, we just were. I had ever been questioned by someone as to why I was friends with him, sure, maybe my dad did but that was harmless. "I don't need a reason!"

"Sure you don't," he mumbles.

"Well why do you hate him so much?"

"Because."

"So you're allowed to use that excuse but I'm not?"

He kicks his trunk at the bottom of his bed and looks down. "Because you like him! That's why! How could you like that slime ball? He's an idiot!"

"He's not an idiot!" I yell too quickly. "And I don't _like_ him!"

"I know he's not an idiot because he's the top of all his classes -"

"Second from the top -"

"And he's a good flyer! He has girls all over him-"

"Not me!"

"I know!" Dion groans. "I _know_ and apparently I have to be reminded about how you're _not_ chasing after him by every bloody person! As If maybe you _should_ be chasing after him."

I stand there stunned. I wish that James would come out from under his bed and tell me this whole thing is a set up because I am currently having the most stupid argument with my boyfriend and I honestly do not feel an ounce of anything about this right now. In fact, I feel liberated. As if everything I had ever wanted to say to Dion was waiting for this one moment.

"I don't want to chase after Malfoy."

"And you shouldn't. Because his dad is a Death Eater -"

"Was!"

"And Malfoy waltz around here like he owns the place and don't even get me started on his _sister_ ," he puts his hand up to stop me from talking. "Don't even say that his sister is some Saint or something."

I just shrug. "No, I wasn't, I agree."

He doesn't find my comment funny and instead he just glares at me. "Everyone loves Malfoy and his Dad is the biggest idiot around and so is he!"

"Actually, his dad is a nice guy..."

"Rose!" he moans. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I know Draco Malfoy is a git sometimes but I don't think your dad is so against him!"

"This has nothing to do with Draco Malfoy! I don't even know why you keep bringing him up! You know what?" Dion picks up his wand, shoves it in his pocket and grabs his broom. "I'm going," he says quickly. "You really can't get anything I am saying into that brain of yours can you? I might have had a better chance getting it into Scorpius' brain considering he is so smart too. Second to you, did you know?"

Dion storms out of his dorm and then I hear a yell. "Fuck!" he shouts, "Why are you everywhere? He's not in there so fuck off or I will tell Leah you're here!"

I stand staring at the door, not knowing what to think. Or why the hell Dion is shouting to the high heavens.

Then Lesath Malfoy walks in.

"Shit, Weasley. What'd you do to that one? Bite his dick off?"

Fucking hell.

* * *

I tell Belle all about my run in with Dion and how I didn't see him tea time and the fact that I didn't even know if we were still together. Belle looks pleased with this information, like she had predicted this all along and part of me wonders if maybe she does have Crystal Ball reading skills.

"And then Lesath Malfoy walks in!"

"What?!" she says crawling closer to me.

The dorm was quiet and everyone had gone to sleep. Zoe had managed to find her way back to her bed by our usual ten P-M bed time and Nina and Daisy were in bed even earlier. Belle and I were tucked in early too and we drew the curtains of my bed. Part of me felt bad because Zoe would usually be in here with us too. And she always loved a good bitch about Lesath Malfoy.

"Yup," I say. "She walks into the dorm and I was standing there and it was hell, Belle!"

Belle sighs. "That girl is the best looking thing in the school," she admits. "It's a pity she speaks Parseltongue."

I laugh. "She definitely seems like the Heir of Slytherin."

"Only when she opens her mouth. That's probably why James likes her," she says with a shrug. "So, tell me what happened!"

~[..]~

Lesath stood staring at me and looked like she had swallowed a bee.

Of course, me being the awkward creature that I am, turned to Lesath and smiled, "Hey Lee!" I said a little too enthusiastically as if we were friends, "How've you been, Lee?"

This of course earned a glare from her. "I didn't realise we were on nickname basis, _Rosie_ ," she said in the exact condescending way as her brother. It was nice to see that some traits run through the family.

We stood there awkwardly in the Sixth Year boy's dorm. "So," I started. "What are you doing in here?" I asked.

Lesath scoffed. "I could say the same to you!"

"You really couldn't," I snapped back. "My boyfriend lives in here... does yours?"

I couldn't believe my eyes. Lesath Malfoy was floored. She didn't know what to say and I wanted to call _Witch Weekly,_ me, Rose Granger-Weasley was the one to stop Lesath Malfoy in her tracks. I needed to tell someone, I needed Belle here to do my victory dance.

Lesath smiled back at me and flattened her school blouse – which by the way did not cling to every non-existent roll on her body – and took a step forward, "I see you boyfriend is quite upset about something. Too many Bludgers to the head?"

"I think you're trying to make that an insult but it's not really working."

Lesath actually laughed, as in she was smiling and moving her chest and she made these sounds like she was happy. I find this quite scary, actually. "Hmm." is all she said.

We stood there in a little more awkward silence. "I should probably go..." I said.

She nodded. "Oh, Rose," she said as I was about to leave.

"Yes," I said when I reached the door.

"If you tell anyone I was here, you'll regret it. Oh, and if you do anything to mess with my brother again. I know where to bury bodies."

I knew she was bluffing but it still scared me to be on the wrong side of Lesath Malfoy. "James does too; maybe you two have killed people together? By the way I didn't do anything to mess with your brother, Lesath. He stopped talking to me."

"And now he's back talking to you."

"Yeah..."

"My brother has enough on his mind; he doesn't need more mind games."

"Why does everyone call them mind games?" I asked.

She smiled again. "Don't lead him on and then ditch him, again, ok? I've picked up that git from the ground numerous amounts of times because of you."

~[..]~

"That was it?" says Belle, unable to contain her disappointment.

"What were you expecting?" I ask, "For her to actually kill me?"

"She's a concerned sister," she says, "That's what siblings do! Don't tell me you wouldn't get your wand out if someone did that to Hugo!"

"Did what? I didn't do anything!"

"Oh you know what I mean, like mess with his emotions or love him but try and deny it."

I sigh and run my hands over my face. Today had been too long and too frustrating. Not knowing what was happening with Dion didn't do me any wonders either. The feeling I had was that I needed to drink and apart from what Teddy has given me on occasion and the Champaign Uncle Harry gave me on our birthday, I wasn't a drinker at all. "It doesn't make you wonder what Lesath is doing up in James dorm all the time?"

"I honestly have better things to deal with than sitting down and wondering what James Potter is doing with Lesath Malfoy. And yes, in fact I do wonder what he is doing with her all the time."

I laugh, this was the Belle I knew and loved. With her head screwed on reeeaaal tight. Yeah right.

"I would hate if Leah gets dragged into this," I say quietly.

"Same here. I am sure Lesath and James are just friends," she says tilting her head. "Just like a mermaid takes to land."

"Scorp and I are just friends though," I say.

Belle scoffs. "Like I said, like a mermaid takes to land."

* * *

I never had much self-control, or a brain, and sometimes I think my legs control themselves because I would be in bed and then the next minute, in a completely different place filled with regrets.

The look on Malfoy's face tells me he is surprised to see me standing here in my pyjamas, or maybe he is surprised to see me at one o'clock in the morning. Either way, he is surprised. He was standing in front of me with the door open and his mouth open just as wide, still dressed in his school uniform.

He could stand here watching me like I was a Hippogriff but it was damn cold out here and I needed to get inside. "It's cold."

He looks over his shoulder to the open window ways. "Not exactly Fiji in here either," he says.

I did not have time for his games! I did not have time to even be here but I was standing here. "I'm freezing my tits off, Malfoy."

He gives me one of his lopsided grins. "We wouldn't want that now, would we?" he moves his hands in front of me as if announcing something; " _Girl loses breast from freezing, falls off on school grounds. Friend attempts to reattach breast and dies from horrendous sight!"_

"Hilarious, when they publish the story, please leave a copy on my grave," I say pushing through him to get into the Astronomy Tower. I make my way to the edge of the room where there was a half wall and looked out over the grounds of the school, I haul myself up onto the wall and sit. No one used this tower since Dumbledore died here. And in all honesty, it made me feel a little uncomfortable knowing that Scorpius hung out in here, but he enjoyed the quiet and I could understand that now that I am in here. It was quiet and angsty and that was a lot like him.

Malfoy takes his time walking towards me and he stops just in front of me, almost touching my legs that were hanging down the walls. It had been a long time since we were this close.

"Want a smoke?" he asks me but this time, I decline. If mum ever found out I was smoking she would pull up all the statistics both Muggle and Wizard and have me study them for a lifetime. She was going to be here tomorrow and I could not risk her smelling the smoke coming out of my pores.

"No thanks," I say with a grin. "My mum is going to be here and she will smell it on me." I couldn't wait to see my mum and I could hardly contain it at the moment.

"I take it you don't wash twice a day then, huh?"

"Very funny," I say with a roll of my eyes. "I don't think my mum will appreciate my smoking nor will she forgive you for letting me do so."

Malfoy just nods and takes a drag of his smoke. "Fair enough. I wouldn't forgive me either if you were my daughter."

"I think you would hope your daughter didn't have a friend that ignored her for months."

"My daughter will have a better friend than me," he says waving his smoke in the air. "A smart friend who was top of all classes and bought out the best in my daughter – who also wasn't a dude."

I laugh, "I see you have all your future planned out."

He shrugs, "Nothing better to do with my time these days, better spend it figuring out what I'm going to do when I leave this place."

"I see you've become very philosophical these last few months."

He doesn't say anything; in fact, he stands in silence almost leaning on my legs. The silence becomes airy, like he could turn at any moment, into a Vampire or a Dementor. Either one of these are very likely. "What are you doing here anyways, Rosie?"

I wanted to tell him about Dion, about his sister and how his girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore and shit, studying has really become a chore to me. "Just needed a break from Belle," I say.

"I can see why. McKinnon is a handful."

I push against him with my leg. "Don't say that, Belle is a good friend."

"I don't doubt that she is. She is observant; she can tell when something is up."

"I see you pay as much attention to Belle as every other guy in the school," I say with a scowl.

Scorpius exhales. "She's good looking, don't you think?" he says with a wink.

"Wouldn't have noticed," I try to say easily but he could probably hear the hitch in my voice. "So you come up here to think about Belle?" I ask trying to sound as if I didn't care.

But if I had to hear about yet another guy who thought as Belle as the most beautiful thing in the school with two legs I would have to Hex myself.

Malfoy moves away and then leans on the wall next to me. "My parents broke up, Rose."

It's like the silence in the room became louder, if that was even a thing. I open and close my mouth, trying to think of something to say but the words aren't coming. "What?" I say.

"My dad cheated on my mum. They broke up. That's why I come here."

This couldn't be right. Draco and Astoria couldn't break up. She was one of the strongest women I knew. She literally turned the biggest idiot in the war into a semi-decent guy; she raised an all right excuse for man as a son. She could have done better with her daughter, but it is hard to escape those genes, right? Draco... well, ok, he cheated on his wife. That was the issue right there.

I can see the look on Malfoy's face. He was defeated. "Scorp..."

He laughs a little but it is completely without humour. "I know. What a joke, right? Me, crying about mummy and daddy. It shouldn't get to me as much as it does. This happens all the time, right? People break up. It's life."

I shake my head, no; it was fine to not be ok. He knew that. "Scorp, it's not a joke. I would be upset too if it were my mum and dad."

I try and reach out to his hand. I pat it awkwardly and then retreat again. Was this how you were supposed to comfort a friend in this scenario? He had just told me something really serious about his family. He trusted me.

"I don't even know what Christmas is going to be like," he says. Some Christmases he would spend them with us and the Potters and Nana would knit him a jersey too. "But I should probably go and be with my mum and sister."

"That makes sense," I say stupidly. As if he just told me he was getting a broom for Christmas.

"That's what I'm most sorry for, Rosie."

"What are you sorry for? You have nothing to be sorry for!" I say.

This time he reaches for my hand. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you. Because this was the time I really needed to fucking talk to you."

I feel the weight of his hand on mine; I feel the cold touch of his fingers. I see the sadness on his face, the way his blond hair was messy like he hadn't had a proper groom in a long time. Maybe he didn't have the time to anymore. Maybe he spent all day owling his mum or comforting his sister or wondering how the hell his dad could do that to his family. "I'm always here to talk to, you know that."

"I couldn't even tell Al. He has better things to do than to babysit me."

"Lucky I am such a good babysitter," I say with a laugh. "Ask Teddy and Vic, they get me to babysit Remus all the time."

Malfoy laughs. "I guess you would do a better job than Teddy would."

"I bet Teddy doesn't even know he has a kid most of the time."

"Cut the guy some slack," Malfoy says with a grin. "He just enjoys a bit of Firewhiskey every now and then."

"I could do with some Firewhiskey," I say seriously.

"Me too."

We sit in silence for a while. "You don't have any, do you?"

He laughs. "Shit, do you think I break every rule in this school?"

"At least ninety-nine percent."

He nods. "Ok, so that is why I didn't get Prefect then huh?"

"No!" I say loudly. "That is bullshit that you didn't get it!"

"Bullshit, shitbull, it's all the same."

"Did you just make that up? If so, it sucked."

Malfoy sighs; "I obviously wasn't Prefect material."

"If you weren't Prefect material then what type are you?"

"Must be Death Eater."

I roll my eyes. "You really do suck."

The silence takes over again and I almost wish for a cricket to chirp or a bird to fly in and attack us or even Al to barge in and interrupt this little bonding session just to get out of the seriousness of the moment. Scorpius starts running his top teeth over his bottom lip just as he always does when he is nervous but I decide against bringing it up.

"You remember our weird year?"

"You mean Fourth Year?" I ask.

"I don't know why you insist on saying that was our weird year!"

Of course it was our weird year! It was the year that Al had an undercut and the year that I used to wear blue stockings with my uniform and the worst part about that was not only were they ugly but it was only a year ago! "It was our weird year!"

"I guess it had something to do with those weird stockings you used to wear but that wasn't the weirdest thing," he says with a shrug.

I feel my ears turning red. He was a mind reader, he had to be. He knew I hated that weird phase of mine. "At least I didn't wear glasses in my second year."

I see him flush this time. "Shut up!" he says. "Lots of kids who don't even need glasses wear them because of your Uncle and Al still wears glasses!"

"I see you have thought this argument through."

"I had an actual eye problem, remember?"

"You have reminded me from time to time," I say under my breath.

Malfoy shakes his head, "Back to what I was saying, in which you are probably right in a way because it was Third Year into Fourth Year that were weird for me."

"And what was so weird about them?"

He looks down at his feet. "Because I had a major crush on my best mate."

What was he saying? Did he mean me? Surely not. Well, maybe. Possibly. It was me? "And how did Al feel about that?" I say trying to play it cool.

"I'm not sure what he would have thought; I didn't tell him I had a crush on his cousin."

I choke on my words. "Me?" I say quietly.

He's grinning at me now. "Yeah, took me a while to get over it you know. But summer came and Zoe came with it so now I don't have to worry about it like I used to. I used to think about how Al would kill me – or you because you've always been a bit like _that_ \- "

"What do you mean like _that?"_ I snap.

"That's exactly what I mean by _that_! Snappy!"

I frown. "Still don't know what you mean," I mumble.

"But now you have Dion and I have Zoe and shit, my weird days are over thank-fucking-Merlin."

"You've got a lot to say tonight, don't you?" I say flatly.

"Good company, easy chatting."

I didn't have anything more to say to Malfoy. He had a school-crush on me; I had one on him too. He was over it and I didn't know if I was. He had Zoe and apparently I had Dion and that was the end of that. My heart couldn't stop racing knowing he had a crush on me, but what did that matter when we were thirteen years old.

Malfoy had a lot to say but not one little bit was good. Not one little bit.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, so I will finish this fic until the end! Please review! Honestly, review. Please. I beg you!

 _Preview:_

He slings his robes over his shoulder and looks at me. I don't remember being so close to him. I could smell him, I could feel the heat coming off his body, I can see right into the pupils of his eyes, the marks on his face and the scar on his lip from when I accidently hit him in the face with a broom back in First Year flying training. I can see the crease on his forehead and I can also see he is so much taller than me now, I feel like a dwarf.

He bends down closer, his lips brush my cheek. "Happy Christmas, Rosie."


	9. 8: Christmas Eve, eve

**Chapter Eight**

 _Christmas Eve, eve_

 _Merry-Fucking-Christmas, Rosie_

* * *

Everyone watched as Malfoy took a seat at the Gryffindor table. Even Louis made a noise which meant he had noticed the change, or should I say, change _back,_ of Malfoy sitting here next to me.

He piled his plate high with food, or rather, just jam toast which was his favourite food, and grinned at the Weasleys and Potters sitting with us. "Nice day, isn't it? Shit, I had forgotten how better the toast was on the Gryffindor table," he announces to the table.

Hugo looks up from the paper he was reading to look at Malfoy. "Bread is bread, toast is toast... it's all the same."

"Not quite the same over there, Hugo. You should try it someday. It's real dry."

Hugo obviously can't understand what Malfoy is trying to say; "Toast is meant to be dry. It's toast."

James who was sitting on the other side of me leaned into my ear. "Is he high? Or is he lost?"

I shake my head. "Shush, we're friends again!" I hiss back.

James says nothing more but looks at me as he takes a sip of his juice. "Happy families, huh?"

Yes. Happy families. Malfoy used to always sit with us and then stopped when things got weird. But now he was back and it was like old times.

I grin back at Malfoy and hold up the juice to him, offering to pour him one. "Why thank you Rosie!"

This was a little too much, he was full to the brim with happiness this morning and I keep my mind from travelling down the Zoe path otherwise I might 'accidently' spill the juice down his shirt if I did. "You're welcome."

The table starts emptying, Belle gives me a wink and Al pats Malfoy on the back and Molly just eyes me like I am some sort of criminal. In the end it is just Malfoy and I sitting here.

"Ah," he says patting his very annoyingly so, stomach. "What a morning!"

"What are you so happy about?" I ask him now, also eyeing him.

"I appreciate the normality around here!" he replies. "Nothing like sitting down here having breakfast with my favourite Gryffindor," he says and he reaches up to pinch my cheek. "You're so cute when you're suspicious!"

I roll my eyes. "Look, just because we're on talking terms again, doesn't mean you can pinch me like a baby!" I say swatting his hand. "Besides, I don't want to give Zoe another reason to hate me."

He nods. "Girls, am I right? So moody."

"She's _your_ girl!" I whine. "Sort her out, tell her we're friends and we can talk again!"

He laughs. "Woah, I never asked for you two to fight over me," he says with a wink which yet again earns another swat. "Ok, I will talk to her."

I give a sigh of relief. Once this was dealt with then I would also appreciate the normalcy of things around here. "Thanks. My mum is going to be here shortly so I better go and get to class so I can duck out early, you want to come and see my mum too?"

"Probably not. I don't want to hear what she has to say about my voice being lost or what I can do to mend my Owl's wing..."

Godric, Malfoy had been rolling with those jokes these days.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It didn't matter where we were or what time of the day it was or even if we were in the middle of the Great Hall eating our lunch, I would know that voice anywhere.

She called out to us, "Weasleys! Potters!"

"Your mum's coming," Hugo says without even looking up from his bowl of porridge.

"Your mum's here!" says Al standing up straight away.

"She's your mum too, Hugh," I say and I can hear the clink of her shoes on the tiles.

I would never get used to the way people still stare at mum like she's a god of sorts. Or goddess. People still stop her to kiss their snotty-nosed children or get her to hold their wand and every single year, at least once a term; she comes here to do the organising of our careers expo.

I didn't know how I felt about mum being here this time. This time it is me who is doing a careers expo this year now that I'm in my Fifth. There was a huge deal about me doing something great because of my parents that sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to curse my hands off.

"Aunt Hermione!" Al cries and she wraps her arms around Al's neck, Al looking at both me and Hugo over mum's shoulder grinning.

Mum always had a soft spot for Al and it earns him a piece of bread being flicked at him from Lily.

"Billy!" mum says bending down to kiss Lily which then earned Al a death sentence from Lily because he is the only one that still calls her Billy. She will also hold this against mum until after Christmas as well.

Hugo huffs. "Hello, mother. Here we are, your _actual_ children."

"You know, the two humans you actually pushed out of your -" mum stops me there.

"Oh my babies!" she says planting a big kiss on both of our foreheads. "Hugo, why so surly? And Rose, please, remember? Table talk?"

Hugo turns to give mum a proper hug. "I'm not surly," he says seriously.

"Hmmm," she says unconvinced. "Sure. Not your father's son at all." This right here is where I get the sarcasm from.

I turn to give mum a hug too and the smell of her perfume is so comforting, I hadn't realised how much I missed it. "I missed you mum," I say against her.

Mum hugs me tighter, "It's only been a few months, Rosebud. Have you been eating? Studying? Because you know they go hand in hand, food is very much the fuel that will keep you going through this time, now, have you organised your schedule? Do you know which exam comes first? Your careers advisory meeting is coming up, after all, that is why I'm here isn't it oh!" she says and she smiles at Al, "and of course to come see my favourite kids, Oh!" she looks down the table at Louis, "Of course you too, Louis!" she says waving at him.

We all laugh at Louis' expense because as usual, he was hidden at the end of the table without so much as a hello.

"Oh and Lily-Billy, your mum wanted to make sure you were ok for _items_ ," mum says thinking she was being discreet. Lily turns a bright shade of red, ok; she was turning into her mother right in front of our eyes.

Hugo sniggers and leans into my ear. "Lils is going to explode."

"Sort of like how Hermione is exploding with word-vomit right now," I reply.

"Al," she starts on him this time but he seems more than accepting of mum's word-vomit and looks like he is more than glad to be the bucket. "Dad wants you to put down the broom and concentrate on your Charms."

Al chokes on his toast and mum just sits there grinning at him. "What?" he says.

Mum waves her hand at him. "Ok, he doesn't but I've seen your marks and well..."

Everyone knows what it means when mum is _'and well..._ '- ing them. She has been snooping around in their school work again.

It goes on like his for some time before Hugo tries to run away and Al holds him back and Lils is put out by mum saying her nickname and James getting a lecture from mum about how he should at least spend Christmas Eve with his parents rather than our house and Louis being, well, _Louis_.

They all head off back to class and it is just mum and I for my free period and I wonder that maybe I did want to go to class after all...

"I am not happy with James," she says. "He's so broody like his father was. Thinks we're all mind readers..." Mum trails off.

"James is the least of my problems at the moment."

"Oh?" mum says, cocking an eyebrow. "And what are your problems? If it's Charms, I really think you should concentrate on wand movements, I wouldn't mind putting you into classes, your dad has always had a heavy hand," I block out most of what my mum is saying because she always gets like this when she hasn't seen me for a while, as if this would be the last chance she would ever get to tell me anything.

Shit, I was a terrible child. Maybe she would think this could be the last time she gets to talk to me. I mean, she's been through it before – the unknown.

"I missed you mum," I tell her honestly.

Mum looks at me with a frown. "Is it boy trouble?"

And to think that mum sucked at Divination.

I shrug and kick a stone across the ground. "Maybe."

"I mean, your father always liked Oliver Wood, I never knew him well but you would think his sons would have turned out a little more like him, wouldn't you?"

I honestly wouldn't have a clue. Maybe they were more like their mother.

Maybe their mother was a Quaffle.

"I don't know, mum."

"He's not making you do things you don't want to do is he?!" she says a little too loudly for my liking.

"Gee, thanks mum! I always wanted the whole school to know my business," I say rolling my eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes! And besides, it's my business!"

"There is no business!" I hiss back. "I just don't think I want to be with him anymore."

Mum sighs and wraps an arm around my shoulders. "I think that would be the best thing your father has heard in a long time."

We keep walking around the grounds. Whenever I did this with mum, she always stared out across the grounds as if they were taking her back to when she was my age. It was tough having Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley as your parents, they always made my problems feel so small next to theirs.

"Have you been keeping an eye on James?" mum asks. "You know he needs the attention of a new born."

"What about Hugo?" I reply. "My actual brother."

Mum laughs. "James might as well be your brother, too. But how is he?" she asks seriously. "Don't you tell him I told you, but, he might have to do Sixth Year classes next year."

"Oh and I'm sure he'll take the news marvellously!" I say sarcastically.

Mum whacks my arm. "Don't be like that, Rosebud, we need to nurture him!"

"Mum," I say carefully. "Why do we have to be the ones to nurture him, he has his own parents, you know, Harry and Ginny Potter, live the street over from us..."

"Oh hah-hah," mum says, and she rolls her eyes at me even though I get growled at like a ten year old when I do it. "He's a handful and he asked to stay with us and that is that."

That was not that but I didn't press on about James. "What about Teddy?"

"Edward?" mum says with a smirk. "Well the last I saw Teddy he was lying on the floor of Hugo's room a few days ago so I shut the door on him. He might've left then or he could still be there when you two get home tomorrow, we'll have to wait and see."

"Another successful conversation with Vic then, I take it?"

"Your cousin is... High maintenance."

"You didn't even try to come up with something nice to say, mum!"

"It is hard trying to remain positive all the time," she says. "Anyway, I noticed that Scorpius Malfoy has excellent marks!"

Of course she would notice that, everyone did. Why did she have to mention him? Why was mum so observant? Shit, did she know I had a cigarette with him because if she did, she was waiting to kill me. I can feel it.

"He's second to me mum," I say grumbling.

Mum pats me on the back and pulls me closer. "Your father and I are so proud!" she says. "Have you put any thought into what you want to do after school? Don't feel pressured into becoming a Quidditch player, we have enough of them in the family anyway," she says with a wink. "But you know, you've always had a caring nature and maybe Healing would be down your ally..."

I snort. "Mum? Are you talking about the right daughter here? Me? Rose Granger-Weasley!"

Mum seems to have realised that she was talking about me, "Ok, I know you don't have a great track record of keeping things alive, you know, with the cat and everything," she says as if it wasn't a big deal.

"I literally had one job and it was to keep the cat alive."

"Your father didn't like the cat anyway so I'll let you off this one and say that your dad had a hand in it. And Crookshanks was rather old."

"You're crazy, woman."

Mum laughs. I don't seem to think of death as an amusing subject. "Dead cats aside, you have always been gifted in Potions and you do well in Defence Against the Dark Arts and you have always wanted to help people, I don't see why you wouldn't fit in as a Healer."

Me, Healer Rose Ginevra Jean Granger-Weasley. There was ring to it. I did have the stomach for it, blood doesn't faze me and I liked looking at broken bones, skin grafts and the like.

"There goes my career as a Quidditch player," I say with a small smile.

Mum elbows me. "At least I can say to your father that I steered you away from being an Auror."

We talk until my mouth hurts and then we talk even more after that. I didn't remember the last time I actually sat down and talked to my mum about everything and anything. Mum left shortly after dinner and I hugged her and we all waved to her before she Portkey-ed out of the place. "Do you think Uncle Ron will bring the car?" James asks. "Because if he does, do you think we could illegally apparate and not get detected?"

"James Potter, son of the Boy Who Lived and of a Great Quidditch player, owner of no brain," Belle says under her breath. Lily gave her a high five.

"What?" says James, moaning. "I don't trust his driving."

My dad was not the best driver – he never had been – and most of the time, he would drive the car to come and pick us up from the train at break times. "In dad's defence, your dad isn't a great driver either!" I say. "He ran over Fred's toes when we were ten, remember?"

James doesn't seem bothered by this. "The idiot has ten of them, what's the harm in losing one?"

* * *

Malfoy used to wear glasses back in Second Year and he always said it was _'because of an actual eye problem'._ I want to be able to use this excuse, ' _sorry guys; I have an actual eye problem. I am not staring at you. It's the eye problem_ _'_ _._

I hated that I was staring but there was something drawing me in, I couldn't pinpoint it. It was something between Zoe's tongue and Malfoy's throat that got me.

I almost choke on my food when I see him wrapping his arms around her shoulder's and that deafening high-pitched squeal she does when he hugs her tight was the very same high-pitched squeal she used when she heard her name being said across the radio when Nina would ask her dad to shout out to our dorm. It is nice to know that her level of excitement when it comes to Malfoy is the same as when people announce her name. I feel sorry for Malfoy though, it must be tough when your girlfriend doesn't find you all that exciting.

I need to stop watching them. Why should I even feel weirded out by this? She hasn't spoken to me in months and him, well, he _hadn't_ spoken to me in months and now he speaks to me all the time. Mum always said that bipolar was a serious condition and that we shouldn't treat people differently for it. So I won't. For now anyway.

"Stop watching them, it makes you look like you have an eye problem," Al says from behind me.

"I have an actual eye problem, Al."

He gets my joke and starts laughing. "It's not a joke," he says seriously. "Scorp did have an actual eye problem."

"Of course it would be you to feel sorry for the git."

"I'm just glad he's talking again," he says lifting his shoulders. "No thanks to her of course."

"You don't like _her_?" I say, knowing he is referring to Zoe.

"Of course I don't, she tries to get Scorp to ditch training and to stop going to the Greenhouse with me and the Scamander-Longbottoms and she sure as hell doesn't want Scorp hanging out with _you_." Al's eyes turn to slits as though plotting a sweet revenge.

I look over to where they were standing and now they're gone. Probably to do a little more snogging in the privacy of a broom cupboard. "Hmmm. I guess she is protective of her boyfriend."

"She better get a little more protective of her hair soon, I heard Aleksander say if she decides to make any more trips to the Pitch when we are training, he was going to hex her hair green."

"I have always loved that Parkinson-Krum."

"I know you two have been spending more time together, where's the invite huh?" he says nudging me in the ribs.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I know exactly what you're talking about Al, and this is why it makes me want to shove my fists in my mouth when I see Zoe laughing and throwing her blonde hair around and what's a bet her and Malfoy go and feed Unicorns together.

Al can see I wasn't giving up with my eye problem and taps me on the shoulder. "Come on, Bud. Let's go to class."

I follow him all the way to Potions wishing I could erase everything I had seen.

* * *

Class had become a hive of activity and when I say activity I mean none at all. It was a quiet day in which most of the people had their feet up on their desks. It turns out that Ludwig had had enough of the term and decided we didn't need to do much studying today, it was Christmas Eve eve after all, what more could we do? Christmas Eve eve was a valid excuse, right?

I kept having these weird visions of breakfast and Zoe was like a snake and Malfoy was a mouse and she was trying to eat him and that was why she had such a long tongue. And now I feel like most of my breakfast is trying to find its way up. I wish I could curse my eyes so I could erase the image or maybe I would put shampoo in my eyes but let's face it, I didn't have a right to care about any of this.

He's leaning back on the back two legs of his chair, his hands behind his head and his robes lying on the ground. "This is bliss," he says.

Today his quill hadn't even touched the parchment I nod with satisfaction to myself. I knew it; he was never a studier at all! It was all a ruse, I am proud of myself for not being tricked by this fool. "We still have work to do you know," I say.

He looks over to me now and I know he can see I am not even remotely giving him any sign of attention because I am trying my damned hardest to stop thinking of his arms wrapped around Zoe. "Howsit?" he says.

Howsit? _How is it?_ Fucking dandy! "I am fine," I say casually. "Absolutely fine, fine!"

"You're not fine," he says looking at me like I am some sort of maniac.

"Stop looking at me like I'm crazy!" I hiss.

"I wouldn't have to look at you like you're crazy if you weren't crazy."

He leans back even further now like I am about to whip my wand out on him. Part of me wants to and I have to stop my hand from moving to the desk where my wand is sitting. "I'm not crazy!"

He shakes his head. "Ok, what's wrong? Why are you being like this?"

I feel like shouting but I remain cool. "Shush!" I say. I don't want to be the one who ruins our conversation winning streak, I had to find the power within to stop being dramatic. A girlfriend was allowed to kiss their boyfriend.

"You realise that you're acting real crazy right now, right? Or am I the only one seeing this..." he starts looking around for people who may be watching. I am lucky enough though that everyone seems so super bored, they're falling asleep at their desks.

"I-I-I..." I stutter. I can't even believe myself. I am crazy. A complete lunatic who has the shits because Zoe had her tongue an inch deep down Scorp's throat and it made me pissed.

Fuck! I just called him _Scorp_ in my mind.

"You're flustered, it's ok," he says patting me on the back being so damn condescending. "People get flustered from time to time, it's natural."

I want to turn around and yell, scream, kick him and say; No! I was not flustered, he was! But let's face it, Scorpius Malfoy was never flustered. His face would never turn as red as mine does. It would remain as pasty and cold as his demeanour, and this gives me some satisfaction – he was a Dementor.

I bring myself down to the real world. He snogged his girlfriend; people do that all the time. I was stupid. "I'm sorry," I mumble. "I'm just having a bad day."

"It happens," he says prodding my arm with his finger. "Maybe you need to come up to the Tower tonight."

Maybe I would if I don't attack Zoe beforehand.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It didn't matter what corridor or which staircase or what class I went to today, it would always turn out that I was going to bump into Zoe and Scorp together. The higher beings were testing my patience today. They wanted to ruin my Christmas or maybe they knew I wouldn't be able to handle all of this and they wanted me to walk into a wall over and over again as punishment. I wasn't going to lose today, not on Christmas Eve eve.

"Look, it's the two mutes," Belle says into my ear. Al was following us – or should I say Belle – around and he was trying to get into the conversation too.

"Who's a mute?" he says. "Scorp? He's not a mute!"

"Shut up!" I hiss as we approached closer to the snake and the mute.

They were standing at the front of the main entrance talking. Probably discussing their romantic Christmas they have planned. She would be buying his family presents of course and he would be buying her a ring. The marriage would take place at the end of the school year I'd say.

Scorp spots us and he waves at us. Zoe stands back and has a weak smile on her face. "Amusing that she still has the energy to smile but can't even talk to us," Belle says.

We make it over to Malfoy and Zoe and there is an uncomfortable silence. Malfoy grins at Al. "You gonna bring me some of those mince pies your Nanna makes back for me after Christmas?" he asks Al.

"Only if Lils doesn't eat them all, I'll try mate."

Belle just stands there looking at her nails and I try to pull at a thread on my jumper.

"So are you two a..." Zoe starts pointing a Belle and Al.

"Sorry," Belle says. "I don't read minds. I don't know what you're asking."

"She reads Crystal Balls," Al says smiling, obviously taking Belle's comments seriously.

Well, this was lovely and awkward. Nothing like a catch up with friends to get you into the Christmas spirit.

Malfoy looks confused. "She reads Crystal Balls?"

"Maybe," Al concludes with a shrug.

"You mean she reads _your_ balls?"

This earns Malfoy a scowl from Belle. "Don't you have peroxide to pour in your hair?"

Malfoy, Zoe and Al all look confused. I laugh and then they all stare at me. "Very funny, McKinnon," Malfoy says.

"How could it be funny when you didn't get it?"

Oh no. I didn't need these two to get into it, not on Christmas Eve eve! "Hey..." I say weakly.

"You're getting into the wrong war, mate," Al says with a facial expression that tells me he is in awe of Belle right now.

"I'm a big boy, I can handle it," Malfoy says with a shrug.

"That's not what I heard," Belle says sniggering.

"And who would have told you that?" Zoe says, her eyes flicking my way.

I take a step back. I was not getting involved at all and I don't even know why she would look at me. Maybe Malfoy told her we kissed back in Third Year. Maybe he spruced up the story and said we might have slept together at some point too. Stupid Malfoy.

"You're not the only one who has barked up that tree, Zoe. As much as you're acting like you are."

Malfoy and Al take a step back too, they didn't want in on this argument either. "Belle, stop! It was a joke," I say putting my hand on her chest to stop her getting closer to Zoe.

Zoe laughs in a similar way someone would laugh at a funeral. Very evilly. "You're just jealous that I actually got a guy."

"Why would I be jealous of you getting a guy?" Belle says but her facial expression is poison. She's testing Zoe, I know it. She is waiting for Zoe to snap and say something that she will regret. It is then I notice Belle has her hand on her wand.

"I can't believe you. You make comment like I'm a slut -" Malfoy cuts Zoe off.

"Can everyone just cool down?" he says, his eyes telling me that he is on the brink of begging for these two to stop.

"Happy Christmas, Zo," Belle says weakly.

Al looks like a cat who's just been pulled out of water. He also looks like he wants to hug Belle but she will kill him, I know it. "If you ever were jealous of Zoe being with a guy, I'm free you know."

Zoe and Malfoy walk away and leave the three of us standing in the entrance staring at their backs.

Belle nods at Al and puts her arm around his waist, ushering us to go. "I know, Potter. I will keep that in mind."

Al looks like his Christmas has already come.

* * *

The dorm was quiet and everyone's curtains were drawn when I left. Zoe and Belle's curtains had been drawn since after dinner and Nina and Daisy had given me a look like they knew shit had gone down. I tried to make some offhanded comment about girls and periods and how if you live in a space with all girls your cycles can become the same but they looked at me like I was crazy for knowing so much about people's cycles. Or maybe they felt weird because it was their time of the month too.

Malfoy had opened the door to the Tower on the second knock which made me think that he had been waiting for me to turn up. Now we're lying on the ground staring at the ceiling and I did in fact indulge in a death stick.

I watched the smoke float in the air, plumes coming from my mouth, from his mouth, swirling in the air. Even if it did taste like shit, it was a lot of fun.

"Are you expecting anything for Christmas?" he asks. He hadn't even taken off his uniform but he had his school shirt unbuttoned and I could see the scar Dion had left him. His skin was so white yet there was a red, web like scar spread out over his chest on the right. I shudder when I look at it; to think Dion had done that to him makes me feel sick.

I divert my gaze back to Malfoy's eyes. "No," I say honestly. "I'd be lucky to get a mobile phone though."

Malfoy thinks for a bit about what a mobile phone must be then he realises. "Huh, interesting present."

"Not really, but I know my parents want me to get one so when I'm at home I can contact them easily if I'm out and about."

"So you could take it places with you?"

"You don't know what a Mobile phone is?" I ask inhaling smoke.

"I think I do... is it smaller than a regular phone?"

"Much smaller," I tell him.

"Makes sense then, if you can carry it around. Would be easier than Apparating everywhere."

I hold back a snort. "Yes, much easier."

"What's the deal with McKinnon anyway? She seems a little on edge. Maybe she's run out of her stash of weed."

"She doesn't smoke weed!" I say in her defence.

Malfoy laughs. "Well maybe she should and then she wouldn't be so tense!"

I didn't really know what Belle's deal was and really, shouldn't he know? He's the one that's with the girl who Belle has the problem with. "Don't you ask your girlfriend these questions?"

"Why when I can just ask you!"

"You spend most your time with her, it would make sense, wouldn't it?"

Malfoy turns to look at me now. "I spend more time with you than with her, you know?"

I try to keep my thoughts light or I would burst and I would confess to him that all I think about these days was him. "Not much time then huh? Because you only seem to see me in class and up here."

"I want to see you more," he says quietly then he looks at me like I must not repeat that ever. Because I am going to go and tell everyone I know what he just said because I have no control. Not.

"I want to see you more too," I say just as quietly.

He gets up off the ground and starts buttoning up his shirt, "Zoe isn't that much of a talker. I originally thought that was a good thing but now? Not so much."

"Zoe has never been much of a talker," I reply.

"You could have told me that before I decided to ask her out! I thought we were friends, you should have been my wing man!" he laughs. "And the funny thing is, she thinks _I'm_ a big talker!"

He picks up his robes off the ground and stands in front of me. I stand up too, not wanting to look like an idiot sitting there gawking up at him.

He slings his robes over his shoulder and looks at me. I don't remember being so close to him. I could smell him, I could feel the heat coming off his body, I can see right into the pupils of his eyes, the marks on his face and the scar on his lip from when I accidently hit him in the face with a broom back in First Year flying training. I can see the crease on his forehead and I can also see he is so much taller than me now, I feel like a dwarf.

He bends down closer, his lips brush my cheek. "Happy Christmas, Rosie."

* * *

 _Author's Note:_ Hey everyone! Just want to remind everyone to review. It would be very much appreciated.

PREVIEW:

"Why did you want me to come over? Is everything ok?" I ask.

She sighs, "Everything's fine, Malfoy. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas."

I laugh. "You could have written that in your letter," I tell her.

"I could have but then I wouldn't have you here now would I?"


	10. 9: Christmas Day

**Chapter Nine**

 _Christmas Day_

 _A Jolly Malfoy (and somewhat Greengrass) Christmas_

* * *

The look on everyone's face told me they didn't enjoy a Malfoy Christmas. Some of them even looked surprised that they were here (as if we didn't have Christmas here every year). Another year gone in this dungeon, another year where dad might have a bit too much to drink and mum would try her hardest to come up with something edible. Another year where my grandfather would lose his mind a little more and my grandmother would sit there, staring at him, as if he was some sort of animal. Another Christmas where Lee would sit here laughing at everyone and I would also sit here wondering what exactly made me related to these people.

Mum and Grandmother had tried their hardest to try and rid this place of the darkness that was why we didn't live here at the Manor, the darkness couldn't be ripped out of the place regardless of how many flowers mum put on the table or how many walls she painted yellow. I hated it here. We _all_ hated it here. Sometimes when we stayed we could hear my dad screaming in the night, Lee would always say she was used to it, but it wasn't normal trying to get used to hearing your dad screaming.

Mum tried to keep as much normality as possible this Christmas and that's why Lee, our cousins Tori and Liam and I were banished into the lounge room, just like we always were at Christmas.

Tori was named after my mum, she even looked like my mum. She had long brown hair and bright green eyes that were slanted – feline like almost – but when she opened her mouth, she wasn't my mum at all. She was more like her dad who we all refer to as _'Scott-The-Muggle'_ he was a cool uncle who knew a lot about cars.

My cousin Liam, well, he was a lot like his sister, there was nothing more to it than that.

Malfoy Manor had always been so cold through the Christmas snow, Lee would stare at it all day. She said it was as cold as her, the snow but you know she wasn't dramatic at all.

We were all spread out in the lounge room, Tori and Liam on one couch to one side and Lee and I on another. It was like we were kids again. Thinking like we were kids again made things a little easier; especially as my parents found great joy in pretending nothing had changed.

"You really are awkward aren't you Scor?" Tori says sniggering at me.

Lee laughs. "Of course he fucking is, he's fifteen!"

Liam this time laughs at Lee. "You're only a year older than him, since when did sixteen make you so wise?"

Lesath doesn't take this too kindly and her eyes turn to slits. "I'm seventeen!" she corrects him, "And Scor is going to be sixteen next month, besides, I could say the same about you oh great eighteen year old but I don't even think another twenty years on top is going to make you any better. Or smarter."

"Oooh!" Tori says, "That must have hurt!"

"Ok, this is great, you know, the whole family-bonding session but would you all shut up?" I snap.

Tori pretends to be offended. "I'm trying to help you!" she whines. "It's like I'm a big sister trying to give relationship advice!"

"Hello? I am your actual brother, you never gave me relationship advice!" says Liam.

Tori rolls her eyes. "You don't need any relationship advice that goes any further than trying to put your dick in something because you've never been in a real relationship!"

Liam looks genuinely pissed by this. "Maybe if you gave more advice I would be in an actual relationship..."

"Oh don't look so hurt, baby brother."

Lee pats me on the back. "Don't look so depressed. People would love to be in your situation, it's all part of growing up, isn't it?"

What part exactly? Already having a girlfriend? Or liking your best friend?

"Hmmm," is all I manage to say.

I had become a real awkward person. More awkward than before. A person who dreams about Rose Granger-Weasley all the time and then gets all suspicious when I meet up with Zoe. At one point I couldn't even decide what was worse, dreaming about Rose or the fact that my mum was moving out.

"And what do you know about growing up when you're only like, two months older than your brother?" Tori says grinning at Lee.

"I'm not two months older than him!" Lee argues.

"So let me get this straight," Tori starts trying to ignore Lee's glare. "You have a girlfriend but you kissed Rose on the cheek? Well, there's nothing wrong with a little peck between friends!"

Oh, that makes me feel a lot better, thank you dear cousin. I wanted to say there was more to it than just a kiss but I didn't want to look like a loser. "I know."

Liam throws his hand up. "I don't know why you're so wound up about it. Most guys would love to be in your shoes! A chick in the sheets and one on the mind, your blessed! _Blessed_. Say it with me now, _bless_ -" Tori cuts in.

"Blessed is waking up and _knowing_ the person you're waking up next to, but you wouldn't have those moments often, would you Liam?"

I didn't think I was blessed, shit, the more I think about it the worse it gets. Zoe was irritating me, Rose really fucking irritated me, and then I walked out of the Astronomy Tower before Rose could catch up because I am so fucking awkward like that these days.

Lee frowns at me. "I thought you were over Rose?"

Tori shakes her head. "Please, try and be more supportive of your brother!" she says jokingly. "And no one is ever over a Weasley, look at Dominique Weasley..." Yeah, just my luck my lesbian cousin had an interest in Rose's cousin. Mind you, who didn't have an interest in Dom Weasley?

"Wait, isn't Rose the one that you said you all but wanted to marry, last year? You know, cottage, dogs, kids..." Liam trials off.

"I didn't say I wanted to marry her!" I snap a little too quickly and they all look at me like _sure..._

"You couldn't marry her because last year he would have been like," Tori thinks about it. "Fourteen!"

"I didn't say he was actually going to marry her last year," Liam argues back.

"He isn't going to marry anyone so I don't know why you're even arguing about it," Lesath says.

Thank Merlin for my sister, the voice of reason!

"This story isn't sounding as great as it did in my mind because I just realised that you don't have either of them in your bed so..." Liam says.

I chuck a cushion at him. "I'm only fifteen!" I say loudly. "I don't have anyone in the bed."

Lesath looks disgusted at me. "Don't ever say that out loud again, you sound like a priss."

"Don't ask us for advice if you don't want to hear it," Liam says with a shrug.

How the hell am I related to these people? In the next life I want to come back as a Potter. "I didn't ask you guys for advice!" I hiss.

"I'll be the wise one here," Tori starts and I try and hold back a snort. "Decide which one you like the most and then go for it, there is nothing worse than being with someone you don't love."

"Hey, that's good advice!" Lee says.

Tori smiles. "I know, it's not just my body that gets the guys going... Twenty two years old and wiser for it. Anyway, we all know he's going to end up with Weasley, I feel it in my bone!"

I groan. "It's _Granger_ -Weasley."

* * *

I was glad that Christmas hadn't dragged on too long. Liam and Tori left after Christmas lunch before they got too drunk and then their dad would have had to drive them home and mum plastered her fake smile on all afternoon, I was surprised it lasted that long and it didn't slide off and end up in her glass of wine. It was just us in the end and we decided to stay the night here at the Manor before heading back to our house in Ireland, I wasn't sure if dad was going to come, I don't think I care.

Lee looks up from her _Witch Weekly_ and stares at dad. "Are we going to sit here in silence? Or are we going to address the Hippogriff in the room?"

I choke on my drink when Lee says this and I hear swearing coming from the kitchen where mum was and lot of rummaging through the drawers, maybe mum was going to get her wand out and Hex dad.

Dad looks down at the table as if it is the most fascinating thing he has ever seen. "I don't like Hippogriffs much..."

I glare at Lee and then I glare at dad. A messed up Christmas boils down to dad not particularly liking Hippogriffs and his offhand remarks on mum's flowers are supposed to make everything ok? Mum was trying her best to make everything as normal as possible but the fact she was trying to stir three different pots by hand made me realise things were not as fine as she wanted them to be.

I had enough of sitting here under the gaze of Lesath Aubrey Malfoy and decide to better occupy my time, because no matter how much I try to steer my thoughts elsewhere, this was never going to be the same. "Just going outside," I say to dad.

"It's cold out there!" he calls after me.

I had always hated this place. Dad always said he wanted to move to Ireland to be closer to mum's family but I know he hated this place just as much as I did. Malfoy Manor was nothing more than a dungeon of bad memories. Even now looking out across the grounds it just reminds me of when Lee and I used to go out to the tree line and dad would scream at us to get back, he hated those trees. Dad hated when we would go down near the actual, literal dungeons too – so he boarded up the lower floor of the Manor even though we never lived here. Dad hated us coming here.

I look back though and I guess he hated us being anywhere near the bad memories, in a way he was a protective dad – he always had been.

As I take a drag of my ciggie I hear the back door shut. I don't look back, I can tell the weight of those footsteps coming up behind me. "Son," he says.

I don't want to look at him, even when he grabs my shoulder I try not to look. It was like looking into a very disappointing mirror image of what I was going to be when I was older. I used to love that I wanted to be like my dad, but now all I see is the guy who used to be my hero who was not a hero at all.

I can feel dad watching me, out of the corner of my eye I can see he is hurt, I hope that Lee said something to him when I left the room that had pissed him off, knowing her, she would have. "Since when did you smoke?" he asks me.

I don't really care that he might find this rude or even disrespectful; he had lost a lot of my respect when he told us about Vera, oh that's right, he didn't have the balls to tell us about Vera, mum did. So there wasn't much respect left to work with anyway. "Since I started stealing them from you."

Dad frowns and grabs onto my shoulder. "I don't like that," he says seriously.

"We can't all do things that keep others happy, can we?" I snap back.

Dad let's go and nods, he grabs out a smoke from his own pocket.

"I see..."

It was now or never, wasn't it? Dad always said I should be a better man than he was, that was becoming easier than I had anticipated. "Why?" I ask him, looking at him right in the eyes.

Dad looks broken, he was defeated. He had lost me, I know it. I could feel it. "I don't know, son, it was a mistake."

"A mistake is buying the wrong brand of bread, dad. This wasn't a mistake."

Dad swallows loudly. "I've apologised, there is nothing I want more than for things to go back to how things were. You, your mum, your sister. I just want things to go back to normal."

Somewhere in me it felt like I was the dad. My father is practically begging for guidance. I missed my dad so much; I couldn't stand things being like this. My dad was the one I turned to. "I know."

Dad shakes his head and takes a drag of his smoke. "Fuck, Scor. We shouldn't be talking about this, your mother and I will sort it. There's better things out there to be worried about. How's school?"

How was school? School was hard and Rose was harder. Trying to decipher Rose Granger-Weasley was harder than any subject I was taking, OWLs was the last thing on my mind most days. "Good, I guess."

"You guess? Still doing well in your subjects? I mean, of course you are," dad says with a small smile. "What about your girlfriend?"

It takes me a while to realise that dad had met Zoe and that she had been to our house. Dad looks genuinely interested in hearing all about Zoe, a lot more so than I felt about talking about her at the moment. "She's good."

Dad nods. "She's good huh?"

"Yeah..." is all I say and then I inhale again.

"You two, you know..."

Shit, no. this can't be happening! "Draco, are you trying to have the sex talk with me?"

Dad tries to seem like he is not so interested in this. "Well, you know... I assume you know the ins and outs..."

I snigger, now this is why I am so awkward all the fricken time. "Yes, I do know it involves a lot of moving in and out."

This time dad laughs at me and pats me on the back. "Shit son! don't be so crass!"

"What?" I say innocently. "You bought it up!"

"So you're blaming me now?" he says then he gives me a grin. "I just really don't want you to knock her up!"

I sigh. How much weirder could this conversation get. "Don't worry dad, I won't."

"Fuck." dad says, "I wish I was fifteen again."

I snigger. "No you don't"

"In this day and time I do," dad looks at me again though and can sense something was up. "What's wrong, son?"

There was so much going on in my world I didn't even know what wasn't wrong these days. "Nothing," I say.

Dad doesn't seem too convinced but decides to leave it. "That's enough with the bonding," he says. "Someone might think we actually care..."

"Hah!" I reply. "You made a joke!"

"Malfoy's are as funny as Hufflepuff's, don't you remember?"

* * *

Dad didn't come home with us the next day and Lee seemed to be angry at me for talking to dad. What she doesn't realise is that I've put up with her mood swings my entire life, it wasn't going to affect me as much as she pouted and forced it on me to do so.

Zoe had owled while I was gone, I came back to her letter sitting on my window and stupidly I thought of Al and Rose maybe they were wanting to meet up, but it wasn't from them. There was swirly writing all over the paper and I know Rose would think it stupid that Zoe would waste her time writing in such a girly way. I had owled Rose and was still waiting for her reply but knowing the Weasley's Christmas, I will be surprised if she had the time to reply.

"She's so beautiful," mum says in my ear. Zoe was sitting at the kitchen table with Lee. It was sort of weird, mum would always buy flowers and dad would comment on them and say how beautiful they were – just like mum – but here we were, watching Zoe at my kitchen table where the flowers she had bought with her sat. No one commented on them.

I keep quiet, not really knowing what to say so I keep stirring the bowl of cream mum pushed my way. "Mum, why don't you use your wand?"

Mum shushes me. "What's wrong with you?"

"Why do people keep asking me that?"

Mum ' _hmmpfs'_ , "We wouldn't have to ask if you were easier to read. Malfoy's..."

"You're one too," I say stupidly.

"Not for long," mum mumbles. "Is it her?" mum asks, flicking her head in Zoe's direction.

Yes, it was her. It was always her. Because things were getting harder when all I could think of was Rose and I go to sleep thinking of her and I think Zoe can read my mind when all I dream about it Rose.

"Yes," I say simply.

Mum frowns and grabs my wrist to pull me closer. "You two aren't doing things you shouldn't be doing are you?"

She looks me dead in the eye and a little part of me thinks if she keeps looking like this at me, I will die. "No!" I say quickly.

"She's not you know, leading you astray?" mum whispers.

Merlin, anyone would think that I was the bad kid; did she not know anything about her own daughter? She was the one who needed keeping an eye on.

"Why do you and dad think I know everything?"

"I don't want any accidents, Scorpius. And you Malfoy's aren't always so forthcoming with information when you fuck up."

"Mum," I warn. She had a tendency to do this, make it a Malfoy thing.

Mum sighs and pulls my arm so I can bend down and she kisses my cheek. "She is lovely though."

I just nod in reply. "Sure."

"Why are you being like this?" she snaps. "What's wrong?"

"I don't think I love her. I think I love someone else," I admit.

Mum looks at the bowl she's mixing. "You don't know anything about love. You're almost sixteen, you can't fall in love."

Hah, ironic considering mum was only sixteen when she met dad.

Zoe stands up and she is wearing a red dress – Gryffindor red, she didn't have anything Christmas red apparently. She smiles at me and it actually warms me, I missed how happy she is. But even then, she bought roses as her flowers, an interesting choice.

"Zoe!" mum calls while glaring at me. Mum was pissed by what I had said about Zoe obviously. I admit, it did make things a little uncomfortable. "How do you enjoy living here now?"

Zoe stands up grinning. "Great!" she says a little too enthusiastically, "We love it around here."

"That's really lovely, Zoe," Lee says sarcastically and now I give my sister a look that gives my mum's a run for its money.

"How is your sister's business going?" Mum asks.

Lee nods. "Yes, because there is a huge demand for all purple coloured ice cream."

Next time I got my sister alone I would have to do something about her not being able to hold her stupid tongue. She is of course though referring to _I_ _mogen'_ _s All Indigo Ice Cream_ in which every flavour is indigo coloured and was a stupid idea if ever I saw one.

Zoe smiles back at Lesath and something tells me she knew my sister was being a smart arse. "It's indigo," she corrects. "But Imogen is doing great, she loves business down Diagon Alley."

Mum continues her small talk with Zoe and part of me wonders why she even wanted to come here. She comments on our house, she says she loves the colour of my mum's hair, she loves Lesath's room and Lesath hates that she even went in there, she asks where my dad is which becomes a rather awkward silent topic. Lesath says she is going to bed and mum follows say she is going to watch TV but I have yet to even show her how to turn it on since dad has been gone.

Zoe doesn't seem to find my family's behaviour strange at all and it makes me wonder just how weird her family might be. I lie on the bed in my bedroom staring at my Slytherin Banner above my bed. Zoe seems more interested in looking at all the things in my room, touching my photos and flicking through my books, reading the letters I have pinned to my board from Al and Rose.

"I like your family," she says to me. "They're really nice."

I don't know whether this is a genuine comment or maybe she is taking the piss out of me but I don't have the energy to say anything to her so I say; "Thanks."

Zoe turns to look at me on the bed. "I wish you would meet mine," she says.

"Your what?" I say stupidly. I sure knew how to look like a complete idiot at times.

"My family, we might have time tomorrow?"

Sure, I would really like to see her family tomorrow as much as I would like to kick myself in the shins. "Maybe..."

Zoe seems as convinced with my answer as I am. "Well maybe in the summer," she replies.

I nod to myself. "Sure, in the summer," I say humouring her.

This seems to be a good answer because she smiles back. "You spent a lot of time together, didn't you?" she says quietly, fingering the photos on the mantle. This was probably not one of my better moves – having a photo of the girl your girlfriend doesn't talk to, out in the open.

"Well, you guys were best friends too, weren't you?" I ask.

Zoe sniggers. "Not so much best friends as in just friends. It's always been her and Belle."

"McKinnon is a git," I say trying to make her feel better. I really did suck at these feeling things, didn't I?

"Belle is so confident."

I think this is the part where I say something comforting to her. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Rose doesn't even know she's confident but she is..."

Rose didn't know much about anything to do with herself but yet she knew _everything_. "Rose is just Rose."

"Rose has a lot to do with you. I didn't realise. She used to always come in and talk about you and Albus back then," she says pointing a photo from our first year. Molly had taken it of us in front of the lake, we were laughing and waving and shortly after that I pushed Rose in the lake by accident, most of the time she never lets me live it down, saying I almost killed her.

"We were best friends," I say quietly.

Zoe comes over to my bed and puts a knee on the bed trying to balance. She leans forward and kisses me. "I like you a lot, Scorp," she says against my lips.

I feel her silky thigh and my hands move up further than they had before. She starts on my neck; her hands are running through my hair, my fingers cling on harder. This was it.

But the photo of Rose, Al and I next to my bed seemed so big, I was going to fall in it.

* * *

 _Scorp,_

 _If you have the time, floo me tonight at 11, let me know_

 _Rose_

* * *

My mum had gone to bed and my sister, well, I didn't know where she was. It was ten-fifty-nine and I didn't know if Rose had received my Owl or not but I decided to get through anyway. I grabbed a handful of powder and chucked it at my feet.

I arrived at Rose's house in Godric's Hollow and tried my hardest not to make a mess of Hermione's carpet or make too much noise, lucky I was prepared because before I could even take a step out of the fireplace Rose was in my face and hisses; "Shush!"

I don't speak but it is a little alarming when someone who told you to visit attacks you before your eyes even have time to adjust to the lack of light in the room. I eye her but she shakes her head, knowing I was about to say something.

"Come," she whispers. "I don't want Teddy to hear you because he has a loud mouth!"

She was in her pyjamas and I could tell everyone must have been in bed too. Knowing Rose's Nanna, they were probably trying to sleep off the food hangover. I am truly jealous, mum's cooking wasn't the best...

I follow Rose up her stairs and into what I think must be her room. They had a big house with plenty of rooms.

I felt excited being here, like it was something I know I shouldn't be doing but if Rose needed me, I would be there for her. Even if I struggle to try and keep Tori's advice out of my mind or Zoe's face. It was easy when Rose's smile popped up in front of me. "I didn't think you would come!" she says excitedly. "I'm glad you did though because Christmas Eve sucks."

I roll my eyes. "I bet it doesn't suck," I say.

She shrugs; her long hair was tied up in a messy bun on top of her head. "Nah, it doesn't but I was bored."

"Ah, so you only want to know me if you're bored, eh?"

She chucks a pillow at me off her bed but pats the spot next to me. I was being invited to sit on Rose Granger-Weasley's bed and I am doing a fantastic job of not looking like a nut case. I was doing well.

I was so tired but I need to keep that out of my mind too, the last thing I needed at the moment was to fall asleep here and be at risk of being murdered but Merlin, when I sit down the bed is so comfortable! "So," I start. "What's going on?"

She moves a little away from me to give me space but I didn't want the space. I wanted her to be closer so I could explain to her just how me kissing her on the cheek was not supposed to be as much of a fuck up as it was. "Just wanted a bit of Christmas cheer."

I snort. "Christmas cheer? You do realise you're talking to the least cheery person in the world, right?"

She bumps her shoulder to mine. "You're practically Father Christmas!"

I was not having a conventional Christmas this year, in fact, being here right now was starting to look like the highlight. "Yeah, all jolly and shit I am."

"Ah! Just enjoy it or I will make you!"

I wanted to know exactly how she would make me, I really did. I could think of so many things that she could do to make me even a little bit jolly, but I didn't want to suggest anything or risk her holding a grudge against me again. My face flushes just thinking about it so I pull the hood of my jumper even higher over my head. "Did you get me a present?" I ask.

"I might go with Dom and Roxie to Diagon Alley and if there is something that screams Malfoy, I will consider it."

"Seems fair enough," I say with a nod. "I thought about buying something too. How does parchment sound?"

She shakes her head. "How very practical of you, Scorpius."

"I am a man of practicality," I say. "You know me, very prepared."

"I do know you. Better than anyone else."

I challenge her. "Better than Al knows me?"

"You don't see you lying on Al's bed at the moment, do you?"

She had a point. Al knows me but not in the same way. Al didn't know a lot about me or how shit my home life was at the moment. "There are things I can't tell Al."

We sit in silence for a while before Rose speaks again. "You're tired."

I was tired. I was so tired my eyes were burning but being in Rose's company was going to have to be enough to keep me going and I hope that soon she offers me a coffee.

"Why did you want me to come over? Is everything ok?" I ask.

She sighs, "Everything's fine, Malfoy. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas."

I laugh. "You could have written that in your letter," I tell her.

"I could have but then I wouldn't have you here now would I?"

That was a good enough answer for me, so I lie back on her bed, my head resting next to hers. Now I am wondering why it is so much easier to talk to her than trying to come up with conversation when Zoe was lying next to me in the same way.

* * *

 ** _Author's Note:_** Thanks to everyone for reviewing my story! It s very much appreciated.


	11. 10: Boxing Day

**Chapter Ten**

 _Boxing Day_

 _Oh Wise Teddy Lupin_

* * *

Victoire had always been so beautiful that people tended to forget that she had a brain under that mass of blonde hair. People would stare at her – Roxie, Lils and I used to say it was the Veela in her but there was more to it than that.

Victoire always had a way with words too, always so perfectly placed and the way she pronounced words, well, let's say she never slurred or stuttered.

It had started off a typical Christmas at the Burrow. Nanna made enough to feed all us Weasleys' – and the whole of Hogwarts as well. Mum and Dad bought me a watch, they bought Hugo new Quidditch gear and Al had got me an assortment of phone cases for the non-existent phone I had received. And I guess just in case I needed a different phone case for every day of the week.

After our Boxing Day dinner Victoire Lupin decided it would be a perfect time to yell and scream at Teddy and left with Remus and that is why I am laid up here with Teddy Lupin in James room – which is by the way, at _my_ house where me and _my_ parents live.

"Your cousin," Teddy starts, "Has to be the hardest woman on the planet."

Teddy stood at the door way of James' room. A mess of blue hair and eyes that almost matched. He was covered in tattoos and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Now I remember why I had a crush on him for most of childhood. Victoire had called him an interesting array of names when Teddy turned up on Christmas day drunk and now he is stuck here.

"Nah, she's not," James said, throwing a frozen snitch and catching it. "You're just a git."

Teddy scoffed. "I would hardly call having a few drinks with the boys being a git."

"James is right," I add. "You are a git."

Teddy raises an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, because you know all about relationships don't you, Rosebud."

Both Teddy and James snigger at me. I feel my face turning red; these two always thought they were so cool. "You both better shut your traps before I get you evicted. You two both have your own homes; you do know that, don't you?"

Teddy frowns. "Like I said, your cousin is a hard woman! I _want_ to go home and lie in my own bed!"

"Don't get so bleeding drunk that you can't walk then!"

"Christmas drinks with the boys!" Teddy moans. "Just a few drinks with the _boys_!"

James walks over to his part time-brother. "It's ok, Teddy. I know how it feels when dad takes someone else's side. It isn't fair..."

"Your dad was right, drinks could have waited for a time that wasn't nine o'clock in the morning," I say rolling my eyes.

"See, typical of you to take dad's side, just because you share a birthday with him," says James.

Uncle Harry and I were born on the same day so we shared a birthday party most years. But this has nothing to do with anything, I don't even know why I am sitting here thinking about it. "I think your dad is just being responsible, you know someone has to be when they have you two-point-five idiots for sons!" referring to the fact that Teddy was somewhat bought up by Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny too.

Teddy frowns again and his hair darkens slightly. "I miss my son."

"Go and see him! At your house. Where you live. With your _wife!_ " I moan at him.

"The wise Hermione Junior here to rescue us all!" James laughs.

I scowl at the two of them. "I would love to sleep in my own bed tonight so I would really appreciate it, Edward, if you could go home."

"My name's not Edward!" Teddy says turning his hair black.

James and I both laugh this time, the Potters anr5d I always called him Edward just to piss him off.

James pushes past Teddy to leave his room. "Going to hassle Hugo and see if he'll let me borrow his gear this season," he calls over his shoulder.

Teddy makes his way over to James bed where I was and lies down by my legs. "Victoire is going to kill me."

She sure was. She was going to kill him and then resurrect him so she could kill him again. "She is going to murder you."

"I hope its Muggle style; I think I would be better suited to a dramatic exit: Teddy Lupin dies from being shoved in washing machine."

He was crazy. But no crazier than the rest of us. "I don't think you know much about the Muggle World, do you?" Did he understand that he wouldn't be able to fit in a washing machine? Not enough leg space.

He shrugs. "Just whatever Harry's told me."

"Yeah..." I say, my Uncle may have been brought up in the Muggle World but he hadn't been a part of that world in a long time. "So you don't know much about the Muggle World do you?"

"Enough about washing machines!" he says and he prods my leg with his wand. "How about you? How's shit? And I mean the real shit. Tell me about how shit your life is so I don't have to think about Vic."

Oh charming, how lovely is he?

"Good, shit's good. Potions is great, and you know, the other subjects."

Oh and the fact that I think I might like Malfoy, but you know, they say the _less you know..._

"Still getting it on with Oliver Woods' son?" he asks waggling his eyebrows. For a guy who can change his face to whatever he likes, you can imagine just how waggly those eyebrows are.

"Who? The guy that I have been dating and then had a major argument with and now I don't know if I am still dating him?" I blurt. "Yeah, it's going spiffingly well."

"Woah," Teddy says holding up his hands. "Must be bad if you've used the word _spiffing_. Spill, girlfriend," he says using what he must think sounds like a woman's voice.

Where do I start? Would it be around about the place where Malfoy became a mute and lost his fingers? Or would it be around the part where he learned new studying techniques? Or was it when my friend – who just happens to be his girlfriend – practically told me I was a bitch in not so many words?

"Life," I say instead.

"Life?" Teddy asks, obviously not convinced.

I nod. "Life."

"If I wanted to hear about life I'd go back home to my wife."

"I think you should go home to your wife before she becomes your ex-wife."

Teddy laughs. "Don't you know your cousin at all? She needs breathing space first. Then I will go home with a new toy for Remmy and a nice bunch of flowers for Vic and then we'll play make-up all night."

I choke. "Don't say that! That's disgusting, she's my cousin!"

"If you're so disgusted then just pretend I meant literal make up, powders, brushes etcetera."

I decide to let go a little, now I can hear Malfoy saying ' _live a little_ ' in my mind. Teddy always got me talking, he was never judgemental. I could always confide in Teddy. "It's not life," I say.

Teddy pretends to be shocked. "No!" he says sarcastically. "Really?"

I kick him. "Stop being a prat!"

"Sorry, continue."

"Dion is a dick and I don't think we're together which really doesn't bother me. But it's Malfoy."

"Scorpius?"

"No," I say rolling my eyes. "Draco."

"Well..." Teddy starts. "Yes, that would be a matter of life. Because you wouldn't have one if your father found out that you liked a very old, creepy idiot. Life ended."

"Oh hah-hah," I say sarcastically.

"Well the answer to your Dion problem is that you need to dump him! Get rid of him; don't waste your time on something you don't care about."

Huh, just like that Teddy comes up with dump him? As if there wasn't anything more to it. "Dump him?" I say quietly.

Teddy makes a sound like I'm the stupid one. "You don't know if you're together anymore and you don't seem bothered by it so end it! Uggh, Bud, I thought you were smarter than this!"

It was so simple but I was holding onto nothing right now. Dion wasn't the fun, exciting guy he used to be. I got more enjoyment out of listening to Al talk about Belle all day than I did spending time with Dion. "Right. I will dump him."

"That's our Bud!" he says trying to reach up and ruffle my hair. "Now, Scorpius. Throw it at me, I know shit about everything. I should become a shrink."

He's a mute. His owl died. He likes to encourage me to smoke in the Astronomy Tower. I snuck him into the house last night.

I like the hell out of him.

"I-I-I..." I trial off.

I have feelings for Malfoy. Zoe is a git and she didn't deserve him. I feel like shouting it, I feel like trying to erase the kiss at Christmas, I want to illegally apparate to his house and tell him that it was a mistake because you shouldn't kiss your best friend because it will make said best friend a little mental. I was going mental, I had to be.

"Yes?" Teddy asks.

"We're friends again."

Teddy shakes his head. "Right, now that you're friends again we can all start living our lives again," he says sarcastically.

"When did you realise that you loved Vic?" I ask him.

Teddy sits up and smiles then clicks his fingers as if he was born for this moment. "Make sure you repeat this to her so I can be in the good books," he says. "I realised I loved Victoire Lupin when I couldn't stop thinking about her and being around her made me happier than I had ever been," he says simply.

Seemed simple enough. Love was simple right? That was the whole point of loving someone, it was supposed to be as easy as breathing.

That settles something then, I am not in love with Malfoy because he makes my life harder and he was so multi layered that just thinking about him was stressful. But lately he has been a whole lot of good, so much so he fell asleep on my bed and I had to get him out of the house before anyone woke up.

"Is it hard being a dad?" I ask now.

Teddy starts laughing. "Being a parent is the hardest fucking thing in the world!" he says. Teddy's son Remus was one. "Crying, eating, crapping, it's hard! Do yourself a favour and never have kids!"

Just having to look after Remus in the holidays was hard enough, "I will take your advice."

"Vic, Remmy and I are moving to Hogsmeade next year so I can take over Care of Magical Creatures," he says quietly as if it was nothing.

"What?!" I say patting his blue hair, "You're joking!"

Teddy! Right there with us at school – hopefully without getting pissed and thus pissing Vic off. It was going to be great! We had a place to visit, and we could see Vic and Remus all the time.

"Not joking, I knew you guys would be happy. Now we can keep an eye on you, you don't want to do anything that might ruin your chances of being Head Girl!"

"I won't make Head Girl," I say. In all honesty, there was a high chance but there was more to it than just good marks in class.

"Your mum didn't think she'd become Minister but here I am, in the Ministers house..."

"Hmmm... you're right."

Teddy sighs and then looks at me in the eye. "If you think you might have feeling for Malf-"

I stop him. "I don't!" I say a little too quickly, good one Rose, you're not going to convince anyone!

Teddy eyes me. "Ok, well, let's say you did. Just make sure your happy."

That was it? That was the great advice from Teddy Lupin. All of that talk lead up to that one sentence. What shit advice. Because I was so happy at the moment, I could float away.

* * *

"You made a huge mistake, 'Mione!" dad calls from the lounge.

Mum is in the kitchen makes the loudest sigh ever just so dad could hear it, he looks at me with a grin, knowing he had just pissed mum off. "I did not!" she calls back.

Dad's face turns serious this time. "Calling Bill was the right choice was it? Next time we see Teddy he will have his balls around his neck as jewellery!"

Hugo snorts and starts laughing. "Oi dad," he whispers. "Get Teddy to Morph a set of balls around his neck next time he sees mum and see if she dies!" he says through his laughs.

Dad laughs with him and I can't help but think it is a little extreme wanting mum to _die_ from seeing that.

"Good one Hugh!" dad says.

Yes, excellent wanting our mum to die.

Mum pops her head out into the lounge room from the kitchen. "Don't be so dramatic, Ronald. Bill is a calm and collected man, I'm sure he is not going to physically harm Teddy."

"Mentally then?" Hugo asks. "And then he might end up in the Altered Minds Unit."

"Stop being so morbid, Hugo!"

"Yeah, stop being so morbid Hugo!" dad says and then waits for mum to go back into the kitchen. "I'm more worried about Fleur, what's a bet Teddy will get a free trip to Paris and we'll never see him again?"

"Maybe it will trigger his wolf blood and he will become a leader of a pack?"

"Uggh, you two are stupid!" I say.

Dad just stares at me. "You ok, Rosebud?"

How do I tell him that listening to him and Hugo talk shit all the time was starting to wear thin? "You two are crazy, do you know that?"

"You're angry," Hugo states.

"Women, son."

Women? "I'll tell mum you said that," I say to dad but I give him a wink to say that I was joking.

James comes in and plonks himself down on the couch between me and dad. "Where've you been?" dad asks him. "You're Aunt just got Teddy in trouble!"

"I did not! I was just trying to encourage him to go home to that place where he lives!" mum calls from the kitchen.

"Teddy's going to get his balls cut off and made into a necklace," Hugo adds.

James seems unphased by all this information, shit, has he really been living here so long that he is not surprised that my mum may or may not have got his adopted brother killed or that my mum is a nark?

"Been out and about," James says breezily. "Went to go and see Leah."

"How is Leah?" I ask and James gives me a suspicious look as if wondering why I was asking.

I had a genuine interest.

Not really, I just never hear much about Leah. Lesath on the other hand...

"Why don't you invite her over for dinner?" mum calls from the kitchen.

"Is she wearing an extendible ear or something?" dad mutters.

"James can invite her over to dinner at his own house with his own parents," Hugo says. I high five him at the same time as dad goes to elbow him in the ribs. "Ouch!" he says putting down his hand.

"How many times do I have to tell you Hugo Fred Granger-Weasley, that this is my house too now? These are my parents too!" says James.

"You tell him, Jamie!" mum calls from the kitchen.

Dad stares at the kitchen door. "You didn't feel the same way about Teddy!" dad calls.

"I would really love to get to know Leah better!" I say.

James scowls at me. "You know her."

"I don't _know_ her, _Jamie_."

Dad looks in between James and I. "I sense a bit of hostility..."

"Hostility? Never!" James says grinning at dad.

No one knew Leah really. We see her around the Common Room and around the castle but James never bought her over. I wanted to know more about this girl and truly what she meant to James. Maybe it would help me keep my mind occupied.

Dad doesn't look convinced by James but sighs and says; "I hope Teddy is ok."

"HE'S FINE!" mum shouts from the kitchen.

"Shit dad, you might be the Teddy to mum's Victoire," I say.

Dad just glares at me.

"Did I hear you talking to yourself again last night?" Hugo asks.

I try to remain calm but I could feel my heart beating so hard it was going to come out. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Well you asked if I was talking to myself again, and it's a yes," I say trying to cover up. I didn't think Malfoy and I were talking that loud but maybe Hugo has supersonic hearing.

"You have to stop doing that, Bud," dad says. "It's not normal."

"I was just going over my homework!" I say trying to sound like it was normal. Merlin, my family will think I'm a freak.

"It's Christmas! Stop worrying about it!" dad says.

At least I won't have to explain why Malfoy was here in the middle of the night, even if I look like the biggest nerd out.

* * *

"Slumber party!" I yell at Albus.

I was standing in Al's bright red room. There were books, brooms, underwear and letters scattered all over the floor. He obviously must be on strike because there is no way a room should be this much of a mess at any stage in your life. Not even after a divorce or a bad case of the flu.

"Does he have the flu?" I ask Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny who were both standing behind me. "Because I literally can't see him through the mess..."

Aunt Ginny sighs and Uncle Harry tries to stop her. "Gin," he says weakly. "Don't..."

She doesn't take his advice, just like she always doesn't. "Albus Severus Potter! Get your lazy arse up!" she shouts.

I hear a series of groans, one from behind me from my uncle and another from under a pile of washing near where Al's bed was, or at least used to be.

"He's been in here all day. He went out with Dom and Fred last night to stay at their place," Uncle Harry says. Rookie mistake, they weren't having an innocent slumber party, they would have been having a full on, firewhiskey skulling, beer popping, champagne spraying party. "I tried to keep it low key from - " he points at Aunt Ginny, "- But I think she could smell it on him."

Now she was in the room whacking him with a broom. "You get up and tidy this place or you will get a room under the stairs and then that way you won't have the space to mess up!"

Uncle Harry shudders. "Not the stairs," he mumbles.

I keep watching the scene unfold before me. Aunt Ginny whacks Al as he tries to find pants; she whacks him as he's picking up discarded brooms. Uncle Harry just watches in awe and something tells me he might like an angry Ginny...

"Sorry Bud," Aunt Ginny says smiling at me after she had finished prodding Al with her wand. "He's all yours... if not a little broken but he'll be ok."

Al yells out to his mother. "Mum, can I have a potion! My head hurts!"

Aunt Ginny whips around. "You want to drink with the big boys; you cope like the big boys!"

"It was Dom though," Uncle Harry adds.

Aunt Ginny laughs humourlessly. "She's the biggest boy out of the group when it comes to Firewhiskey."

"Just like you, huh?" He replies cheekily and this earns him a whack from the broom Aunt Ginny was still holding.

I walk into the much cleaner and tidier room and Al was lying on the bed, his hands covering his eyes and he groans. "Bud, I'm dying."

The more time I spent around my family this Christmas, the more I noticed how almost every member of my family called me Rosebud or Bud. They always have since I was a kid. It used to annoy the shit out of me but right now, here at Al's death bed; I wondered if this would be the last time I ever heard him call me that.

"Don't drink with the big boys," I say opening the curtain to blind him. "You heard your mother."

Al shrieks just as a Vampire would. "Don't be mean, shut the fucking curtain!"

Oh no, Al swore! "You sound just like your brother right now."

"Now I sympathise with him, I know his pain when he goes out drinking and then the next day he feels like shit, I will never yell at him when he's hung over again!"

"Not really Al Potter's finest moment, is it?" I tease.

He attempts glaring at me but he can barely keep his eyes open. "First time having more than a few quiet drinks with Granddad, I saw Dominique kiss like a million different people and Freddie lost his head. I saw things I will never be able to erase from my memory, Rose."

This doesn't surprise me at all. Those two together were loose cannons, or rogue wands or just freaks in general. "You're lucky your parents let you go," I say handing him a glass of water that I'd just summoned.

He grabs the water and kisses my hand. "Thank you, I knew it, you would never let me die," he takes a sip. "I don't think they knew that was going to happen..."

I snort. "Yeah right, Al. They know Dom and Freddie; they knew something was going to happen, and its Christmas, maybe they wanted a bit of free time."

Al shudders at the thought. "That explains why Billy had to go and stay with Teddy and Vic."

"Don't get me started on those two," I say.

Al moves over in his bed so I have space to jump in. "Slumber party is it?" he asks.

I nod. "Yup. Got the Bertie Botts Beans and everything," I say pointing at my bag.

"Thank Jesus and Merlin. I'm so hungry and something tells me mum isn't feeding me tonight!"

"I think if you eat anything it might find its way up."

Al smiles. "We haven't done a slumber party in ages. We should have invited Scorp!"

I feel a lump in my throat. "No!"

"No?" Al says frowning. "I thought you two made up?"

"We did!" I say quickly again. Shit, I really had to stop with these quick, suspicious answers. How many times did my mouth have to betray me?

"Then what's the problem?" he asks. Oh sweet, innocent Albus. He always looked at the bright side of life, the side where your best friends aren't fighting and one isn't falling in love with the other and one of them hasn't lost his owl.

"Nothing's the problem, Ally boy!"

Ally boy? What in the actual of fucks...

"Rose," he warns me, "What's going on?"

If I couldn't tell Al, I couldn't tell anyone. In fact, I had pretty much told Teddy over Al. That wasn't right. Al was like my brother, Al was my everything, and Al and I were the only two people in the world for a long time. If I couldn't tell him anything then who could I trust? He was my Harry to my Ron Weasley.

"Shit Rose, you're not the same anymore."

Hmm. "You have a foul mouth now don't you?"

"A few drinks will do that to you. I've seen things."

It was now or never. It was now or never, ever, ever. I would have to take it to the grave.

"Al," I start, taking a deep breath. "I think I'm starting to like Malfoy."

"Scorpius?" he says blankly. Why in the hell do people think it could possibly be someone else? As if he has a twin brother or it could be his cousin.

"Yes!" I snap.

Al just keeps staring at his hands. "Like a crush?"

I don't think it's a crush; it was a hell of a lot more than a crush. "Ever since he stopped talking to me, I realised how much I missed him and now that we're talking again, it's become a lot more."

Al doesn't even look at me. "Scorp?"

"Yes, not Draco..."

"Draco?" he asks.

"Don't get me started."

Al turns his head to look at me. He's staring at me. He's looking at me with those Harry-like eyes like I've done something wrong. "He's Scorp, Bud! You don't like him. You have a crush on him because he studies now!" he says with a laugh. "Wait until after OWLs, it'll be back to Rose and Scorp fighting again."

I don't find this as funny as my cousin does. "Yeah," I try and say as lightly as I can. "You're right."

"You're like my sister, if that dick-head ever annoys you, just let me know, I'll deal to him."

"I don't think that him annoying me has anything to do with me liking him… Besides, you did nothing to help when he stopped talking to me."

Al shrugs. "I've seen things last night, Rose. I've seem Dominique stick a wand up someone's nose."

Something tells me that Albus Potter has not listened to a word I've said.

* * *

 _ **Author's Note:**_ No, not abandoned everyone. I'm just useless! I have made a come back though and hoping to be more consistent. Thanks you to everyone who has reviewed, even if it's to ask me if I have ditched lol! I'm sorry, time just gets away! Anyways, please review more! I love all my reviews and appreciate every single one of them - the good, the bad and the constructive xx


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